Vote Andy Martin, Gossip Queen

| Wed Dec. 30, 2009 2:45 PM EST

Shameless slander-monger Andy Martin is having a gay old time carrying out a smear campaign against Mark Kirk, his opponent in the race to fill Sen. Roland Burris's (D-Ill.) open seat. In a new radio spot this week, Martin publicly announced that, according to several well-known Republican party members, Kirk is a (gasp!) homosexual.

From the gossips queen’s radio romp:

"Today, I am fighting for the facts about Mark Kirk. Illinois Republican leader Jack Roeser says there is a 'solid rumor that Kirk is a homosexual.' Roeser suggests that Kirk is part of a Republican Party homosexual club. Lake County Illinois Republican leader Ray True says Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals. Mark Kirk should tell Republican voters the truth."

Putting aside for a moment how fun it sounds to be part of a "Republican Party homosexual club," and the fact that being surrounded by homosexuals even qualifies as a "smear" (sounds like a typical Saturday night to me), Martin’s pouty truth-seeking could spell trouble under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. An op-ed by Morgan Hurley at San Diego Gay and Lesbian News points out that Kirk is "one of only two active drilling US Navy Reservists in Congress today," and that a potential "outing," whether or not he really even is a homosexual, could get complicated:

It clearly is not just a typical, strategic, political affront by Martin towards Kirk in the run for a US Senate seat. No way. Because with the added media attention it has already garnered, it could also easily bring to bear the professional scrutiny of one of the highest ranking military members ever, under Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT).

Another good reason to throw that backwards policy in the garbage where it belongs. Is Martin just jealous that Kirk looks good with a puppy in his arms? Quite possibly. In case you’ve forgotten about the historical adventures of this catty rumor peddler, Martin also filed the very first lawsuit regarding Obama’s birth certificate, and was criticized by the press for originating rumors that Obama was secretly a Muslim.

Here's hoping this underhanded campaign tactic blows up in Martin's face. If anybody needs me, I'll be playing checkers and reading Elle Decor at my local Republican Party Homosexual Club.

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