My Only Comment on Handshake-gate
This guy says it all.
Actually, I think it would be cool if we had a nationwide election to choose the perfect spouse for Flava Flav. We could have caucuses and primaries across the land to choose the two top contenders, and then have a nationwide popular vote via text message to select the winner. That's how we're going to select presidents in 2020 anyway.
Or, if you are a brown person, the chip installed in your brain by President Giuliani will automatically know who you want to vote for.