Perhaps the stress of putting out a new issue is getting to them, but everyone around the Mother Jones offices has been e-mailing each other cheesy corporate theme songs today. You're all kooks! Some of these are more well-known than others, but it seems a shame not to share them with you, dear Riff readers.
First up, the saga of Nixon Peabody. Once there was a law firm who thought celebrating some good press with a specially-commissioned tune was a great idea, and I guess you know the rest:
Style: '80s soul played by a wedding band
Great line: "There's no disputin'/The folks at Fortune Magazine agree!"
Next, feel the power of KPMG. Their theme song, "Vision of Global Strategy" got a blogger in trouble when he linked to it, back in 2001.
Listen here. Style: Japanese ballad
Great line: "We'll be number one, with effort and fun!"
This isn't really a corporate theme song, but I remember it as one of the first "Internet memes," back in the early days of this awesomely entertaining series of tubes. Steve Ballmer of Microsoft was filmed at a developers conference, chanting, well, "developers," over and over, and after it was circulated, people began making their own remixes and mashups. Check out the techno mix:
Style: The Prodigy
Great line: when he says "developers" the 293rd time
Don't forget Price Waterhouse Coopers, who burst onto the corporate theme song scene back in 2001 with their hands-in-the-air anthem, "Your World, Our People."
Listen here Style: What was that Kenny Rogers/Sheena Easton duet?
Great line: "We don't sell no dogma/All we've got is skill"
Finally, of course, late last year, a Bank of America employee was aiming for a raise and put together a little ditty about B of A's merger with MBNA, set to the tune of U2's "One." It's so excruciating, I've never actually sat through the entire thing; if you ever want me to stop being a criminal, clamp my eyes open Clockwork Orange-style and force me to watch this over and over, I'll be a real horrowshow chelovek.
Style: Bono gone bad
Great line: "We've got Bank One on the run/What's in your wallet, it's not Capital One"
Don't forget the level this came to: in November, comedian David Cross covered "One Bank," with Johnny Marr, formerly of the Smiths, before a Modest Mouse show in New York City.
Corporate anthem websites seem to come and go rather quickly as their hosts get hit with ceast-and-desist orders. Hopefully these fine companies have all found their sense of humor by now, ha-ha. Commenters, any other corporate themes out there make you want to abolish capitalism? Or any ideas for a Mother Jones theme song?
Momentum seemed to be building in Kanye's favor over the last few weeks in this, the great hip-hop battle of the millenium, but now we have actual statistics to back it up (albeit a pretty small sample from a completely unknown source). HHNLive.com is reporting today's sales figures at all Best Buy stores in the US show Graduation selling 42,438 copies as of 4pm EST; CURTIS has sold 32,640. Not bad.
iTunes has reflected these numbers as well, with pre-orders for Graduation outselling CURTIS all week. Currently, Graduation is lodged at #1 and #4 (the latter being a deluxe edition) with CURTIS at #5; similarly, on iTunes' singles charts, West's "Stronger" is at #1, with 50 Cent's "AYO Technology" at #5.
I first met Anita Roddick at a meeting of the Social Venture Network in the fall of 1991. I say "met," more accurately: I encountered a human thrill ride. I was a newbie at that early gathering of progressive-minded entrepreneurs and, progressive though they were, they were also clubby, and the skepticism about whether nonprofit (and "radical!") Mother Jones belonged in this business club was palpable. I girded myself for some power networking.
Anita, unquestionably the queen of the social venture movement, was standing behind a little table for The Body Shop at the "Product Expo," and I approached to introduce myself. I was still several steps away when she spotted Mother Jones on my name tag and pounced. "Mother Jones! That's the most bloody brilliant magazine!! It's an inspiration! Tell me what you're doing here."
Profane charm, infectious enthusiasm, straight to the heartin a few seconds Anita had given the new kid on the block instant credibility. It was just the beginning of her generosity to me and to Mother Jones. Anita's wear-it-on-her-sleeve enthusiasm was one part of her effectiveness as a businesswoman and activistit was hard to resist her energy, not that it would be smart to try.
Her commitment to the causes she cared about ran deep, and a few years and several rollicking collaborations later, she joined the board of Mother Jones' nonprofit parent. There are lots of stories from her years as part of the Mother Jones famly, and in the next few days, I'll share some as part of our tribute to her. Anita's (and husband Gordon's) generosity, connections, and business smarts have helped MoJo through more ups and downs than the Cyclone. In that, we're not alonetoday there are dozens of causes acknowledging the significance of the Roddicks' supportbut we owe her a special debt. And we intend to pay it back in the only way that she would care aboutwith "bloody-brilliant," kick-ass journalism.
I know that release dates don't mean much these days, what with you kids and your intertubes and bittorrents. But today's a big day for new albums, even if we ignore the 50 Cent/Kanye West/Kenny Chesney showcase showdown. Here's some of the CDs or MP3 collections you can now legally acquire in the United States (listed in order of my personal priorities) as well as representative excerpts from a couple reviews.
Simian Mobile Disco - Attack Decay Sustain Release
"Mercifully brief" - Stylus
"Exciting" - Village Voice
The Go! Team - Proof of Youth
"Brisk" - Billboard
"Brash" - BBC
Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam
"Utopian" - Pitchfork
"Hallucinatory" - NY Times
Wiley - Playtime is Over
"Thrilling" - BBC
"Intricate" - Pitchfork
Film School - Hideout
"Wonderfully off-kilter" - NME
"Moody" - Spin
Hot Hot Heat - Happiness Ltd
"Soaring" - Canadian Press
"Expansive" - Entertainment Weekly
I love comparing what goes in the American editions of the newsweeklies to what goes in the international editions.
