Absolutely, utterly brilliant stuff. I particularly love the line, "Career, children, love, and sex - women don't usually get to have more than one of these at a time. Sucks. Totally unfair. Utterly sexist." The sooner we admit this reality and stop trying to pander to some "women's mag" ideal of "You too can have it all" the sooner we are to actually find satisfaction in living a life that we don't hate.

You’re right. Lisa Nowak’s behavior was bad, very bad.

Nonetheless, you have to love the story. It has something for everyone. Unfortunately, it’s news not fiction. There’s a nasty side to the whole business and it’s probably a little more complicated and less entertaining than it seems. This naturally makes me curious.

I wonder how someone with the stuff it takes to be an astronaut could go off the rails so suddenly and with such bizarre irrational behavior. If someone strong and resilient enough to make it into the astronaut corp. could snap like that, couldn’t it happen to anyone? It's a little scary to think that even successful, strong, resilient people can be struck with the psychological equivalent of the swine flu, diabetes or cancer.

So many questions yet unasked and unanswered though Lisa Nowak’s story dropped out of the buzz and out of my thoughts.

When I saw your piece I smirked at the thought of more Lisa Nowak Incident wackiness, so I had to read it, expecting another chuckle but hoping for some insight.

What I found was entirely unexpected. No chuckles were gleaned. There was no insight in sight. Instead, I slowly realized I was reading a nasty vindictive eye-rolling sarcastic diatribe.

I’d like to know why you could possibly have such venom for a woman you don't know personally, whose bizarre irrational actions did not affect you directly, other than to provide fodder for the buzz. I’d like to know where you get off claiming she has no underlying psychiatric pathology.

You've actually managed to co-opt her mental illness, including all the troubles for her and those around her, and made it about you and others offended by her behavior. You seem to have made her disgrace your disgrace and that pisses you off, doesn’t it.

Have you no compassion woman? What kind of person are you?

Are you one of ignorant minority who don’t ‘buy into’ the concept of mental illness and psychiatric pathology? Do you really believe (without scientific evidence) that mental illness and the associated emotional and behavioral symptoms are a sign of weak character and a bad attitude?

Everything in Lisa Nowak’s story screams acute mental illness that begs treatment. An otherwise stellar performing individual suddenly snaps and begins acting in bizarre irrational ways that are completely out of character. A person in such a health crisis needs psychiatric and psychological intervention just surely as a person with cancer needs a surgeon and an oncologist.

What’s your explanation?

Oh, Right. She’s not crazy, she’s weak.

Here’s my explanation, for your irrational and somewhat bizarre diatribe.
You like to think you’re tough, a warrior, but you’re not that tough at all. You are, however, bitter, frightened and ignorant.

Lucky for you, ignorance can be cured and you can learn to cope with your fear in a more productive way. The bitterness may be a little tougher to deal with.

I agree: her behavior was most disturbing and this legal result is wrong. However, I wonder if the judge did this because the *victim* was a woman, which would fit in more with the status quo of minimizing violent crimes against women (and girls).

My book about the Lisa Nowak case, OUT THERE, was released last week by St. Martin's Press. I dedicated the book: "To anyone who has ever done anything stupid for love."
I've yet to find anyone who told me that statement doesn't include them. Lisa carried it to an extreme, sure, but she's not that different from any of us--male or female. But her whole life was one of extremes. She butted heads with sexual discrimination in the Naval Academy, in the Navy and at NASA, too. Failure was not an option she would consider in any area of her life.

Wow. What vitriol for this woman and her "female jealousy."

You'd think Debra was a man.
She apparently does.

i'm really getting tired of debra dickerson's mad ravings. if she put even a paragraph of thoughtful reflection, i might be able to gag the rest down.

Cool! I love reading writers who want men and women to be held equally accountable for their bad behavior! Equal rights require equal resposnibility so women can't be given a pass because of menopause, broken hearts, or the dreaded PMS defense Dickerson mentioned. Is there an andropause defense for men?

No feminist will EVER give a mentally ill man any slack for hitting his wife. Why should a mentally ill person who happens to have a uterus get kinder treatment? Why, by the way, do we care about the gender of her intended victim.

