I love me a good hockey rivalry, and the extreme skiing and boarding events are a thrill. The grace of the short-track speed skaters as they move in unison is transfixing, and the figure skating is filled with drama and pomp. But growing up in Wisconsin as I did, I couldn't help but notice how the International Olympic Committee has overlooked some of our most beloved winter pastimes. So here are five, er, sports that some of us Midwesterners and New Englanders might like to see in the 2018 games.
1. Jack jumping (Europeans call it skibock. Weirdos.)
2. Skeeching (I messed up my knee doing this behind a school bus in middle school. Please don't tell my son.)
3. Freeze-Your-Ass-Off Swimming (Russia may have us beat in this event.)
4. Chucking Snowballs at Cars (followed by frenzied, unplanned neighborhood run.)
5. Team Ice Fishing (Bonus: Good eatin'!)