Femimint Hygiene: Vagina Mints
I recently got a press release from the makers of Linger, an "internal feminine flavoring" that promises to keep your vagina in mint condition. Think of it as an Altoid for your lady parts or, as its website explains, "A small, naturally sweetened flavoring, free of artificial dyes, which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused." What...the...?!
So where did the idea for this curiously wrong mint come from? Linger's website (a little NSFW) offers up a wondrous, romantic tale about the supposed discoverer of femimint hygiene, an unnamed woman who was seduced in India by a man with skin "the color of caramel." He quelled her fears of tasting bad "down there" with a mysterious, Eastern mint. "When I returned to the States, I brought the tingly sweet tasting mint with me," she writes. I've requested an interview with this mysterious entrepreneur, but have yet to speak with her. However, Linger's PR guy did send me a sample—made in exotic New Jersey. But that was just my first taste of disappointment.
My tin of Linger looked a lot like one of those tins of mints that are given away at trade shows. And guess what? That's what it is. A little digging revealed that Linger is made/distributed by a company called Admints, which just happens to make trade show mints. And the Linger samples just happen to have have the exact same shape, taste, and ingredients as Admint's sample mints. So how does Linger manage to pass off breath mints as vaginal Tic Tacs in $7.99 packs? Despite the salacious creation story and testimonials on its site ("It gets a little warm as it starts to dissolve which took just under an hour. Then, it is SO good!!"), the mint is labeled "for novelty use only." This is a common practice in the sex-products industry, explains Charlie Glickman, the education program manager at Good Vibrations. It gives manufacturers some cover if something goes awry, he explains. "They could say, 'It's just a novelty toy. You weren't actually expecting to use this were you?'" And if you actually do expect to use Linger to "flavor the woman in a manner that is safe and effective," be warned: its primary ingredient is sugar, which is not safe for the vagina. It messes up the pH and can lead to a really painful yeast infection, a condition that definitely doesn't make someone want to "linger."
Horrifying
Hey Mint-makers, how about this: If you don't like the way a vagina tastes, you don't get to touch them anymore.
RE: Gnarboots
Pardon my brash question in response to your surly question, but since exactly when do they all taste and/or smell the same?
Spoof -> reality
NSFW:
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/809/Poontos.html
Dude. that is one friggin
Dude. that is one friggin nasty chick man.
Novelty Use Only....
This statement "For novelty use only" is also used because some states have laws against selling products that have sexual uses - so in Texas vibrators/dildos etc are sold as "novelties" or "gag" gifts to avoid the sexual aspect of the product.
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omg if you want some real
omg if you want some real entertainment go and read all the comments people are posting re: linger mints...but the most important question is, will the new mints be covered under Obamacare?
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What the...?
I can't believe someone made this product! Actually, I can believe and it really doesn't surprise me, but seriously when are people going to stop insinuating that pussy smells bad and/or tastes bad? As a woman that is the most annoying vagina stereotype ever! Sure, they don't all taste or smell the same, but I agree with GNARBOOTS if you don't like it you shouldn't get to touch it.
well, people will stop
well, people will stop insinuating that vaginas taste bad after people (or at least the ones with vaginas) stop eating at mcdonalds. and, lots of women are afraid of their vaginas, and they have to grow up some day and just get all into what it's like having a body part. those two would go a long way.
i, personally, am a great friend of vaginas, but the lady needs to be friends with her vagina too.
"well, people will stop
"well, people will stop insinuating that vaginas taste bad after people (or at least the ones with vaginas) stop eating at mcdonalds."
Er, except it's well-known that diet has a huge impact on the way a guy tastes, too. So I suppose nobody is ever allowed to eat junk food, not even a little, or they deserve to be alone forever. I think I prefer GNARBOOTS' suggestion -- if you hate the taste that much, piss off. I guarantee someone else would love to have a toss at it.
"if you hate the taste that
"if you hate the taste that much, piss off. I guarantee someone else would love to have a toss at it."
Not if it tastes like a pile of rotten roast beef, they won't.
c'mon, pussy tastes great! a
c'mon, pussy tastes great! a little sweet, a little sour, a little salty, a lot of naughty.
I don't see the point in
I don't see the point in changing the smell and taste of something I love, the smell is half the arousal for me.
And ladies, don't get so defensive, there are tons of guy's who feel the same way.
Uhhh, hell yeah we should
Uhhh, hell yeah we should get defensive. They are talking about our bodies here, not yours. You can support us by saying it doesn't need to change, but don't tell us not to be pissed. There is nothing wrong with our bodies.
You sound like you need a
You sound like you need a vaginamint.
Oh pshaw, what's wrong with
Oh pshaw, what's wrong with a little scented oil rubbed into one's pubic hair?
I love *shopping in foreign drug stores*...
This Grrl learns so much about what makes the locals anxious about their bodies... by prowling in foreign drugstores. Its quite enlightening. Nobody on a foreign trip is going to stand up & talk to you about what you can discover in a drugstore!
Nope, nothing you'll read about in 'Lonely Planet'...
BEST product to date?