I don't really understand how/why Ms. Dickerson believes Lisa Nowak's behavior is, somehow, gender related; which seems to be the premise of this writing. Ms. Nowak is female, but how does that really relate directly to the obsessive actions leading to her notoriety? Would the "story" not have equal legs if it involved the extreme behaviors of a male astronaut? Human foible is universal, not gender oriented.

"How novel, women just can't control their emotions and shouldn't be held accountable."

Don't put words in their mouths. And crazy people don't give up their emotions at the same time that they become insane, so whether you're right or not that she's weak, or in love, or whatever, you're wrong that that displaces insanity as an explanation. Usually I think you're right on, Debra, but this time you blew it in your leaps to conclusions.

Hey, whether I agree with her on everything or not, in a world of milquetoast libs, a little ranting and raving is welcome. Keep frothing, Debra!!

I thought that I was going to get some insight on your opinion on Lisa Nowak Affair but I was wrong. It was nothing more than a diatribe. Now I can understand your "put down" of Lisa but that bullshit about the pastor's wife?! C'mon. Grow up! The two incidents are totally seperate.

I don't have time to try to educate you on the differences so let me end on this note. When I was an undergrade at IU there were signs posted around campus asking for volunteers to escort female students home from Lindley and Ballantine Halls. So since I studied most of the time on that part of campus I went to to the woman studies department to volunteer. The receptionist(a woman) got really irate and started shouting and swearing at me about my wanting to volunteer. The department head came out to seperatre us before we started swinging. That was my first meeting with a feminazi until now.

jeez...
feminists, democrats, republicans, conservatives, blacks, whites, asians, christians, muslims, jews...
gotta take em a moment/event at a time...
i guess the practical lowest common denominator in this case would be 'human', right?

i don't know...i'm still surprised that people believe in letting 'justice' being done by others than the involved parties...
we're just spectators responding to hearsay with the need, obviously, to editorialize...
not that nothing can be learned from such a process.
but 'all this' isn't going to change the outcome of the event mentioned...

something that occured to me was whether or not her behavior might've been related to her training and astronaut experience...a mini stroke, possibly.
or have i been watching too much 'house'? ;-)
i'm wondering if anyone has entertained that possibility, though...i live in holland now so i haven't really heard of this astronaut or this event...
i'm not sure what was or not done/investigated...this article was the first i've heard of it...

carry on pilgrims...

Don't think it's so much that she's weak as her lawyers are just using the likeliest defense to get her off. If anything think it'd be the mental health activists infuriated--don't see what the heck this has to do with feminism...

One truly has to wonder about what terribly painful experiences Ms. Dickerson has perhaps experienced in her own life at the hands of a mentally unbalanced person. For surely her hateful rantings seem like a reflection of her own pain and horror.

Lisa Nowak's and Susan Smith's minds justified each of their behaviors in such a way as to cause them to believe that their behaviors made sense. Such extreme Cognitive Distortions are not the product of minds that are mentally healthy.

Right on!! I am SO VERY SICK and tired of the Bimbo Rules that seem to have voices over those of us who choose to be RESPONSIBLE and STRONG WOMEN!!

When I was young I was told specifically that "girls can not be astronauts" when career day rolled around and now that gender is supposed to play far less of a role - there we are again!! How much easier it will be to keep the "monthly stress cases" out of the pool all together now...

It sucks to be a woman but the media can STOP "helping" us along by only portraying the ugly while only casting the beautiful...

Right on!! I am SO VERY SICK and tired of the Bimbo Rules that seem to have voices over those of us who choose to be RESPONSIBLE and STRONG WOMEN!!

When I was young I was told specifically that "girls can not be astronauts" when career day rolled around and now that gender is supposed to play far less of a role - there we are again!! How much easier it will be to keep the "monthly stress cases" out of the pool all together now...

It sucks to be a woman but the media can STOP "helping" us along by only portraying the ugly while only casting the beautiful...

I totally agree. OF COURSE she is crazy, or she wouldn't have done those things. That doesn't mean she doesn't have to suffer the consequences of her behavior.

