DC Representation Fails in Senate, Mitch McConnell Explains Himself to Space Aliens

A cloture vote in the Senate just moments ago on whether or not D.C. residents will get congressional representation ended up with 57 Ayes and 42 Nos, meaning Democrats and moderate Republicans weren't able to find the 60 votes needed to overcome a filibuster organized by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. The citizens of DC will go without representation in Congress for another year, possibly two. For background, see my piece that published yesterday.

Here's my rendition of Mitch McConnell explaining this situation to a space alien.

McConnell: Wow, an alien.
Space alien: Mitch, we have abducted you because you are the most powerful man in the most powerful legislative body of the most robust democracy on Planet Earth.
McConnell: Oh, news must travel slow through outer space. You want Harry Reid.
Space alien: What?
McConnell: Forget it. Can I help you with something?
Space alien: Yes. We want an explanation of how your government works. Does everyone get representation in your national body?
McConnell: Um, no.
Space alien: Ah, only land-owning males of the dominant tribe or race are allowed to vote for their representatives.
McConnell: No.
Space alien: Any male of the dominant tribe or race, regardless of property ownership?
McConnell: No.
Space alien: Any male, regardless of tribe?
McConnell: No.
Space alien: Any male or female?
McConnell: No.
Space alien: Quite admirable, Mitch. Everyone of legal age can have a representative in your Congress?
McConnell: Everyone except the citizens of one city.
Space alien: Which city?
McConnell: Our capital city.
Space alien: Heavens to murgatroid! Surely they don't pay taxes in this arrangement.
McConnell: They do.
Space alien: Surely they do not fight in your wars.
McConnell: They do.
Space alien: And how do you justify this?
McConnell: ...
Space alien: Mitch?
McConnell: ...
Space alien: Surely you are doing something to end this unjust and obviously undemocratic arrangement.
McConnell: Actually, I just filibustered to maintain the status quo.
Space alien: ...

Updates: Here's your roll call. Republicans who voted with the Dems: Hatch (UT), Bennett (UT), Collins (ME), Snowe (ME), Coleman (MN), Lugar (IN), and Specter (PA). Democrat Max Baucus of Montana voted with the Republicans.

Update Update: The Plank slaps Baucus around for his incredibly stupid rational for voting against.

Comments

A good follow-up post would be a rendition of the Ghost of Publius explaining the Constitution to both Jonathon Stein and a Martian.

Posted by: narrow gauge on 09/18/07 at 2:21 PM Respond

DC is a third world country. They do not deserve to have representation. If they don't like it, they can move to San Fransicko.

Posted by: Billy on 09/18/07 at 3:21 PM Respond

At least we're all posting intelligent responses that are moving the dialogue forward...oh wait..

Posted by: Jordin on 09/18/07 at 7:02 PM Respond

i know there would be some in DC that would like to helps us get rid of old money bag Mitch, so here a link to ACT BLUE so you can help us defeat old scumb bag!!
http://www.actblue.com/entity/fundraisers/330

Posted by: kilowat on 09/18/07 at 8:26 PM Respond

little youtube on our most hated senator enjoy!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2RCIwx78bA

Posted by: kilowat on 09/18/07 at 8:29 PM Respond

I guess they can continue making the license plates...Taxation Without Representation

Posted by: Nate on 09/19/07 at 6:53 AM Respond

Nothing drives me nuts more than when liberals or conservatives decide it's fine to set aside the rules when it suits THEIR interests (and usually gripe and moan when it's the other side doing the rule-breaking). Look, there's a reason there's a constitution and certain rules set out by it. DC is no more a state than Puerto Rico, Guam, or the US Virgin Islands. You want senators, reps, and electoral college votes, become a state with all the rights and responsibilities attendant. But even if you don't, expect to be taxed and regulated - unless you want absolutely no government support. And Lord knows DC survives on nothing but.

Posted by: J on 09/19/07 at 8:37 PM Respond

You are right J, DC is nothing but one big welfare state where it is more dangerous for a GI to walk in than Iraq. Look at the drugged Mayors that they produce. It is a failed state like Zimbabwe. Shameful.

Posted by: Tyrone on 09/20/07 at 6:51 AM Respond

what are you nuts Iraq is more dangerous than D.C should allow Representation

Posted by: Frank on 09/21/07 at 9:34 AM Respond

billy i don't know u personally but by the judgement of your words, you are an idiot. D.C. is not a third world country, it happens to be your nation's capitol. Being a D.C. resident i don't really care about having representation in Congress. It's just a fact that we still have to pay as much taxes as anyone else. you don't care cause you don't live here, but don't give sugestins about something you are not clear on.

Posted by: kristen on 06/08/08 at 11:42 AM Respond

j you are also wrong. Not everyone in D.C. survives on the governments serveices. We work just like you do. Don't pass judgement on everyone in D.C. by the newsletters you read, and the T.V.'s you watch. Like the suburbs, i think they are harsh because little kids get swipped for nothing, but killings in D.C. have reasons.

Posted by: kristen on 06/08/08 at 11:47 AM Respond