MotherJones Blog: Scenes From a Nader Fundraiser at a San Francisco Dive Bar

«--Previous Post | Blog Index | Next Post--»

Scenes From a Nader Fundraiser at a San Francisco Dive Bar

The 540 Club, in an old bank building at 540 Clement Street in San Francisco, is the only bar in town to call an elephant its mascot. A 300-pound stuffed pachyderm blobs on a ledge above the front door, a cast-off inherited after the San Francisco zoo shuttered its elephant exhibit. The bar's logo, a pink elephant found on its tables, its business cards and the forearm of its soda jerk, is described by the staff as "the universal symbol of alcoholism and sloth etc," and not as any sort of inducement to Republicans. In fact, the threat, in liberal San Francisco, of being labeled a GOP sympathizer never really occurred to the owner of the bar, Jamie Brown—until this week, that is, when he found himself debating whether to supplement the elephant with a stuffed donkey. The bar was set to hold a fundraiser for none other than the Great Spoiler, Ralph Nader. "What the hell?" Brown said Sunday morning, apropos of nothing, as he dragged on a Camel and waited for Nader's entourage to arrive. "Just in general, what the hell?"

Brown had sent two emails announcing the event. One said Nader would be coming. The other said this wasn't a joke. The local media had called to ask if the fundraiser was a ploy to sell drinks. Patrons hadn't known what to think. A few days after the email went out, during the bar's "Uptown 20s Jazz and Big Band" night, one drinker had supposed Nader would read from Don Quixote; another wondered of the man: "What did he do? Was it a car dealership?"

"I still think people think it's a joke," Brown said that morning before the Pabst Blue Ribbon clock struck noon. Nader was running late. A small crowd at the bar nursed pint-sized bloody marys. Brown, who sported several days stubble and a severe bed head, excused himself for a moment. "I need a shot, sunglasses, and a pack of cigarettes," he said.

At the back of the bar, attorney John Hoar was wearing a "Modern Drunkard Magazine" sweatshirt and sipping a shot of Fernet Branca, the herbal hangover remedy. He'd come to defend the Corvair: "It was a small, lightweight, early ‘60s, fuel-efficient car," he said, "and Ralph killed it." Several minutes later a woman shuffled into the bar pushing a walker. "That isn't Ralph is it?" Hoar looked up from his drink.

It was Jeanne Lynch, a senior citizen activist. She ordered a stein of warm brandy and sat down near the middle of the room on her walker, which doubled as a chair. She wore a purple jump suit, purple glitter sunglasses shaped like hearts, and a purple beret. "Power, loyalty, and royalty: It's my signature color," she said.

Another regular at the bar, Jenny Pfister, had come on behalf of the German zine Der Penis to photograph punk rocker Jello Biafra, who was supposedly accompanying Nader. Her roomate had slept in—"I'm not feeling political yet," he'd said—and she'd arrived late, alone, and without a camera, but with a copy of Der Penis in hand. She'd recently come from the zine's anniversary party in Bavaria, where she'd earned kudos for dressing as a penis.

Despite everyone's respect for Nader's accomplishments and irreverent style, nobody that morning said they'd vote for the man. When someone suggested the event be dubbed Naderpalooza, the bar's Iron Man bouncer suggested instead: "Nader's A Loser." Still, he planned to defend the Great Spoiler from any belligerent Democrats. "I'm gonna put it on my resume," he said.

Sometime after noon, Nader's scout arrived in a sticker-smeared Prius. A few minutes later Nader stepped out of a Ford Escape SUV and waded to the back of the bar. The Grateful Dead cut out and Nader paused, letting his eyes adjust to the speakeasy darkness. "Suddenly everything's quiet," he said. "Where's the mariachi band?"

"In the early 60s we had these small, lightweight, fuel-efficient cars," began Hoar, the Modern Drunkard, who found his stool conveniently situated next to where Nader had paused. "And later we had these huge land yachts. I consider that your fault."

"Actually, the mileage wasn't that hot," Nader said.

Having no immediate retort for this, Hoar changed the subject to turbocharged convertible Corvair Spyders. "Very deadly and very expensive and crappy," Nader offered.

After an introduction by his running mate, former San Francisco mayoral candidate Matt Gonzalez, Nader warmed up the crowd with an anecdote about how it used to be you could walk into a bar and ask, "who runs this city?" But, he added, "I don't know if we know the answer to that today. We knew who our rulers were years ago—John D. Rockefeller, JP Morgan. Now we have these faceless, giant corporations, and look how they've repaid the American people."

