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When and Where We Enter, Male Chauvinist Pigs Follow: Is 'Purdah' the Answer to Male Privilege?
Or does it simply justify assaulting any woman who rejects seclusion?
If you're a woman and have spent any time in urban centers (i.e. lots of walking and public transportation) you know whereof you speak when it comes to street harassment. It is a measure of how entrenched male privilege is that men can sit down to dinner with a house full of female loved ones without having to know that someone masturbated onto her coat that day or whispered disgusting things in her ear. It's so pervasive, so dismissed—boys will be boys, heh, heh—it goes unmentioned and unredressed.
This explains why nearly naked, hysterical women got turned away by uniformed cops during the 2000 Central Park wilding and why the police will do little about street harassment that stays this side of bloodshed. I shudder for the day my 4 year old baby has to walk the streets alone. She happens to be gorgeous, much better looking than your daughters, but all that matters is that she's female. In fact, God help the ugly, fat or disfigured ones; they catch pure, unadulterated hell for daring to walk around being unasthetically pleasing to Joe Bob with his beer belly and no job or Joe Corporate with his comb-over and pointless Dunder Mifflin gig. I once spent four months profiling a prison inmate and being escorted to and from, like all visitors, by trustees at the minimum security facility. I swear to God, those guys spent the entire time (profil-ee included) hitting on me speed-date-from-hell style, with all the finesse of Lothar of The Hill People. THEY WERE IN PRISON but still felt totally free to harass me. Think I'm overreacting to the supposed prevelance of male privilege? Check this lede for the piece linked to (below) on female-only trains in Japan:
Since Japan is a very small country with too many people inhabiting it, Japanese women often suffer from sexual harassment in public transport.
Anyone out there take Logic for Dummies? Male Privilege 101?
Society's attitude toward street harassment is like its to heat and high humidity except that that's no one's fault and no one calls you a feminazi for objecting to them. The only good thing I find about winter is the big, baggy coat I can disappear into for a blessed few months each year and largely escape the dreaded male gaze. Because that's the kind of cowards street harassers are; they'll threaten you with rape on an anonymous bus or street corner, not so much in the middle of the office where they just might be held accountable. But what to do about it? Screen a billion cops to find one million who take street harassment seriously? Get men to actually 'see' street harassment when it happens one bus seat over and STAND UP? Nah, better to just hide women behind either a veil (too medieval, too barbarian) or with separate but equal segregation (just right!).
Jessica Valenti, guest blogging at The Nation, takes a look at one nation's answer to public male harassment, which is much like Japan's:
Last week Mexico City unveiled women-only buses as a way to battle the increasing sexual harassment on public transportation.
Some men treat women so badly that the subway system has long had ladies-only cars during rush hour, with police segregating the sexes on the platforms.
But that hasn't helped women forced to rely on packed buses, by far the city's most-used form of public transportation—until this week.
Acting on complaints from women's groups, the city rolled out "ladies only" buses, complete with pink signs in the windshields to wave off the men.
Pink signs, huh? I'm all for safe spaces for women, but is segregation really an answer to sexism? I've written about this trend of women-only spaces before, most recently for The Guardian, and I still fail to see how this is anything but a temporary solution to a systemic problem.
I'm not about to demand that women refuse to board segregated public transportation. I'd willingly add an extra hour to my day to be able to read, or God forbid close my eyes, without some Neanderthal invading my personal space oozing "whatchou readin,' baby?" Then, "Bitch, you better answer me!" I am about to say, though, that there's no way Mexico, Japan or anyplace else on this planet has enough purdah transportation for all it's women and woe betide the ones of us who either don't know about or can't manage to snag some chicks-only transpo that day; open season. She was asking for it, otherwise she'd have taken the vagina train.
Man, this topic gets my goat. I've written bitterly about street harassment, perhaps the world's most frequent unredressed social ill, for all the good it did. Here's a good street harassment resource, especially from a feminist legal perspective and, last but far from least, the totally awesome Holla Back NYC in which the pigs are called out and as humiliated as our puny societal give-a-damn-reflex will allow.
