Nothing. It says nothing. It's a stupid movie about trucks fighting each other and stupid humans running around doing meaningless bullshit. As far as movies about trucks from space fighting each other go, it's fine, I guess. The trucks fight quite well and the humans run around doing meaningless bullshit impressively. The humans are all very attractive, too, which is nice. None of it makes any sense, of course. The movie is awful. This is an objective truth. You're probably going to see it eventually because that's the way life works, but make no mistake, it's deeply stupid.
This is the fourth film about robot trucks from space fighting each other and maybe the thrill has just died a bit? I think for the fifth one they should switch it up and have the robot trucks from space kiss each other while the humans run around doing meaningless bullshit. The humans and their meaningless bullshit are a key factor to the success of this franchise. They shouldn't abandon that. But I personally would like to see something new. Something fresh. The trucks in the sweet embrace of love. Kissing, holding, touching, rubbing.
Campus rape is an epidemic in America. According to a 2007 study commissioned by the Justice Department, 19 percent of women report being sexually assaulted by the time they leave college. For reasons that make decent people pull their hair out, many colleges do absolutely nothing to punish the asshole student perpetrators and in fact seem to go out of their way to see that allegations of assault go unreported. Not because they want their students raping other students, of course. But because "boys will be boys" or some bullshit.
This is the deeply insane reality of many campuses in America. Here is a video of Jon Stewart and friends explaining this perfectly.
Google! It's a company. Big one! Real big. Important too! The employees who work there work super hard, probably. Long hours, one imagines. Now let's not overdo this. It's not like they're Chilean coal miners, but I think it's fair to assume that they spend a lot of time away from their families. The children of Google engineers probably spend a similar amount of time wondering, "Why does daddy care more about the internet than me?" or "Why did mommy miss my recital? I understand that Google+ was down, but who would have even noticed? I'm her child for God's sake!" Anyway, one way of remedying this would be to run away to an orphanage and live some sort of 21st century Dickens novel. And, yes, life would be tough but in the end, say come Christmas, you and all the other orphans would gather around a fire and there'd be turkey and apple cider and you'd speak in a Cockney accent and "another year in the books, governor! Things have been better but at least we've got each other!"
It's a bit hard to make out but it says: “Dear google worker, Can you please make sure when daddy goes to work, he gets one day off. Like he can get get a day off on wednesday. Because daddy ONLY gets a day off on saturday. From, Katie. P.S. It is daddy’s BIRTHDAY! P.P.S. It is summer, you know.”
Shiplacoff responded with a letter of his own:
Now Katie's dad gets a whole week off to spend with his daughter. Presumably he will in fact spend it with her. That would be awful, right? If he didn't? If he went and spent a week with his secret family in Hawaii? Not that he has a secret family. I don't know him. He probably doesn't. But if he does, he should make that secret family write an adorable letter if they want to see him. This is Katie's time.
How are you? Are you feeling alive? Are you feeling like life is worth living? Perhaps there is a bounce in your step? Optimism in your eye? Are you eager to embrace the world as it is today and forge an even better one in the smithy of tomorrow?