Please, you can stop with those congratulatory emails, telephone calls, Facebook messages, tests, and Twitter DMs. I already realize that I have won the much-coveted award: the Weekly Standard's "Twitter of the Day." On a daily basis, the staff of that conservative magazine reviews tens of millions of Twitter messages—"tweets," for those in the know—in order to identify that one very special less-than-140-character message deserving of their notice. We salute them for this hard work. After all, it does entail much sacrifice. Were they not poring over all the world's Twitter feeds, they could be reporting on Dick Cheney's hourly observations regarding national security. Thankfully, Cheney has not yet begun to tweet—he's dithering on Twittering—for were he doing so, the rest of us would not stand a chance to win this particular prize.
What won the judges' fancy was this tweet of mine:
And hundreds of millions don't. RT @GOPLeader: AP: ‘Thousands rally’ to protest Pelosi #healthcare http://bit.ly/1JUFJP #Housecall #killbill
I was responding to a message that had been sent out minutes earlier by Republican House minority leader John Boehner, who was celebrating the arrival at the Capitol of thousands—yes, thousands!—of conservative citizens who were willing to yell and scream and hold signs of hate to beat back the emerging health care reform legislation.
The award citation, written by Michael Goldfarb (who last received attention in these digital pages for confusing disagreement with treason), was direct and simple in its reasoning:
Good point, Corn. Just like the hundreds of millions who didn't march on Washington for civil rights or to end the war in Vietnam. Or the hundreds of millions who didn't take to the streets to protest the Iraq war. Or the hundreds of millions who didn't vote for Barack Obama. The silent majority strikes again!
Who knew that Goldfarb could perform such an exquisite imitation of Stephen Colbert? His portrayal of a right-wing fan of twisted logic, who is unable to discern the purposeful excess of my winning Twitter message, was spot-on. (Hooray for you, sir.) Of course, just such a person would suggest that the presence of a few thousand angry conservatives trumps the massive electoral majority assembled by President Obama in last year's election. And just such a person would also ignore the inconvenient fact that both houses of Congress are controlled by sizable Democratic majorities that were placed there by millions throughout the land. And just such a person would most certainly claim, all evidence to the contrary, that the thousands who were bused by conservative outfits to this mid-day gathering represent the true majority of this great country.
Given Goldfarb's bravura performance—inspired by my few meager words—I can only humbly say one thing: I accept.
You can follow David Corn's postings and media appearances via Twitter—as Michael Goldfarb knows.