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The Man Who Would Be Surgeon General

Not only is Bush's choice for Surgeon General a homophobe; he's also an idiot. A 1991 paper by the nominee written for the Methodist Church, James W. Holsinger, makes about as infantile an argument against homosexuality as one could imagine. His argument boils down to "the thing speaks for itself!" (really, the exclamation point is original!). His point is that the food/waste system (which includes not just that locus of gay anxiety, the anus, but also, hello!, the mouth) is self-evidently distinct from the sexual/reproductive system—and therefore, self-evidently, the anus should not be used for sex, and doing so self-evidently causes health problems.

Holsinger tries to make his utterly childish argument sound smart by:

(a) quoting "the thing speaks for itself!" first in Latin;

(b) mentioning the cross-cultural acceptance of his argument: "[I]t is clear that even primitive cultures understand the nature of waste elimination, sexual intercourse, and the birth of children. Indeed our own children appear to "intuitively" understand these facts. I think we should note that these simple "scientific facts" are the same in any culture." (Ed. Note: The use of scare quotes and exclamation points is almost always evidence of a stupid, stupid argument.)

and (c) drawing, as a true sign of erudition, on fields other than the sophisticated medicine that is his focus—specifically, how nuts and bolts fit together just as, self-evidently, male and female genitalia do (though more than one woman would probably disagree with even that assessment): "the logical complementarity of the human sexes has been so recognized in our culture that it has entered our vocabulary in the form of naming various pipe fittings either the male fitting or the female fitting depending upon which one interlocks within the other."

There you have it: Holsinger is no rocket scientist. And he shouldn't be Surgeon General, either. He shows clear signs of not being able to separate his personal beliefs from medical fact. Not only that, but Holsinger eventually resigned from the Methodist Church's Committee to Study Homosexuality because he thought it was too liberal. He went on to found a church for ex-gays.

Gay rights groups are protesting the nomination, but Holsinger's supporters are claiming he would never let his religious beliefs interfere with his duties as Surgeon General. Self-evident, don't you think?

Comments

"He went on to found a church for ex-gays." This sounds like he really has concern for the issue. What is the name of the church for former gays?

Posted by: Ted on 06/06/07 at 4:17 PM Respond

i don't know if all this makes him an idiot, though it does suggest he understands sex as an emotionless, coldly biological process, at least when it's convenient to do so. so, is it ok for gays to kiss? is it ok for anybody to kiss?

i want to attribute to to celine, but i'm not certain where i picked it up: the body's sex organs are also the body's sewers. it sounds cynical enough to be celine, but it also reminds me that holsinger's logic isn't particularly sound, regardless of sexual orientation.

Posted by: nmc on 06/06/07 at 4:31 PM Respond

He seems to have also missed that fact the penis is primarily used for waste disposal.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I end up urinating a lot more often than I have sex.

Based on his logic we either have to stop using the penis during sex, or anything using the penis in it's primary function is ok... which would include water sports wouldn't it?

Wow, what kinky guys those Methodist ministers are. Who knew?

Posted by: John on 06/06/07 at 4:42 PM Respond

Wow, what kinky guys those Methodist ministers are. Who knew?
Posted by: John on 06/06/07 at 4:42 PM

OK, that's hysterical. :)

Posted by: Touro University on 06/06/07 at 5:15 PM Respond

The Holsingers were commissioned by First United Methodist Church to join with a small group which organized and chartered Hope Springs Church, the first new United Methodist Church in the Lexington area in many years. Hope Springs is located in a warehouse near downtown Lexington where it serves a broadly diverse population.

Posted by: Ted on 06/06/07 at 6:19 PM Respond

What is the name of the church for former gays?

St. Haggard.

Posted by: jurassicpork on 06/06/07 at 7:26 PM Respond

His linking sex to pipe fittings reminded me of what my dad always called a coupling or "double female" fitting - a "homosexual connector." The idea was that since the coupling is a short fitting designed for connecting two males, it was the piece that could connect two homosexuals for penis-to-penis sex. This may sound homophobic, but my dad was a blatent trisexual - he would try anything.

Posted by: Gary on 06/07/07 at 5:02 AM Respond

Cute comments aside, the oral/anal mucosa are not very good at protecting individuals from STIs. That is a scientific fact, not a personal opinion. The penile skin and the vaginal mucosa are much tougher by contrast. It is also my personal observation from 25 years of medical practice that monogamous heterosexuals rarely have STIs. This is not the case for persons who use multiple forms of sexual coupling with multiple sexual partners. I advise persons who ask my advice: "Proceed with Caution."

Posted by: Gary Kearl on 06/07/07 at 12:32 PM Respond

Sure, he's a nut-job, but I'm bettin' his religious and political creditials are impeccable. Reminds one of Goodling--in charge of 83 professional career DJ attorneys and her qualifications were 1) graduated from a chuch college founded by Pat Robertson, 2) had 6 months of intern experience, 3) knew the right people, 4) was a full-blown ideolog willing to subsume everything to political allegiance. Where do they keep finding these nincompoops?

Posted by: Chuck on 06/07/07 at 12:43 PM Respond

Gary Kearl MD, your remarks may be technically correct, but unfortunately, this is an issue which has become far more political than technical.

Posted by: Ted on 06/07/07 at 2:31 PM Respond

Gary, I think you're mixing apples and oranges. Heterosexuality does not equal monogamy does not equal refraining from anal and oral sex.

Posted by: Cameron on 06/08/07 at 12:08 PM Respond

(sarcasm)

Oh No! The Administration would NEVER allow personal or religious bias to color its political program, would it??

(stem cell research, reproductive health, global disease statistics papers....climate change, immigration...)

*rolling eyes*

Posted by: D Smith on 07/11/07 at 11:16 AM Respond

Ok I’m going to have to ask you all to please excuse my naïve take on the good Doc’s attempt to explain why homosexuality is wrong, but the last time I checked 1 + 1 = 2. What I mean by this is since when was it natural for a man to have sex with another man or women to have sex with another woman? What is the ultimate goal for having sex? I thought it was for 1 woman and 1 man to produce at lest 1 child (procreation). I know I’m a little slow but hey, all this talk about pipes, to heck with that just answer the basic question. So what is so homophobic about stating the obvious?

Posted by: Octane on 07/11/07 at 12:55 PM Respond