Were I an irresponsible journalist, I'd recommend that the women of the world learn the gentle art of the stun gun. If no one "sees" a horde of loud drunks stalking you, surely they won't see them suddenly crumple to the ground in agony either. But I'm a responsible journalist and several states outlaw stun guns. They also outlaw assault, i.e street harassment. Let's find out which you're likeliest to get away with.
Or, women could take another page from Japan. Don't worry, it won't reflect on men (our cities are just too overcrowded!), just highlight your determination to "take responsibility for your own actions". Just as men are required to do, right?
Debbie, Black boys are just like this. You are so insensitive to their history, their ancestors were slaves. How dare you attack the Black man. You do not know what its like to grow up as a Black man in a racist society. You are such an oreo.
Many of the points made here are perfectly justified. However, the perception that men, and their impulses must be regulated, while female impulses must be unquestioned is a bit hipocritical. We are all aware that there are many fundamental differences between the sexes, and that not nearly all of them are complimentary. Buried deep in our genetics are traits that are no longer desireable (particularly socially). Physical acts are certainly something that must be controlled, and men are generally physical creatures, but the simple fact that something offends, or is unpleasant does not qualify it as assault. Lewd comments are offensive, but not fundamentally damaging, no more than a woman who harshly rejects a man's advances. Both are unnecessary and hurtful, but par for the course in any society. To view inherently male behavior as being hostile to women, and therefore part of the same behavioral set as truly vicious and violent behavior, is to refuse nature. The only way to ensure that no man will offend any woman is to prevent the interaction of the sexes socially. There will always be need for improvement in society, but we all take risks in seeking our paths. Bitterness, and anger are the surest way to prevent progress, and make an enemy where an ally could be had. On the flip side of things, I have known many women who have been abusive to the men in their lives, and possess a genuine disgust toward maleness, but I do not project this perception onto half the human population simply because it would be easier. On a side note, I found it interesting that sucha progressive mind would even joke about the use of a stun gun to counter impolite behavior. Having just returned from a year in Baghdad as a machine gunner, I have learned some very real lessons about violence, and the people who advocate it. Hate is what motivates violence, and stereotypical hate (which is demonstrated by the expression of the desire to do bodily harm to a person guilty of mere rudeness) leads only to the violent backlash of the party being attacked. While I have never used the term "feminazi" the militant, and deriding tone of this article does suggest a somewhat unreasonable individual. I am a man who loves women, but I am still seen as equivelent to the worst of my gender by many women because of these kinds of perception. To clarify any misunderstanding, I do not advocate the subjugation of women in any manner, and have corrected my male friends behavior on many occasions (none of whom I would accuse of true disrespect, just momentary stupidity).
Several thousand years of selectively breeding out The Strong Woman, and retaining the docile, submissive "chattel" has taken it's toll. Still, the river runs deep. SHE,HER,still survives. It is horrifying to some males, that they are helpless at birth. Totally dependent upon the Mother. That he suckled for food nourishment.His need for cleansing,warmth and care, is provided by her. The fact that he comes from HER womb is very troubling to him. This is a symptom of patriarchy.But it is changing.
Hey,
Is she railing aginst FREEE SPEECH..? ahahaha... I have daughters and they have NEVER been spoken to in that manner.. !!! My oldest would hit the guy in the balls, and then smack her own FACE and call 911.. the man would be ARRESTED for assault..!! hahaha... I have taught my daughters well.. This country has gone sooo far the other way in giving the woman the power,,, refer to my comment about girl hitting self and getting man arrested after assaulting HER..!!!
