Tucker Carlson On Dancing With the Stars

—By

| Tue Aug. 15, 2006 8:49 AM PDT

Define "stars."

Can you do a grand jeté over a shark? Because I'd sure like to see Jerry Springer (who's also signed up for a turn on DWTS) try. (Though, in fairness, Springer is shelling out to defeat Ohio's Kenneth Blackwell, a cause for which we are perhaps willing to forgive all past and present assaults against taste.)

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