Mixed Media

Weird Al's "Blurred Lines" Parody Song About Grammar Is Pretty Great

| Wed Jul. 16, 2014 11:51 AM EDT

You know the song "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke? It's really catchy and you hear it on the radio and you get it stuck in your head and you hum it and bob your head back and forth a bit but then you listen to the lyrics a little closer and you realize it's maybe about date rape and you get disgusted with yourself and you find the nearest mirror and point your finger in your face and think, "Stop it! Get this date rape anthem out of your head!" but the beat is catchy and you can't just exorcise it immediately so you run desperately in search of another catchy song to take its place and you're poring over Spotify and flipping through old NOW CDs and what was that stupid song from the '90s that you used to get stuck in your head all the time? "Chumbawumba"? So, you listen to "Chumbawumba" and it works—ta-da! "Blurred Lines" be gone!—but now you're going around singing "He drinks a whiskey drink/He drinks a vodka drink/He drinks a lager drink/He drinks a cider drink/He sings the songs that remind him of the good times/He sings the songs that remind him of the better times" all week and no one likes you because you won't stop singing "Chumbawumba" and you lose your friends and you lose your family and you lose your job but you just keep on singing "I get knocked down but I get up again/You're never gonna keep me down" right up until the time you get knocked down and in fact don't get up and are kept down and die alone in a ditch…all because you listened to "Blurred Lines."

Well, Weird Al Yankovic has a new parody of "Blurred Lines" called "Word Crimes" which is just as catchy but about grammar instead of date rape. So, lean back, relax, and let this impressive parody get stuck in your head.

(via Gawker)

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The Billionaire Who Wants to Split California Into 6 States Has the Most Embarrassing YouTube Feed Ever

| Tue Jul. 15, 2014 2:31 PM EDT

This is a post about Tim Draper. Tim Draper is a billionaire tech investor of no particular importance who has decided that he wants to disrupt geography. 

Draper is the man behind the "Six Californias" initiative, which today announced that it had secured enough signatures to put a measure on the 2016 California ballot that would split the Golden State in to six golden states. Should California be turned into six states? Maybe! I don't know. Probably not. It probably doesn't make any sense. But maybe it does? Who knows! It isn't going to be turned into six states, that is certain, but should it in a perfect world of perfection where Tim Draper rides around on a golden steed shooting piercing laser beams of logic out of his eyes? Maybe! Leave that question to the poets, because we're here to talk about Tim Draper, "the riskmaster."

Tim Draper is a partner in the VC firm Draper Fisher Jurvetson, which has invested in Hotmail, Skype, SpaceX, and a bunch of other tech companies. Silicon Valley has a well-known women problem. Tim Draper does not have a women problem, though! He loves ladies in tech! Can't get enough of them! He loves them so much that he uploaded a video to YouTube aptly titled "Tim Draper Shows His Appreciation for Women Entrepreneurs" in which he removes one piece of clothing for every female-led company he has invested in. Because if you're Tim Draper, the way you relate to women is through the language of erotic dance. (Spoiler: He hasn't funded enough female-led companies to get naked.)

Moving swiftly on, here is a video of Tim Draper wrapping up a keynote speech with a song about, well, how he, Tim Draper, is the "riskmaster." What is the riskmaster? The riskmaster is the name Tim Draper calls himself. Over and over. This song is one of the worst things I have ever heard in my entire life. I cannot stop listening to it.

The chorus appears to be:

He's the riskmaster.
Lives fast, and drives faster.
Skates on the edge of disaster.
He is the riskmaster.

How many Grammys will Tim Draper win? One? Three? Six? Zero? Probably zero.

But, Tim Draper, you do you! You have a better chance of winning six Grammys than you do of splitting California into six states.

(h/t Tim Carmody)

Happy Birthday, Twitter! Here Are 50 Things the Media Says You've Revolutionized.

| Tue Jul. 15, 2014 11:03 AM EDT

In Defense Of Selfies: Rembrandt

| Tue Jul. 15, 2014 10:16 AM EDT

Millennials get a lot of heat for the whole "selfie" thing. But what is a selfie? Most of the time the term refers to people taking photos of themselves—arms outstretched—with their phones. But the phone part really isn't important. I think most good people can agree that a selfie is any picture you take of yourself. But what if you put a camera on a tripod and use a timer? is that a selfie? I would venture, yes. What if we dispense with the camera entirely and talk straight self-portraits?