Billl
first, to all the "realwomen"taking care of your family and actually having a role beyond "consumer" i thank you! and you can stop reading becausemy comments ot not pertain to you...you get it.
for the rest of you WHEN DOES IT STOP?! ohh i know when you'll be satisfied. when you can speak to those same men the way they speak to you. after all your argument is that we can and you can't...again nothing more than your foolish fully manipulated ego! and false assumptions about your own self importance and place in society.
in terms of "speaking bad to you on the train" dont be rediculous. as men weactually have physical fisticuffs that you avoid because you are a woman. anyone in any urban environment is going ot have unpleasant encounters....move to the country!
the fact is that women are abusers also and often get away with things men dont. For instance if i am speaking with my female associate and she thinks what i said was fresh and hits my arm? i would never think of doing that to her. even if it is play that's the point...YOU SO CALLED INDEPENDANT WOMEN ARE PLAYING!
you are like children in this was because you don;t have accountability in society as reflected by your actions and the media. look at discrepencies between male female criminals. if they let you be accountable ((and i wish they would)) you would want to be back in the home with family.
but the fact is it's through your own abandonment of your social role ((alon with other contributing factors)) that a man hearing you being harassed will say and do nothing to assist you.
before i share my comments i'll justify them by saying,"look around you ladies". what is your divorce rate? how many of you actually have a good man? how many have the father of their children with them married or no?
how many of you are supported by an absentee man and raising HIS child with a new piece of meat you picked up somewhere? ((60%))
to the author of this article and all of the "independant" ((consumers)) women" please....read on!
what i find fascinatingly absurd about the short sightedness of your article is that you give women 0% accountability in regards to this issue.
since womens "liberation" in it's contemprary form was spurned on in the 1960's (free love, which by the way takes two) by in essence lesbians and conservative operatives, women in this country have the keys to the kingdom.
not only do you have equal everything but you also have something men do not.....the excuse of being a woman when it comes to accountability. the fact that laws particularly family court laws are biased is no accident.
you see no matter how much you don't like it "this is a mans world" and accordingly meen men designed the post 1965 system to collapse on you. divorce only suits wealthy men. everyone else it destroys. you fell for it hook, line,and sinker! why? because you wanted some new shoes {8-o
until then you were honored and cherished in our country so much so you did not have to open your own car door, no matter what hazy memory your liberal advisor has and books of that era you read, until the "sexual revolution" at which point you turned yourself into a piece of meat!
instead of binding to your families ((particularly "american women"..((someone wrote a song about it, i think it sold allot of copies)) you kinda bounced off to the club.
instead of standing by your man, once divorce became accepted ((media)) you took his house, car, and bank account. many of the divorces today for short marriages are absurd in terms of the unfair treatment of men.
resposible you are yes but that's where it ends because you are not accountable. and i suspect the reason is your precious((suspicous)) "independance" ((consumerism)).
the fact is that the Government becomes daddy in the absence of the male....look at welfare from 1970-1999. the one rule "no man"! ohh that's done some good for the community! see no matter how you slice it society will find it's own level one way or another. your child if not given a sense of belonging in the right circles will join a gang and whatever, why? because instictively they need to belong. that's why so many women are confused in my opinion because they do not belong.
and when you do not belong the wolfspick you out...it's called reality! so, keep taking your crunch kickboxing calsses.
what you are "independant" from is pretty much a mystery since you forsook your families..your men..and went shopping. in fact look at the image which you have been turned into in the media. pathetic!
the fact is the weak selfish women of our society allowed the social engineers to turn them into work slaves. i mean think about it...two taxes, two cell phones, two cars, two rents. don't take my word for it what does every commercial you see tell you?
you have abandoned your men ((and children=family) at the first sight of not needing them to lift, build, fight, earn for the family. it's sad because the day is coming when you will again as you do everyday.
so, lay in your bed and accept that you created this mess! my beloved wife who will inheriet my assets, enjoys the priveledges of our marriage, and who i adore is from the Philippines. SHE IS AWESOME!
you american women and others who consider yourself sophisticated with your meaningless gig, really should be grateful american men even look and much less deal with you!
with the influx of "real women" from other countries particularly southeast asia, asia, south america, you uncouth as mr imus would say Hoes, best to get it together lest you end up all spensters.
hey you wanted it, you got it, deal with it, or change your ways and show some honor....your mother did. once you start behaving in a digified fashion, others might show you some respect, particularly men.
until then think about your life and what you are doing to change the social attitudes. i believe talking about it such the rant the author made in this posted article is a start.
but, if you want men to take you seriously, be accountable and start the change with yourself as that's where it started 8-)
thank you ladies. and please grow up!