You say "Career, children, love, and sex - women don't usually get to have more than one of these at a time." Well, this just isn't true. I do concede that it's much harder for us than for men to "have it all", but I'm not alone in having proved that it can be done. I personally know a long list of women who've done it. I had the children (four), studied and developed the career while they were young, and eventually had the rest as well. (I even have grandchildren, and I know other career women who do too.) We just have to work ten times harder than any man ever does, and be far more resourceful and much better at managing in order to "have it all". Of course that's unfair, but then life's unfair.

I think you've been quite tough on Lisa Nowak. It's true that she managed to fool herself disastrously about her boyfriend's intentions and feelings towards her, in that she did not recognize that what he was actually doing was trying to get rid of her by letting her down gently after he formed the new relationship. But it seems to me that he was the one chiefly to blame in all this. I feel sorry for Lisa that she was under so much pressure that she finally "blew her top". I hope it hasn't wrecked her life, though it did put paid to her former career. But a woman of so much talent is capable of using her personal resources to rebuild. I hope she does so.

Jenna.

It's refreshing to learn that I'm not alone in wanting women to take responsibility for their bad acts, as men often do when they have done nothing at all in family court, where I am prone to be found!

I recently tried a custody case where the uncontroverted facts were that the mother chased the father into the street and stabbed him because he hadn't brought her a hamburger. A man would have gone to jail for a felony had the shoe been on the other foot. She also chased Dad in a car in which the child was riding (she believed the child was with her, but that hardly mitigates the facts) She slept on the same palatte on the floor with her 7 year old boy in a room with no door and never kept a job (but came to court in some finer duds than I wear). THE COURT FOUND THERE HAD BEEN NO FAMILY VIOLENCE.

Failure to take responsibility is lack of character, whether you are a man or a woman. Men OR women who can't keep from hurting others need to work on themselves, whether in jail or on a shrink's couch, and don't need to have a child dragged along with them while they learn their lessons. Unfortunately, lack of character, and actual wrong-doing seems to count for nothing when it comes to the courts.

I agree with the writers, however, who said the lawyers are just picking the best defense for their client. I think it should be available to both genders if it applies to one.

When we marched around in the 60's and 70's (and I am the beneficiary of some forward-thinking policies at law schools that resulted from that), we didn't want "superiority" we wanted equality, which still seems to elude us. As long as we are still using "get out of jail free" cards based on our gender, we'll never really be free, nor will out daughters.

When this case first hit the news my reaction was "oh, great, female astronaut proves why females can't handle the stress of being an astronaut." I hoped that they would nail Novak to the wall. I knew, of course, that they wouldn't. I knew that she would be able to cop some sort of "fragility" plea that would sound convincing. Debra's right. I have no sympathy for Novak, she makes women look weak.

I really like your thoughts on the irresponsibility of Nowak and how her "I'm a woman" excuse is pathetic and anti-femist. Did you see at this abcnews.com article ( http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/Story?id=3994293&page=2 Dec-13-2007 ):
"Nowak is now working on flight software for the Navy, and keeping a very low profile." Why is this woman working?! She should be in an insane asylum, or banished to some island for crazy, violent people. Then, later in this same abcnews.com article, she says "how very sorry I am about ... and the subsequent public harassment that has besieged all of us..." Public harassment?! Puulllleaze! That lady defines bizarre harassment - driving 1000 miles to confront her boyfriend's (while she's married!) new, hotter girlfriend! Please. This is the downfall of America.

Hey 3rd-chimp,

"...for your irrational and somewhat bizarre diatribe..." The article on Lisa Nowak's troublesome and criminal behavior, and the coddling by law enforcement and legal system is right on. Your permissive attitude about "well, it's a woman and you're just bitter" is stupid and inane.

Does this mean if she was sent to prison to do some hard time it would be a “win” for feminism?

Trying to consider a judicial prerogative without being the judge nor in the jury is second guessing the system not the defendant (or victim).

There are many legal decisions made that seem odd or unfair on the surface. If the process is flawed address the process, if the judge made a poor decision then either side can and would likely appeal.

Nobody likes it when some dope dealer or smuggler gets off because the evidence was not obtained legally but that legality it the same thread that stitches together our privacy and our rights to be treated fairly and legally.

I am not familiar with the particulars of the case but I suspect the outcome was as fair as the system allowed.

You can be sure, if I were charged with a crime and my attorney was able to keep me out of jail and home with my better half I would welcome his successes and toast his talents.

Maybe that's just me.