Mitt Romney has been the Republican Party's presumptive nominee since April, but the 2012 presidential field is still more crowded than you might think: More than 400 candidates have filed statements of candidacy with the Federal Election Commission. You've probably heard of some of them, like comedian Roseanne Barr, Quran-burning pastor Terry Jones, and anti-abortion activist Randall Terry. But you probably haven't heard of these wacky would-be presidents:
Lester Byerley, hydrogen peroxide drinker
Lester Byerley MySpaceA fan of FDR who nevertheless filed as a Tea Party candidate, Byerley warns that Obamacare will "put people in jail for not buying insurance." He recommends regularly consuming hydrogen peroxide to cure cancers, colds, and other viruses. By reducing the need for doctors and hospitals, Byerley's cure-all would kill jobs, he conceded to the Philadelphia Weekly. "But human health should supercede everything, including the economy." Byerley also said that as president he would "hand out Federal Reserve debit cards to anyone earning under $50,000 a year, and it'll start off with $12,000."
Warren Ashe, Time Traveler
While working for the Reagan administration, Ashe claims, he developed a "program of time travel communications" that reached out "at least and no less than 500 years into the future." He says he has transported sperm and DNA into the 24th century and has built flying saucers "that are capable of going to another solar system at high warp speed." Ashe, a Democrat who has done stints in the Air Force, Army, and Navy, and owns the Jyperonix Astrophysics company, has been running for president since 2000. His hobbies include computers, pool, tennis, listening to "Snoops Dog," and "inventing electromagnetic hover devices."
Douglas "Dutch" Van Raam, roller derby fan
"Dutch" Van Raam Project Vote SmartThe all-but forgotten Free Soil Party lives on through Van Raam, who says the party's 1848 nominee, Martin Van Buren, is his favorite president. Unlike Old Kinderhook, Van Raam rides a Harley, loves nachos and Heather Graham, and has been a roller-derby referee. Other modern-day Free Soilers have questioned Van Raam's claim to the mantle of the mid-19th century antislavery party, accusing him of being "a pirate with no honor."
Rutherford B. Hayes, EX-Beauty Pageant EXEC
In an earlier age, Rutherford B. Hayes served as our 19th president. Today, Hayes (no relation) has ambitions to return his name to its former glory, vowing to rid Washington of "socialists, communists, and marxists, as well as sensatiable [sic] condescending egos." He'd also reestablish the gold standard and get the country out of Afghanistan and the UN. Hayes is the former CFO of Miss Liberty America, in which contestants are judged in swimsuit, founding-father trivia, and marksmanship competitions. He says he responds to all of his prospective supporters' Facebook messages, "even if someone's being a turd."
[Read more in the MoJo blog]