I can tell by the above diatribe that the writer is extremely insecure about his masculinity. And since he is so insecure, he needs a woman who will never correct him, never challenge his hillbilly ideals and will have to constantly stroke his tiny, tiny ego. Of course he has to get a woman from overseas, no American woman would put up with his crap. No American woman in her right mind would live with his backwoods mentality and condescension. He's threatened by American women because he's losing power over them. He's no longer thought of as the wonderful, all-knowing male that his parents raised him to think he was. He's not the center of attention that he thinks he should be. Women in this country have awakened. We see men like that for what they are...ignorant and sadly losing their grip on reality. By the way , try using spell check, your rants may have more credibility.
listening to the males rant incoherently (i am a MAN) with such hatred kind of makes the writers point. and guess what anderson. assualt of females did not begin in 1960.{8-o you give guys a bad name. I was not offended by the blog, but i am offended by the misogyny of the comments.
I pray that you are joking Bob. By treating black women like this, men are re-enacting the way black women were treated by their white masters, except now they are being harassed by their own race (and of course others as well).
Street harassment is a show of sexism. We are not being treated as people but as sexual objects that clearly do not belong in the public sphere and should be kept at home. Is equality that threatening? I would like to be treated with the respect I deserve.
KHC you just don't get it. How dare you talk about the Black man's experience when you yourself have not lived it.
I usually check up on the news throughout the day with the MoJones Blog and count on concise, objective updates on current events. Lately I have been coming across these pieces that read as rants or screeds or tirades against men, whites, whatever that seem to have little to do with the rest of the articles in the blog. Sure enough, every time I scan ahead to see who contributed these pieces it is the same person: Debra Dickerson. I asked my wife and as far as she knows she has never been threatened with rape on a streetcar or ejaculated on (eww! Do you identify a little too strongly with Clarice Starling after interviewing your inmate?)I can take a little bias, but she just seems to beat a point so mercilessly into the ground that I don't understand how anyone who isn't black or a woman doesn't feel alienated by her opinions. Or maybe that's her point. I don't know what she is trying to put forth half the time. I liked her on Colbert, though. Maybe MoJo could develop an Op/Ed blog to publish her writing, because it certainly doesn't belong with the rest of the general news.
Some years ago working in an extremely crowded bar on New Years Eve, 2 couples walked in the door. One of the men felt my crotch area as he walked past. He must have felt secure his companions wouldn't see (especially the female ones) and that I wouldn't be ale to put down my tray and do anything about it. He was wrong. I put my drinks tray down on a friendly table and turned around and punched him with full force in the stomach and yelled "don't touch me you filthy pervert" at the top of my voice. I then went to the effort of fetching security, finding him again and having him thrown out. I have not been felt up again in public but would definitely do exactly the same again.
Feeling a woman up in public is assault.
You need to hit out physically as hard as you can and scream the house down and demand police or security COME IMMEDIATELY and take action. It doesn't matter how crowded or busy the situation is. In fact the more crowded, the better. It's a crime and and should be turned into a massive scene.
Bob - regardless of historic experience, don't black men have the same responsibility as the rest of us to try to elevate their circumstances and not drag everyone else down in the name of "woe-is-me", with the expectation of not being held accountable? My husband, who is a black man, would never behave this way. He knows he needs to live for the future and not the past, or nothing will ever change.
Tina, do you know what an oreo is? Do you know what it is to act White? How dare you attack the Black man. You have never been down for the struggle.
Yes, Bob, it's a cookie. Great with milk. Get over yourself.
I'm not attacking anyone, and I certainly don't know anyone of any race that hasn't faced struggles. No one is saying you shouldn't recognize the past or what's going wrong now...but that recognition shouldn't be used as a crutch. It's your right to stay mired in history, to trip over it while you're getting in your own way. Enjoy that bitter taste while the rest of us go try to make this world a little better.
Debby, why you pick on Japanese men? This is racist. I know that many Asian Americans are not fond of AfroAmericans, but that is no reason to attack us. I know that you don't realize that you are a racist, that is why I point it out to you, so now you know. I hope that you will change. We forgave you for atomic bomb and radiation that kill grandma.
Wow, i have to say that this is a pretty over-the-top blog. I live in Japan and have for more than 12 years now, and i have seen the women-only trains and subway cars, and i have also seen the reasons that they are necessary. Men anywhere can be stupid sometimes, as can women. And yes, there is a certain percentage of the male population that definitely have socializing and/or impulse control problems, and they end up making asses of themselves, and the rest of us by association. But here again, the same could and SHOULD be said about a certain percentage of the female population. To excoriate all men in general for the stupidity of a few is.. rather closed minded. Or, as Micheal Jackson and his four brothers used to sing "One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch gi-------rl!"
The women only buses and trains are a governmental solution to a societal problem. And trust me, if there is more of an "old boy" society/government on earth than the one here in Japan, i can't imagine where it might be. The government here is infamous for being amazingly slow to respond to societal problems, but this particular solution was adopted fairly quickly after it was suggested. So, if the old boys here in Japan were insightful and considerate enough to recognize the problem of sexual harassment - and it is and has been a very real issue here for a long time; how about giving a little credit where credit is due? They could have very easily left all of the little, innocent, pure, weak, helpless victims of all of the lecherous, over-bearing, ignorant, beer-bellied neanderthals to their own devices, but they didn't.
And just so you know, not all men stand by and do nothing. I grabbed a guy who was masturbating in front of a group of high school girls and threw him off the train once years ago - and i have to say that was the only time that i was ever aware of anyone overtly being a pervert on a train.
We are all jerks just because we happen to be born with a different set of genitalia. One more thing: the time i threw the pervert off of the train, the people around me stared at me like i had done something wrong - and yes, that includes the women whom i thought i was "helping." No good deed goes unpunished.
Have your opinions about this issue, (which i essentially agree with - sexual harrassment is bad), and please feel free to express them. But realize that when you excoriate all men for the actions of a relative few, you add to, rather than alleviate the problem.
Sorry, that last comment should have been "We AREN'T all jerks just because we are born with a different set of genitalia." I don't want there to be any misunderstanding.
Wow! there sure are a lot of long-winded (defensive?) men responding to this wee little post.
Many Props to Rob for being a voice of reason in such a short, articulate manner.
(Bob on the other hand seems quite the loon, name calling is for the playground Bob, this is a forum for thought and discussion).
The worst type of oppression is that which is veiled. Much like racism in contemporary American society, misogyny and patriarchy are alive and well in our culture and are dominant themes in EVERYTHING....from public life to media. Discrediting the various oppressions that affect us all only reinforces their dominance.
PS. WTF Anderson? do you really think anyone cares enough to even read your insane comments?
This article is racist. It attacks Mexican men. I know that the Blacks are banging the Mexicans here in L.A., but that is no reason to say such things about Mexican gentlemen. Debra should just stick to writing about her own Black experience with Black men, which evidently has been a failure.
Hey, Bob. I don't really give a flip about what the Black Man has experienced if it means that he's allowed to treat women badly. The Black Man has been treated badly as a group for about... 400 years or so? Women have been treated badly for right around 3500.
As far as aggression and rude behavior being considered genetically inherant in men... how ignorant. That's kind of like saying that black people are genetically less intelligent and more prone to... say... poverty than white people.
People behave however they were raised to behave. And however they are allowed to behave. I think a stun gun is a fabulous idea. We can consider it a corrective measure, an extension of our genetic need to mother maybe.
