Media Bias Explained....Finally

| Wed Oct. 29, 2008 1:33 PM EDT

MEDIA BIAS EXPLAINED....FINALLY....You may have noticed that conservatives have gone absolutely ga-ga over the idea that the media has been not just biased against them during this campaign cycle, but virtually bought-and-paid-for chattel of the Obama '08 campaign. "The national media has become a feminized, electronic vote-for-Obama nagging machine," says Dan Perrin. "Will the Obamedia cover that?" sneers Andy McCarthy about the cost of Obama's plane trip to visit his dying grandmother. (Seriously.) "Michael S. Malone at ABC beautifully, if tragically, with shame, reports on the 'get-a-room' performance of the national media in this presidential election year," says Jules Crittendon.

Michael Malone? The right-wing tech writer? Yep. Malone, it turns out, has the usual litany of complaints: Why isn't the press interviewing Obama's drug dealer? Why aren't they staking out Bill Ayers' home? What's up with Joe the Plumber? Etc. Kinda tedious. But if you make it to the end, there's comedy gold when he finally explains why the media is so in the tank for Obama. The reason, it turns out, is because the press is run by a bunch of fifty-somethings working in a dying industry:

In other words, you are facing career catastrophe — and desperate times call for desperate measures. Even if you have to risk everything on a single Hail Mary play. Even if you have to compromise the principles that got you here. After all, newspapers and network news are doomed anyway — all that counts is keeping them on life support until you can retire.

And then the opportunity presents itself — an attractive young candidate whose politics likely matches yours, but more important, he offers the prospect of a transformed Washington with the power to fix everything that has gone wrong in your career.

With luck, this monolithic, single-party government will crush the alternative media via a revived fairness doctrine, re-invigorate unions by getting rid of secret votes, and just maybe be beholden to people like you in the traditional media for getting it there.

That's the answer! It's not reporters who are the real problem, it's a cabal of middle age editors who are desperately trying to elect a president who will pay them back for their support by destroying blogs and rejuvenating the Newspaper Guild. Seriously. That's his theory. And, of course, it was worth a link from Instapundit.

But the big question is: how did he find out? Who leaked? Whoever it is, we need to find the bastard and make him pay. This could ruin everything.