In the American edition of Newsweek this week, there is a Hillary Clinton cover story described thusly on TAPPED: "This piece is a long, tepid regurgitation of Clinton's career with little new insight."
On the cover of the international edition, a story called "Legal in Unlikely Places: Now mature in the west, gay power is growing worldwide, even in the land of machismo." The story isn't in the American edition at all.
I'll let TAPPED provide the final analysis:
Seems that both social and legal acceptance of homosexuality is rapidly increasing in some unexpected parts of the world. South Africa legalized civil unions in November 2006, making them the first developing nation to do so, and former Catholic strongholds like Latin America are also warming to civil unions. They've been legalized in Mexico City and Buenos Aires, and in Colombia, a bill is working its way through the National Congress that would grant full rights to health insurance, inheritance and social-security benefits to gay and lesbian couples.
Money quote: "The Catholic Church was facing a credibility crisis," says [a] longtime Mexico City-based gay-rights activist... "So many of its leaders... knew that if they fiercely opposed the gay-union law, the news media would eat them alive."
Unlike in the U.S., where ... this article doesn't even appear in Newsweek.
The White Stripeshave canceled their appearance at Austin City Limits on Friday, citing a "nervous breakdown" on the part of drummer Meg White. Aren't publicists just supposed to call this "exhaustion"?
Rapper Ja Rulereacts to the upcoming congressional hearings on offensive lyrics in hip-hop by encouraging everyone to look at the real problem: gays on MTV. He tells Complex.com "let's talk about all these f***ing shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can't watch this s***. Dating shows that's showing two guys or two girls in mid afternoon. If that's not f***ing up America, I don't know what is."
Keyboardist Joe Zawinul, who played with Miles Davis and in his own band Weather Report, died today in his hometown of Vienna. Zawinul was voted "best keyboardist" 30 times by Down Beat magazine. He was 75.
On the sixth anniversary of the September 11th attacks, Grist has an interesting post about Manhattan's financial district. The community's struggle to rebound has given rise to something the area hasn't seen in a long time: a residential neighborhood.
The Twin Towers were not a good addition to the financial district from a livability point of view; one of the main goals of the reconstruction there has been to "recreate the grid"; that is, the various smaller blocks that used to be there, the kind that make up the vibrant street life that Jane Jacobs first discussed in her classic book, The Death and Life of Great American Cities.
Grist's Jon Rynn points out that this project probably wouldn't have been possible without billions of dollars in federal aid. But now that the ball is rolling the community is beginning to take care of itself.
Wouldn't it be nice if the same thing happened in other places?
Hmmm... Maybe it's not so bad to drink Dr. Pepper after all. A recent Cornell University study has found that nearly half of deaths worldwide are caused or exacerbated by environmental pollution, including water pollution.
David Pimentel, the Cornell professor of ecology and evolutionary biology who conducted the research, links 62 million deaths each year to organic or chemical pollutants, placing these factors alongside long-known killers such as heart disease.
Increasing rates of Malaria, E. coli, Salmonella, AIDS, and Tuberculosis all are linked to environmental degradation, according to Pimentel. "In the United States alone, 76,000 people are in the hospital each year, with 5,000 deaths, just due to pollution of air, food, or water," he said. "Cancers are increasing in the U.S., and AIDS is on the rise."
When I learned that most free fruit for schoolchildren in the U.K. contains residue from pesticides, I didn't know quite how to react. I mean, pesticides in food is always bad news for sure. Yet I can't help but think that free fruit for kids is a pretty good idea (and one that we haven't managed to pull off in the U.S.).
Then again, maybe I'm wrong. From a Child Health Newsarticle on the topic:
Critics say the scheme was always unlikely to work because making fruit and vegetables available at school break time has no place in a culture in which healthy food is considered 'uncool' and they say stories abound of children forlornly wandering around the school playground with a bucket of fruit, trying to dispose of it.
Conclusion: Even if the free fruit were organic, it would still need some serious PR work.
Hey, did anyone hear about this thing? I don't remember it getting much coverage. Back in 2004, I guess one of Michael Jackson's sisters and a Mouseketeer were at the World Series and did a whole song and dance routine where their clothes exploded? It sounds awesome. Honestly, why doesn't the media report on this stuff? It's all "blah blah, indepth reporting on the war and our government's lies." Yawn. Well, apparently this "wardrobe malfunction" is still working its way through our nation's court system: today, the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Philadelphia will hear the case of the exposed bazonga.
The FCC originally fined CBS $550,000 for the incident, which, if upheld, would be the largest fine ever against a television broadcaster. CBS appealed, saying that they "did not plan the sole part of the performance the FCC says made it indecent, the 'costume reveal'." Right. It seemed like an, er, open-and-shut case, but these days, the FCC's indecency standards are coming under increasing attack, reports Reuters: two courts in New York have rejected the government's policies on indecent speech, specifically, "fleeting expletives." Now there's a good name for a band.
While the issues work through the courts, the FCC has sat on its hands, or maybe everybody's just watching their mouths: there have been no proposals of fines since March of 2006. You're telling me we could have been ripping each other's clothes off on TV for the last 18 months? Fleeting expletive!