Savannah, Georgia, 1998: ***effervescent*** vagina suppositories with 'wildflower scent'. It seemed a bit like a scented ENO...
all the better to hide the 'evidence of philandering', I suppose...
===
aside: to the dude who said, "i, personally, am a great friend of vaginas, but the lady needs to be friends with her vagina too."
I have a redheaded, Celtic-looking girlfriend in Calgary who named her black persian cat "VaGina".
Methinks, simply for the social prairie-dog'n whenever she said things like:
... etc. ...
Just saying... there is 'comfortable' & then there is my best friend's 'Little Friend'..
*grin*
Though, it should be noted that her cat is downright vicious & a bit insane... somewhat prone to skulking under furniture then silently panthering out to attach herself to your leg in aid of severing your Achilles tendon...
"You ignore my VaGina at your own peril"
==
"We, two, form a Multitude" ~ Ovid.
Not surprising.
A fine example of our hatred for women's bodies (and anything natural in general.) The natural condition of any human body, be it in regards to taste, odor, etc., and especially in a sexual context, is nothing but a natural beauty that should be experienced with wonder and awe. Here we see capitalists actually inserting fresh-scented dollar signs into women's vaginas. That's much more civilized than just letting a woman let her vagina smell or taste like what it smells or tastes like!
I'm so disappointed
I misread the title on the sidebar as "Vagina Mitts" I was expecting oven mitts with vaginas sewed on, kinda like the creepy teddy bears with detailed felt vaginas.
Your product idea is SO much
Your product idea is SO much better than "vagina mints" could ever be.
I was kind of hoping this would be something purported to taste like vagina...
Actually, as a single dad
Actually, as a single dad this will provide me a long awaited pretext to broach the subject with my 18-year old daughter. I once found a "vaginal deodorizer" or "freshener" in the shower. I can hardly see myself explaining to her that any guy that has trouble with her natural self is really missing something. When on a summer job as a student, an old blue-collar worker once said to me, "If you can't go down on yer lady when she's in her period, you don,t love her an' don't deserve her!" That sort of streched my boundaries. Today, I'm near retirement (age) and I haven't heard any complaints, except form the odd woman who has trouble accepting herself. Any industry that tries to convince my girls (I have 3) that there's something wrong with them is walking down a foul path indeed...
JPLeGrand, your girls are
JPLeGrand, your girls are very lucky to have you for a father. My hat's off to you!
Who would want to mint up
Who would want to mint up something that is already so fricken awesome? Before I married I did my share of lovin the wonderful flower. They all tasted good! The woman I married was the best, and i'd be pissed if she changed the flavor. The Creator knew what She was doin when she made it! Who are we to change that? If your guy doesn't love it the way it is then he is the wrong guy!
smell?
If there is an odor problem, go to your doctor!
Okay, I'm gonna be a bit frank here but...
Going "down there" is an acquired taste. The first few times it will not be flavorful, but the results are well worth it. Do I wish it was like pumpkin pie? Hell yeah Brother! But until then, you put on your jersey and hit the field. Hopefully some day, a chemist and a gynaecologist will get it right - but until then, just suck it up and deal.
Oh, and for those chicks who will complain about the taste of cocks, well at least you can stick it in whipped cream.
Vaginamints
My, how the times do change. I remember back in the mid-70s, when they first came out with contraceptive foams for women, the makers tiptoed around the fact that they were both scented AND flavored.
WTF?
Well, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this is just another ad campaign dreamed up by a bunch of men whose sales figures are down. Think, "Mad Men," the wildly successful television series. I don't watch it because I lived through that era and it wasn't fun. This sort of thing happened regularly: marketing products to women that were designed to improve them when the natural version wasn't good enough for men.
Clearly this is not a new product and I'd like to see the FDA look into this marketing campaign. It's obviously not a product that's safe for women to use as suggested.
My vagina is
My vagina is vagina-flavored. If you want caramel, go eat a fucking caramel.
Vagina Flavor
-- mmmmm vagina flavor.
Damn right.
Damn right.
Personally, I think hairy
Personally, I think hairy balls stink more than a woman's veeger. What do they have for smelly balls? Axe?
While I think that all the
While I think that all the male support is great, it's a little depressing that getting men to support womin is the only way to lend credibility to an argument. If it was just womin here, people would be telling us to "lighten up" or "let it go".
seriously, you're spelling
seriously, you're spelling it "womin"? stop butchering the english language for the sake of feminism. I'm a woman, and a feminist, and I'm completely fine with spelling it the correct way. then again, I also value our language much higher than most people do nowadays.
Tastes Like Boiled Okra & Hagfish
I like television. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagfish
imagine it tastes like a free nude celeb at celebsfamous.com
tagged as:- solution
http://celebsfamous.com - I bet those twats would be delicious
O the wonders of the humin body
"The natural condition of any human body, be it in regards to taste, odor, etc., and especially in a sexual context, is nothing but a natural beauty." Absolutely. My armpits after a long day of work - lovely! Let's celebrate the human body. Cuz no vagina, since the dawn of time - or any dick for that matter - has ever EVER smelled anything but wondrously godloveyjoyous. Namaste, or, in other words, grow up FFS.
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