Oh, and Anderson, I believe it's spelled "spinster," and if you actually believe in gender equality you should look at the statistics on child custody awarded to men (85%) when they actually show up to court. Or how about the disparity in wages between men and women in comparable jobs ($.70 to $1.00). And if being "honored and cherished" means that I'm not allowed to travel without a chaperone, have my own bank account or credit card, or own my own property, I'll go with the fighting my way around on the subway with my new stun gun option. ;)
Actually, on further reflection... Anderson does have a point. Who does our culture consider primarily responsible for the welfare and upbringing of any child? Mom. So who should we blame if little Andy or Bobby grows up to be a jerk? Maybe we, as women, do need to start bucking up and taking responsibility. We can start by not allowing our sons to witness poor behavior from men and demand that they behave in a decent manner themselves. No more of this "boys will be boys" crap that I've heard from the mothers of a few brats that I know. My little brother didn't get away with that bull, neither will my son.
As far as segregated trains, Jim Crow laws were put into place to "protect the interests" of black people in the south. It didn't work that well as it turns out. The "equal" part in "seperate but equal" didn't really live up to its promise and, as I recall from a history class, the black people didn't really like being treated differently. I can't imagine why...
Appealing to innate ways of acting is more than a little bit silly. While sex roles (not gender roles) are supported by some evolutionary psychology, they're also challenged by a lot of critical theory (including feminist theory and anthropology) which has often made the case that even sex is to a great degree constructed. Even in scientific publications bias still works its way into scientific publications (small things, like assuming that male is the norm and talking about women as being different than or derived from male norms).
Course, a lot of people don't care for critical theory, so here's a different tack: I hope anyone who justifies male or female attitudes on the grounds that they're natural is just as strictly practicing a diet high in fiber and low in grains, meat, and sodium.
"Feminist theory" is like "Biblical Creationism" in regards to Science. It is belief. No one belief is any better than another. Feminist belief oftentimes leads to "magical thinking", like the "earth goddess" and etc.
I am not going to touch the race or nationality or cultural aspects of this piece. All I want to say to ALL men is that the reason this harrassment is serious and should be taken seriously is that while 99.999% of the men who engage in this behavior are just annoying, you never know which man is that .001% who will actually follow you, drag you into an alley, and rape and kill you. Every time someone engages in this behavior it can really scare a woman who wonders if this is the time, if he is that is that guy. If all men were well mannered, women unfortunately will still be dragged into alleys, but at least they wouldn't have to be reminded of that fact every time they go out in public and live in fear. And maybe they would be more optimistic that someone like Gene (the subway hero) would intervene if they were in danger.
The answer is not to segregate women, it is for both women AND men to make it unacceptable for men to harrass, intimidate or hurt women. The man who feels that it is perfectly acceptable behavior to say "Bitch you better answer me!" to a stranger on the subway probably thinks it is perfectly acceptable behavior to go home and beat his wife/girlfriend and kids. Ignoring or excusing his unacceptable public behavior only encourages both the unacceptable public behavior and the unacceptable private behavior. Boys (of all races) will be boys as long as we allow them to be boys. Why don't we expect them to be men?
Dr. Spock, where exactly did you get your PHD?
because I have a few college degrees in feminist theory and I've never heard of this "magical thinking" or "earth goddess" you speak of.
Perhaps you should actually know something about the subject matter before you post.
Or didn't they teach you that at Star Treck U?
Bob: you are certifiable. WHERE in Dickerson's article was race even mentioned? She said NOTHING about blacks. In point of fact, your own seeming inclination to excuse black behavior on grounds of growing-up-black is inexcusable. Blacks in America have been sorely misused, true; but ultimately, everyone is responsible for their own actions. You seem to be saying that a black male upbringing MAKES a black man act out sexually in public, and he's not to blame for what he does! Talk about a victim mentality!
Riordan: try growing up female before you pan Dickerson's perceptions. You say lewd comments are not fundamentally damaging. What if you, a sensitive person, were continually defined by others, in public, from puberty, as simply a tool for their own at-large gratification? Wouldn't that be a bit "damaging" to your concept of yourself? You (perhaps unwittingly) define the behavior she complains about as "inherently male." I simply propose that no-one has taught you better. Cultures define and promote certain attitudes, and our "male" culture promotes mindless, respect-less objectification of women and their bodies. Men (you included) have no idea of the hurt they cause when they impersonally lust after women. You say bitterness and anger are counter-productive in facilitating change, but I say it TAKES bitterness and anger, to make change a real alternative.
