Tim Murphy

Tim Murphy

Reporter

Tim Murphy is a senior reporter at Mother Jones. Email him with tips and insights at tmurphy@motherjones.com.

Get my RSS |

This clip of then-Senate candidate Mitt Romney being interviewed by Medfield (Mass.) Cable 8 back in 1994 has been making the rounds. It's classic Romney, right down to his preferences for music: "I like music of almost any kind, including this." Boy, aren't bass lines great? I love tempo.

Take a look:

If you're wondering, "What ever happened to that Ken Cole kid?" we can report that he seems to have recovered completely from the awkwardness of this interview, as well as the supreme boredom of growing up in Medfield (incidentally, also my hometown). His first directing credit, Tornado Glory, tracked the antics of two Midwestern twister chasers for PBS, and he just completed his second project, a Bourne Supremacy-style mockumentary about IT workers. I sent him the clip; here's his reaction:

Former GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain.

So that happened.

Former restaurant industry lobbyist, talk-show host, motivational speaker, and Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain dropped out of the GOP presidential race at a rally in Atlanta on Saturday, citing "false" attacks on his character that prevented him from getting his message out. Cain, in a noticeably less caffeinated speech than has been his custom, alleged that "elites" and political reporters had conspired to take down his reputation. Cain's not exiting politics, though; he's moving on to what he repeatedly referred to as "Plan B"—a new website devoted to sharing his solutions for fixing America. 

The site, "Cain Solutions," is currently empty.

In the end, despite demonstrating a total lack of interest in the rest of the world, the intricacies of politics, or basic Constitutional principles, Cain was undone not by ignorance or even a parade of sexual harassment complaints, but by alleged infidelity. For many, the main question wasn't whether Cain would drop out today, but whether Gloria Cain would stand by her husband's side when he did it—she did, taking the stage to chants of "Gloria! Gloria!" from the crowd.

After spending much of his address chiding the political establishment for not taking him seriously, Cain closed the speech with an extended quote from the theme song to the Pokemon movie: "Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It’s never easy when there’s so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference. There’s a mission just for you and me." Sometimes you just can't catch 'em all.

The dream is dead. But what a journey it's been. Here's a guide to some of Cain's greatest (or not) hits:

Herman Cain's presidential campaign is all but over. The latest Des Moines Register poll puts his support in the critical early caucus state at just 8 percent—down 15 points from last month. Also: He's been accused of various forms of misconduct by a bipartisan coalition of five different women, ranging from alleged sexual assault to an alleged 13-year extramarital affair, somehow managing to make Newt Gingrich look like a family man in the process.

On Thursday night, Cain told Sean Hannity that he would decide whether or not to quit the race by Monday. On Friday, he decided the timing was perfect to launch a new website, "Women for Herman Cain." This is the logo:

What is this I don't even.What is this I don't even.If that seems like some sort of stock image, it's because it is. Here's the exact same shot in an ad for a South African sugar company ("pure sweetness," I'm told, was a rejected Cain campaign slogan). Here are those four women, in a photo titled "four happy young women with many colorful balloons." Here are those four same women, with balloons, but without birthday presents:

Courtesy of ShutterstockCourtesy of ShutterstockThe fact that these women can summon such enthusiasm for multicollored balloons sort of puts their energetic support for Cain in perspective.

Wed Mar. 30, 2016 9:57 PM EDT
Thu Mar. 24, 2016 4:32 PM EDT
Fri Mar. 18, 2016 4:28 PM EDT
Wed Feb. 17, 2016 5:12 PM EST