The truth is the selfie has a noble heritage in high art. Take Rembrandt for instance, who was born July 15, 1606. One of the greatest artists of all time, Rembrandt completed more than 60 self-portraits. (You can check out many of them and more of Rembrandt's works here.)

So anyway, the next time some stick in the mud tells you that selfies are what's wrong with America just be all, "What about Rembrandt, man? What about Rembrandt?" Then float away up into the clouds.

Have a nice day.

The Sad, Danceable Pop Songs of Bleachers' Jack Antonoff

| Mon Jul. 14, 2014 4:29 PM EDT

You might not have heard of Jack Antonoff, the mastermind of the indie-pop project, Bleachers, but he's definitely made you dance. The 30-year-old, best known as the lead guitarist of Fun (and Lena Dunham's boo) has co-written a number of addictive hits, including Fun's Grammy-winning "We Are Young" and Sara Bareilles' "Brave." Now he's turning his attention to his solo project, Bleachers, with the aim of making you dance and cry at the same time. "I lost my sister when I was 18, and I felt it was the monumental thing that happened in my life," Antonoff told me. "Now I'm 30, I write from that time, in the perspective of how it's affected me now." He tries to "find ways to move about the world and not feel broken all the time."

Antonoff says he wrote Strange Desire—his new album out this week—while driving alone at night, up and down the New Jersey Turnpike. His listeners, he believes, are excited when they get to hear, "more intense concepts than what might be going in the radio." On that note, he takes pains to attend to his fans. He announced the album through a Craigslist ad, asking people to do their own remixes of one of the singles. He later unveiled the album art by delivering it on a chocolate birthday cake to a group of fans. "What fanbases don't need is another obnoxious hash-tag campaign," he jokes.

On the surface, Strange Desire is a dance-party album, but it's the kind of party you're having alone, in your room, after everyone has gone home and your crush is making out with someone else. On the song "I Wanna Get Better," Antonoff sings, "Standing on the overpass screaming at cars / Hey, I wanna get better!" My favorite track is "Rollercoaster," a love song soaked in regret.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that Antonoff likes Swedish pop star Robyn, of "Dancing on My Own" fame. More generally, he's a fan of songs that feel "epic and larger than life" while also making "you want to curl up and die." (He cites Bruce Springsteen, ABBA, Tom Waits, and Neil Young as artists who can fall into that category.) His album title, Antonoff says, comes from the feeling that he's "motivated by a strange desire. It pushes you, it fulfills you in a strange way. But it kind of kills you at the same time."

This Video of a Sudden Freak Hail Storm at the Beach Is Insane

| Mon Jul. 14, 2014 9:11 AM EDT

This video was reportedly taken at a beach in Siberia Saturday. It is terrifying.

Imagine just being at the beach, enjoying your weekend, when all of a sudden IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

(via Digg)

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Germany Just Won the World Cup—and Celebrated With This Epic Selfie

| Sun Jul. 13, 2014 7:11 PM EDT

Just after beating Argentina 1-0 in the final game of the 2014 World Cup, Germany's Lukas Podolski and Bastian Schweinsteiger snapped one the most epic selfies ever.

 

 

Here Is a Video Of a Crane Destroying a Truck

| Sat Jul. 12, 2014 12:37 PM EDT

So, as the Daily Dot points out, this video is almost certainly staged, but who cares? It's nuts.

 

This Is How HBO Makes the World of "Game Of Thrones" So Spectacularly Real

| Fri Jul. 11, 2014 12:42 PM EDT

Season four of "Game of Thrones" is up for 19 awards at the 66th Emmys, including Outstanding Special and Visual Effects. This recently released video shows how HBO's visual effects wizards—led by VE Supervisors Joe Bauer and Joern Grosshans—make George R.R. Martin's books not only come alive but truly jump out of the screen.

Watch: