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How to spot a terrorist
I really had no idea how to spot a terrorist until I studied the manuals published by the Phoenix FBI, the state employees of Virginia, and the Texas Department of Public Safety. Now that I have absorbed these manuals, I not only know how to spot a terrorist, but I have discovered that I probably am a terrorist.
The Phoenix FBI manual was published while Clinton was still president. The Joint Terrorism Task Force was formed to "help preserve the American way of life." Its flyer requested that citizens contact the task force if they saw any of the following:
Defenders of the U.S. Constitution against federal government and the UNThe Phoenix Sheriff's Office did not care for the flyer, and it had a short life.
Groups of individuals engaging in para-military training
Those who make numerous references to the U.S. Constitution
Those who attempt to police the police
Lone individuals
Rebels
On to Virginia...This manual tells us to beware of the following people:
Members of anti-government and militia movementsAccording to the authorities in Virginia, terrorists stand out in the crowd because of the stuff they carry:
Property rights activists
Members of racist, separatist, and hate groups
Environmental and animal rights activists
Religious extremists
Members of street gangs
Sketch pads or notebooksAnd finally, there's Texas, whose manual shares with us some characteristics of terrorists:
Maps or charts
Still or video cameras
Hand-held tape recorders
SCUBA equipment
disguises
Focused and committedWell, there you are. Could someone pick you out of the crowd as a terrorist? As an emailing, camera-toting, focused and committed animal rights activist who sometimes looks like a businesswoman, frequently references the Constitution, and still has some leftover costumes from my years in New Orleans, I'm as good as gone.
Team-oriented and disciplined
Familiar with their physical environments
Employ a variety of vehicles and communicate by cell phone, email, or text messaging
Try not to draw attention to themselves
Look like students, tourists, or businesspersons
Travel in a mixed group of men, women, and children
Avoid confrontations with law enforcement
Use disguises or undergo cosmetic surgery
Posted by Diane E. Dees on 04/27/06 at 7:57 PM | E-mail | Print
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Comments
Oh shit, I left my notebook and my SCUBA gear on the train! I'll never get it back nowwwwwww!
Posted by: Ferma LaBush on 04/28/06 at 1:41 PM
That would be funny if not for the fact that we as a nation have leaders who are promoting fear as a way of controling its citizens and promoting "police-like state tactics of "ratting" on your neighbors.
Posted by: Clarance D.Smart on 04/28/06 at 2:03 PM
In Chicago, anyone sitting in a starbucks with a cup of coffee from dunkin donuts is considered as being a suspected terroists
Posted by: david waters on 04/28/06 at 2:07 PM
Let's not overlook folks who holler Boo! on Halloween.
Posted by: ken loveless on 04/28/06 at 2:17 PM
…A note from the underground . . .until there are none it could be anyone…a note from Chief Inspector Inquisitor ... even if there were none we’d need to check anyone just to be safe and luckly this takes forever.
Posted by: Jeff on 04/28/06 at 3:16 PM
Oh my God, My Mother is a terrorist.
Posted by: terrie on 04/28/06 at 4:27 PM
I think I fit the manuals profile also, except for the only fact that I never rally. But I do use a cellphone. I wear jeans and employ a motor vehicle. God have mercy.
Posted by: Dr.Q on 04/28/06 at 8:39 PM
I wasn't a SCUBA diver, so I let them be taken away,
I wasn't a businessman, so I let them be taken away,
I wasn't team oriented, so I let them be taken away...
but when they tried to remove my red, white & blue buttplug
I blew them away!
Posted by: GreginOz on 04/28/06 at 9:36 PM
If I'm a Terrorist, then so is Cindy Sheenan!Not to mention, the namesake of this magazine!
Posted by: Lacey S.Cannon on 04/29/06 at 12:48 PM
It's beyond frustrating that this is what passes as "securing our homeland". It would be hilarious were it not for the fact that we tax-payers are footing the bill for this bunk. Schools and infrastructures all go underfunded while billions of our tax dollars goes to nonsense that: a. doesn't do anything to keep us safe; b. makes us look incredibly stupid; and c.is lining the pockets of so many carpetbaggers.
Posted by: A. Alvarado on 04/29/06 at 1:44 PM
OMG! just about everyone I know could be a terrorist. What am I to do? Call the FBI everytime I see someone with a video camera. I saw three just this morning.
This is total nonsense and everyone knows it. The only people the Bushites are really focused on are those he considers HIS enemies and they are all American with no connetions to Al Qaeda, but plenty of connections to anti-war groups. Those are the people he fears.
Posted by: Bebee Rebozo on 04/29/06 at 2:52 PM
Robb Willer, Assit. Dir. of the Sociology and Small Groups Lab. at Cornell tracked the 26 times the feds reported an increase in terrorist activity between Feb. '01 and May '04, together with 131 Gallop Polls during the same period.
"Results showed that terror warnings inceased presidential approval ratings consistently," says Willer.
So..., maybe we'd be a lot better off if all these sightings go unreported!!!
Posted by: Michael L. Wagner on 04/29/06 at 4:51 PM
Y'all come on up here now. Canada - benefiting from natural selection since 1782.