I find it shocking and sad that so many men commenting here are minded to excuse sexual harassment as "just male behavior." I'm with rachel, that anyone on the receiving end of this should hit back as hard as she can, and make it a public issue by shaming the miscreant. There is simply no excuse. It hasn't been that long since rape itself was excused -- it was simply too hard for a man to control his mindless impulses!
Bull****! What we have here is a country (world!) full of men who have never had to come to terms with mature behavior. They get all worked up over stupid (yes, stupid) sports contests, but cannot spare a neuron for issues critical to the well-being of those they are intimate with.
Get a clue, guys. Women are fully deserving of respect in all arenas, and need it much more than you do, now that you have "hardened" yourselves against the ridicule and criticism of your fellows. Don't assume that everyone wants to be as insensitive as you've become; certainly women don't.
(Couldn't help it)
Gene: perhaps you only ever saw the one masturbator on the train, because most of them wouldn't do it when a man was watching, as well as the targeted women and girls. MOST Japanese on a train don't examine anything much beyond their blackberries or sudoku, so it may have seemed strange that you were even paying attention to another person. Most of the people watching you afterward were probably entirely unaware of anything but that you had thrown a person off the train!
Perhaps also, people looking at you afterward may not have been thinking you had done something "wrong," but were just amazed that you had done SOMETHING! Japanese would normally view any "vigilante" action as amazing in itself, whatever the motivation. You just made yourself a spectacle, is all; but it WAS the right thing to do, and don't think (if they were paying attention) that they didn't go home and blog in amazement, and post the phone video! "Creep getting his cummupance on the train!"
Finally, you frankly accuse Ms. Dickerson of excoriating ALL men for the actions of a few, when she did no such thing. You fell into the same gaping blind spot that "seeing-racism" Bob did: you personally embellished her premise into something it was not. She never attacked blacks in any measure, as Bob accused her of; nor did she accuse "all men" of acting in the ways she complained about. She simply said that it was far too prevalent, which it is.
If you do intend to comment intelligently, you could start by making sure that you are following the argument presented, and not inserting your own insecurities or biases.
What kind of negative vibes are you throwing off to invite such vile behavior from so many men? Rule of thumb, 'If I can't get along with one person, it's their problem. If I can't get along with a number of people, I have to question what it is I am doing wrong!' I've worked in Wash, D.C. and surrounding areas; sight-seen in N.Y. city; wandered around small bergs and large cities and never did I encounter the problems that you have. Of course, there is always the chance you will bump into some ill-bred moron along the way, and it doesn't matter if they are black, white, purple, or green. Color has nothing to do with a lack of class. But the one thing about morons is they have a keen sence of smell. They can smell fear. And if they think for a moment that you are afraid of them, then they will surely harrass you. Be a confident woman, respect yourself. They will sence that about you, and most likely will leave you alone. After all, the only thing you get from sitting on a pity pot is a ring around your butt! I wish you the best in your endeavors. Ang
Mortenson, you are a racist. I bet your father was in a POW camp. Don't blame me. Japanese people were put into concentration camps in California because of Americans with your mentality. You live in the past. In California now, there is no room for racists like you and Debra.
Dan,
Thanks for the advice, but i don't feel that i was "inserting my own insecurities or biases" as you put it. I read the article, and Ms. Dickerson, while she does make a very valid point, and one that i agree with, as i already stated, does come across as a little over the top in regards to her argument and her argumentative style.
For better or worse, i believe that most people who read an article similar in tone to this one would come away with a decidedly negative impression. The writer has obviously had far too many negative encounters with men, and that is the basis of her argument. However, as many negative encounters as she may have had, she does come across as being entirely too negative about men in general.
My issue with the blog isn't whether or not she excoriates all men or not. Ultimately my issue with this blog, or any similar blog, would be that it only manages to further alienate the (presumably) intended audience of neanderthals who can neither keep their hands nor their comments to themselves.
