Russia's New Dolphin Navy Is No Match for Our Dolphin Navy

| Wed Mar. 26, 2014 2:43 PM EDT

If you are concerned that Russia's acquisition of the Ukrainian military's elite dolphin attack squad could spell the end of America's reign as the most powerful country on Earth, fear not: Not only are we the home of jazz, blue jeans, and the greatest basketball team ever assembled, we also have been training dolphins to fight our wars find and detect sea mines since 1960.

Navy