Posted by: Axel on 04/30/06 at 11:32 AM
I saw a guy walkingaround in night vision goggles and a gas mask, so I reported him to the FBI. They let him go because he wasn't wearing swim fins. Boy, did I feel stupid.
Posted by: The Decider on 05/01/06 at 11:20 AM
You may also be interested in some extracts from the International Association of Chiefs of Police training guide on profiling suicide bombers I noted at http://gizmonaut.net/bits/profiling.html. It appears that the techie and terrorist behavioural profiles are, unfortunately, the same.
br -d
Posted by: David Mery on 05/01/06 at 12:54 PM
I note that lone individuals in Phoenix are seen as potential terrorists but in Texas those same potential terrorists travel in mixed groups.
Posted by: Jay Cee on 05/01/06 at 5:19 PM
Oh see the evil terrorist,
He doesn't give a damn,
I'm glad I'm not a terrorist,
Oh God! Perhaps I am.
Posted by: John Bayldon on 05/01/06 at 5:46 PM
"And finally, there's Texas, whose manual shares with us some characteristics of terrorists:
Try not to draw attention to themselves
Look like students, tourists, or businesspersons
Travel in a mixed group of men, women, and children
Avoid confrontations with law enforcement"
Next time I go visit the USA, remind me to try to draw attention to myself, not to look like a tourist despite being one, only ever travel among other men, and to seek out confrontations with law enforcement. After all, I don't want to be arrested as a suspected terrorist, do I?
Posted by: Joona Palaste on 05/02/06 at 12:04 AM
In '53 at age 15 one Sunday I was accused of being a 'communist' by a US visiting (Holy Roller) Pentecostal preacher because I refused to be a spectacle and go before the alter to beg forgiveness for my sins. For I had not sinned.
In '56 when I was 18 years of age, I questioned why? Since the 'Communist Party was apparently legal in Canada and ran in Elections. According to the Unions Constitution that I was joining at that time to work the jobs I had contracts for as a working foreman. Why, 'communists' and 'fascists' were not allowed to be members of our local Union affiliated with the International Brotherhood of Painters and Allied Trades (IBPAT), AFof L, CIO and CFO. The business Agent said "Since I was not a member or supporter of the Communist Party it did not apply to me." He said "In any case, The offending clause would be removed from the Constitution at the next housecleaning conference."
About 1965 when I was about 27 and with a family having had other interests and a brief period of Unemployment due to a strike that I supported I found myself out of the Union and only permitted to work by temporary permit only when all members of the local were employed. I learned years later that a number of secret meetings were held that labeled me a 'communist' since I did not believe in the 'supernatural' and I was kept out of the union though dues and assessments were deducted.
June 5,1968, After months, years of serious investigation of the political spectrum I was accepted as a member of the Socialist Party of Canada while driving home after the meeting the news of Robert Kennedy's assassination came over the radio. When JFK was assassinated I was sculpting a life sized figure of him for wax museum display.
In 1975 at age 37 when some real unionists gained control of the Glaziers local. I regained membership and soon gained respect from most members and the executive of the local.
In 1980, I was sent as an elected delegate to a Chicago convention to get the offending 'Communist' subversive clause removed from the constitution. To no avail. We were just jerked around by the International's officials. I was invited to shake the hand of Reagan's then new vise-president George Bush but upon hearing his pernicious speech I declined the offer much to the chagrin of the International's toadies.
In 1982 After bargaining a new contract for our trade in B.C. that took us from 2nd to the bottom to second only to the electricians at the top out of 17 construction trade unions. The Washington DC's International executive fired the local's elected officers and put the local under a trusteeship for 2 years. Then they hand picked their own opportunist stooges to run the local and feed the members a pack of lies about us while in control of the local.
By 1986 I was barred totally and all we gained from our efforts for the membership has been lost. Thanks to the Union fascists of the left and right in the USA and Canada.
Posted by: Bill Johnson on 05/02/06 at 2:36 AM
Don't forget bloggers, they are likely terrorists as well.
Posted by: Mary Sue on 05/02/06 at 2:58 PM
when returning to usa from egypt i was searched because i was suspect... i was carrying currency of three different continents... i tried to explain that starbucks in egypt accepted only guinea... in paris where i had a layover it was euro and upon arrival in usa where i am a citizen... dollars... also i was told i did not look american but more german... now what does an american look like???
Posted by: debbie on 05/03/06 at 10:38 PM
Rugby players spend a lot of time physical training Compared to other form of sports.I have read the
Rugby laws mentioned on this site. It's a gripping sport which targets the grip strength and the active mindedness of a player. American football and rugby league are also primarily collision sports, but their tackles tend to terminate much more quickly. For professional rugby, players are often chosen on the basis of their size and apparent strength and they develop the skill and power over the passage of time. In modern rugby considerable attention is given to fitness and aerobic conditioning as well as basic weight training.
Posted by: Rugby Fan Steve on 08/25/06 at 11:30 AM
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Man, I was *wondering* what was up with that guy on the subway with SCUBA gear and a notebook. Guess now I know...
Posted by: Brad Plumer on 04/28/06 at 10:49 AM