Dave Gilson

Dave Gilson

Senior editor

Dave Gilson is a senior editor at Mother Jones. Read more of his stories, follow him on Twitter, or contact him.

Full Bio | Get my RSS |

Dave Gilson is a senior editor at Mother Jones. Read more of his stories, follow him on Twitter, or contact him.

Advertise on MotherJones.com

Kids, Obama Is Going to Close Gitmo And This Time He Means It.

| Fri Oct. 10, 2014 5:46 PM EDT
"Don't make me pull this prison camp over. Because I will."

Scene: President Obama, driving slowly toward the White House, announces yet again that he wants to shut down the Guantanamo prison camp. A clamor erupts in the back seat.

Kids, I've already told you a million times—I'm going to close Guantanamo.

This time I mean it. And no bellyaching.

Listen, I know you don't like it, but it's time we behaved like civilized human beings.

I don't care who started it. That doesn't make it right.

Will you please quiet down? I can't even hear my own executive order over all that racket!

I'm serious now. End of discussion.

Because I am your president, that's why!

Don't make me pull this prison camp over. Because I will.

Just wait until your next president hears about this. Hoo boy is she gonna be mad.

Keep it up and you won't be extralegally detaining anyone for a solid month, mister!

We've been over the drone thing. When you're a president you can do whatever you want with a drone.

Don't you "habeas schmabeas" me, young lady!

That's it! I am so drafting a new, even stronger statement as soon as we get home.

And stop asking if we're there yet! We'll end this War on Terror when we get there!

Tue Mar. 18, 2008 8:22 PM EDT
Mon Feb. 18, 2008 5:50 PM EST
Thu Jan. 24, 2008 1:39 PM EST
Tue Jan. 22, 2008 1:01 AM EST
Fri Jan. 4, 2008 9:27 PM EST
Fri Dec. 21, 2007 2:58 PM EST
Thu Dec. 20, 2007 5:43 PM EST
Wed Dec. 19, 2007 5:35 PM EST
Thu Dec. 13, 2007 4:22 PM EST
Thu Dec. 6, 2007 8:47 PM EST
Wed Dec. 5, 2007 7:32 PM EST
Tue Dec. 4, 2007 7:10 PM EST
Mon Dec. 3, 2007 1:35 PM EST
Fri Nov. 30, 2007 8:46 PM EST
Wed Nov. 28, 2007 7:29 PM EST
Wed Nov. 28, 2007 12:53 PM EST
Mon Nov. 26, 2007 8:57 PM EST
Tue Nov. 20, 2007 4:06 PM EST
Thu Nov. 1, 2007 5:47 PM EDT
Thu Oct. 18, 2007 6:37 PM EDT
Thu Oct. 18, 2007 6:34 PM EDT
Thu Oct. 18, 2007 6:18 PM EDT
Mon Jul. 16, 2007 6:26 PM EDT
Mon Jul. 16, 2007 6:24 PM EDT
Thu Jul. 5, 2007 7:18 PM EDT
Mon Jul. 2, 2007 6:58 PM EDT
Tue Jun. 26, 2007 3:49 PM EDT
Tue Jun. 26, 2007 1:43 PM EDT
Tue Jun. 26, 2007 1:34 AM EDT
Fri Jun. 22, 2007 6:20 PM EDT
Thu Jun. 21, 2007 9:14 PM EDT
Fri Jun. 8, 2007 4:24 PM EDT
Thu Jun. 7, 2007 1:28 PM EDT
Tue Jun. 5, 2007 5:24 PM EDT
Tue May. 29, 2007 9:22 PM EDT
Wed May. 23, 2007 1:29 PM EDT
Wed May. 16, 2007 4:19 PM EDT
Fri Mar. 28, 2008 3:00 AM EDT
Sat Jun. 30, 2007 3:00 AM EDT