Violence begets violence, whether it be verbal or physical. Men hassling and being jerks to Ms. Dickerson have encouraged her to have violent physical tendencies (as is evidenced by her desire to stun gun them) and has also created in her a desire for revenge, as is evidenced by this blog. Now, just so that there isn't any misunderstanding, i don't disagree with either of those desires/feelings on her part.
My issue is that by merely responding in kind to an act of violence, with verbal violence of her own, she doesn't really add to the solution. Getting back to the main point of the blog - the fact that there are now separate train and subway cars as well as buses for women. The fact that they exist is a sad commentary on society in general, but, the fact that they exist is also a recognition that there is a problem and that while it won't be eradicated by separation, it may be alleviated.
I appreciate your advice, Dan, but please don't presume that i have insecurites vis-a-vis women, men, violence, sexual harrassment, or whatever. I was merely attempting to add something constructive to the conversation.
gene
as i said Velma you actualy justify all of my afforementioned, objective, experienced observations. were you not absolutely the least desireable females on the planet you might have responded instead of reactively and out of ego running off at the mouth again. Your problem is you like so many of your peers are really nothing more than children 8-) Somehow you actually believe that being obnoxious, egotistical, and self centered actually changes things. It doesn't and the proof is in your own insecurity and willful ignorance.
Rob,
i think you kinda missed the point big guy. Unfortunately, as with many of us "American" guys we just kinda sit back and take it. I'll safely assume you are sitting somewhere alone or already have found a "good woman" of American extraction. In this likely event i can understand your confusion. You have had a whole life of it reinforced by the media, education, and liekyl your community. But, this is my point brother. They don't make them here like they used to ((as my "diatribe" clearly states)) and that's why we as American Men if we are to in ernest fulfill our role ((for those interested)) in society we must speak out. Also, don't think that this very recent social development effecting the gender relationships in our country are by accident. Most importantly try to at the very least appreciate the views of others particularly regarding this VERY important issue which effects us all. My entire case here is supported with some simple google research. Specifically the number ((volumes)) of American Men opting for good women of non-american abstraction. Misery loves company that's why the spencter females here attacked! They always do that. Everyone knows that some Women are caddy and overly emotional. It's important to remember one cannot generalize. Not all Women are created equal. In my post I am clear about who my comments are directed at. Their hostile responses really does prove that misery loves company. Hey the truth hurts....deal with it 8-)
Billeen THANK YOU!
Gees,some objectivity on the issue. You get it. And mind you, I'm the first Man who will boss and toss some jerk I see harassing a woman...period! It's not about degrading and frankly the comments regarding "sex objects" is a media ((corporate consumerism)) problem...look at Maxim Magazine {8-o. I take issue with the fact that my American Woman is displayed so often int he media as a sex object. I know different and I also know that many American Black Women have been bombarded with this image of themselves to the point of indignation. And while we all have self interest in this the larger issue is "commitment" in general and more importantly to society. What's at risk is substantial...which is basicly the success of our traditional way of life in terms of marriage and family. I'm an extremely liberal guy (biracial), my Mother is a liberal Woman (white). My Wife is fully liberated too! In fact despite claims by one of my Female American friends, my wife has a career in middle management earning more than me and she is in her late 20's! Regarding the influences and children...after catching my mother during a encounter with her "boyfriend" when I was 5,she never had another relationship of which I was aware until I was 25. Based,on my experience (and while she is an absolute saint) i think it best to have a "good man" in your children's lives. You accomplish two goals; one-they learn what a good relationship between a man and woman is supposed to be like, and two- you express who you are as an awesomely good Woman and enjoy your life!
Thanks again for actually reading my post and your considerate comments 8-)
This may be somewhat off subject, but from what I've observed women love the male chauvinist of the species and loathe the "nice guy." So they really get what they want. I'm sure you heard to be careful what you wish for, well seems women wish for the typical chauvinist they can manipulate on and have that polarized sex with so why should they always be complaining?