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Google Reveals Everything Important About America

For the first time since February, Google has updated its Google Trends database, allowing me to give you an up-to-date look at our nation's most important issues--or at least its most important internet searches, which we all know is the same thing.

War

Iraq: blue / Star Wars: yellow / Halo: red / World of Warcraft: green

Iraq-Google-Trends.gif

When it comes to war, this easily generated chart shows fantasy war has been a more popular Google search this year than real war, except in late April and early May when the "Iraq" search term (blue) claimed fleeting victory over "Star Wars," "Halo" and "World of Warcraft." My guess is that kids were kicking the video game habit for a moment while researching end-of-semester term papers on foreign affairs disasters. If you run the search yourself and look at the localized stats, you'll see that the only cities where "Iraq" won were Washington, DC (of course) and Columbus, Ohio. Will somebody from Columbus explain? On the other end of the scale, Salt Lake City dominated each fictional war category. But then, I'm not sure Salt Lakers consider Star Wars to be fiction. (Mormons believe Native Americans descended from the 12 tribes of Israel, and before that, Jedi Masters). Anyway, combining all three fantasy wars leaves Iraq totally dominated. As for other real wars, the "Global War on Terror" doesn't even rank, but I'm not sure that bothers me seeing how GWOT is only slightly less fictional than World of Warcraft.

Climate Change

Global Warming: blue / Hummer: red / Air Conditioning: yellow / Al Gore: green

Global-Warming-Google-Trend.gif

As of late July, after dominating the field for months, "global warming" has fought "Hummer" to a bitter draw. Meanwhile, "air conditioning" was lying in wait during the cool spring months, only to crank up in May and blow past "global warming" in June in a cloud of CO2 emissions from dirty coal plants in the sweltering South. "Al Gore" came to the rescue when he announced a surprise Live Earth concert on July 7th, but within a week he had dropped to the bottom of the pack. (Al: We need more concerts. Can you play tambourine on a tour with Willie?)

The Presidential Election

Hillary Clinton: light blue / Barack Obama: red / Rudy Giuliani: green / Fred Thompson: yellow / Ron Paul: dark blue

Candidate-Google-Trends.gif

The internet has spoken: Ron Paul will be the next president. Everyone else might as well pack up and go home, because this 71-year-old libertarian from Lake Jackson, Texas is on fire with the power of bored IT workers Googling him on lunchbreak. And Digging him, and searching for him on Technorati, and demanding him on Eventful and befriending him on MySpace and pumping him on Meetup and submitting more questions to him than any other candidate during his rockstar appearance in Silicon Valley at Google Talks. Pretty much anywhere you look in cyberspace, he's kicking ass. Nevermind that he wants to abolish the IRS, the Department of Ed and the EPA. They're already irrelevant. . .

The Role of Government

Government: blue / Google: red

Government-Google-Trends.gif

This is why Silicon Valley rules America.

Posted by Josh Harkinson on 08/09/07 at 1:45 PM | E-mail | Print | Digg | de.licio.us | Reddit | Newsvine | Yahoo! MyWeb | StumbleUpon | Netscape | Google |



Comments

"I'm not sure Salt Lakers consider Star Wars to be fiction. (Mormons believe Native Americans descended from the 12 tribes of Israel, and before that, Jedi Masters)."

* * *

Oh, Josh, you had to go there. Mocking faith just doesn't make sense. Are you going to seriously argue that Mormonism makes less sense than say, Judaism or Christianity? I don't know if you're a man of faith. But if you don't believe that life is worth living and that love is worth having, then you truly are a lost soul. Life and love are the core underpinnings of all faiths. So tell me again, how is that bad?

Posted by: Obi Wan on 08/10/07 at 5:26 PM

Although Josh was speaking with a mean ireverency, the charge of "mocking faith" is increasingly used to avoid criticism of its genuinely troubling aspects. Life is very much worth living but that doesn't mean that a literal belief in the myth that Native Americans are a lost Jewish tribe (cursed to be non-white) is not only historically delusional but racist on its face. Now prejudice comes in thinking that a)all or even most Mormons belive this literally or b)there isn't a non-literal sense to these (or other beliefs) that are neither delusional nor racist. But I gotta tell you that as far as the perception of an underlying racism goes - the burden of proof ain't with the "unbelievers" even if every last Mormon denied a single racist thought or feeling. It's about the stories we tell ourselves and our kids and the way in which imagination shapes how we interpret the world and our experiences. It's not enough to renounce the results of racist mythologies, we have to become aware of how much of our outlook and attitudes are influenced by forces not directly under conscious control, which means you can be innocent in intention and guiltly in act. So by all means presume innocence - but don't tell me I can't mock what I find genuinely sinister. And because I might be wrong I'd hope I'd be more witty than mean (a la Colbert perhaps).

eb

Posted by: eb on 08/10/07 at 6:29 PM

Unless more people in America start ridiculing "faith", you won’t have much of a constitutional government left. When faith is only a matter of personal behavior (meaning, not generally public) then ridicule is – perhaps – “mean ireverency”. But NOW, the Christian fundamentalist, Mormons (not sure if they are considered “fundamentalist”) and Muslims (who went heavily Republican in 2000) have pushed their imaginary-friend into public policy. So, what OTHER defensive measure is available to rational people OTHER than ridicule. “Facts and ideas” sure won’t work. Belief in an imaginary-friend OR in ideology is completely devoid of facts. Somebody very smart on this site - many years ago - suggested that the only way to fight the fundamentalists – and their ilk – is with ridicule. He (I think, he) is still right (and – of course – it’s the only thing that work on males in general). If there was some “Swift Boat equivalent” Democratic group running “Jesus votes Republican” and “Question the Party? Question Jesus!” ads, and making the fascists-Daddy-worshiping party confront the “religion in public policy” issue – the discomfort level might go high enough to make these people shut up and go away. Ridicule is the ONLY thing that can work against an imaginary-friend.

The question I’d be hammering Romney with is: “Hey Romney, did your kids get personal revelations from the pedophile prophet not to enlist?” Romney’s a “born rich”, ex CEO – he’s been surrounded by corporate yes-men his entire life. He’d crack like-an-egg with minor ridicule.

Posted by: John on 08/11/07 at 5:56 PM

It's easy (and fun) to make fun of Mormons, but the only metaphysical point I think I can prove is the idea, first put forth by Descartes, that "I think, therefore I am." Beyond that, Jesus, Allah or puff the magic dragon could rule the universe, for all I know. In that spririt, I hereby admit that the Mormons could be right, and agnostics such as myself simply have not seen the light (or worn long underwear anywhere near as often as we should).

Posted by: Josh Harkinson on 08/11/07 at 7:20 PM

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