Forthwith began a drubbing of the oil companies, the auto companies, the drug companies, the big banks, the copper companies, the big HMOs, George Bush and Dick Cheney ("who are marinated in oil"), the genetic engineers and, in particular, the credit card companies. They change the terms, charge penalties, and raise the rates in the middle, Nader said, "but they never say you've got to write us a check. They just debit you. And so it goes doesn't it? So it goes."

Before ducking out, Nader handed the mike to fundraiser Gregory Kafoury, who informed the crowd that Nader would take $100 donations on plastic. "Put it on a credit card--it's not like you really have to pay for it," he said. "Do it over time. $10 bucks a month for 10 months."

The purple grandma volunteered $100. As did a bartender who'd been laid off her job managing a call center. Someone in the back volunteered $5.

On the sidewalk outside, Kafoury was accosted by a bar patron for denouncing credit card companies while relying on them. "OK," Kafoury admitted after five minutes of heated polemics, "you think it's ironic."

Back inside, Brown, the owner, and his bouncer were trading thoughts over shots. "It's the stop, drop and roll of political commentary," the bouncer said. "You hear that and you just want to roll under your desk and wait for the nuclear weapon to detonate over you."

"You know what, that was one of the coolest things that's ever going to happen in my life," Brown replied.

"I'm sorry," the bouncer said. "I did twins once."

They clinked glasses and downed shots of vodka. "Yeah, you're right," Brown said. "That was cooler."

Comments

I wish that the Democratic candidates would have the courage to speak like Nader. Unfortunately they don't. That is why I sent money to Nader and not to them.

Posted by: Thurston Howe II on 05/17/08 at 12:44 PM Respond

Funny...???, scary...???; what's strange is how MOJO's boy Obama never got around to imitating George W's imitation campaign pledge to cut power company emissions...

Instead we're stuck with "deadly" lightbulbs that don't even carry a proper warning...!!!

Posted by: Michael L. Wagner on 05/17/08 at 1:28 PM Respond

Fluorescent light bulbs have the mercury that is coming from reduced mercury emissions from coal and the childhood vaccines. They had to put the mercury someplace. The bottom line is, everything stays the same.

Posted by: Ginger on 05/17/08 at 3:07 PM Respond

My question to Nader would be "What the heck happened to his face?" He looks either he ate about a hundred tabs of acid or is more than half-sloshed. Nader alway's looks a little wasted. Is that why he keeps running for President? Then I would buy him a drink. He doesnt need to be in the Oval office, he belong's in Detox or the Drunk Tank

Posted by: Franklin Grimes on 05/17/08 at 3:51 PM Respond

Franklin, it is Ted Kennedy that belongs in the Drunk Tank. That is why he had his seizure, one too many drinks. On Capitol Hill, everybody knows that he is drunk, half the time.

Posted by: Ralph on 05/17/08 at 5:32 PM Respond

Obviously-- BIG MOJO wants more than a little flag-waving...

...Talk about looking worse for the wear: One day Bush is all prancing and dancing and generally looking Sassy as all Hell--I look away..., and, somehow, next he's all way down in the dumps...

Ah..., ...Georgie Ol' Boy--damn it--when will you learn your lesson (counting your chickens before they hatch--YOU FOOL!!!!)?

RIGHT!--it's that acid-tripping George W. (seems like he might well be!!!) who's done gone and turned so much of our precious Earth into something much, much worse than a seedy-looking dive...

One would assume here that there's a substantial difference between a man looking peaked and a man with a DUI under his belt...

Ha!; what scares me is how, recently, we learned how way far off our Iranian Bomb intelligence was...

Meanwhile, loopy Obama says he's all for a surgical strike if our Intelligence indicates that Iran's got the Bomb...

Of course, it was OUR DEAR Pres. Clinton who sold that sweet, sweet Nuclear Reactor to China--even though China's Zemin brazenly vowed not to abide by the International Atomic Energy Act, and even though China exports dual-use technologies to Iran, Pakistan and Iraq...

Posted by: Michael L. Wagner on 05/18/08 at 1:00 PM Respond

Franklin Grimes--

Bell's Palsy is "what the heck happened to his face."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell's_palsy

But hey, jokes are funny, right?

Posted by: Zack on 05/18/08 at 1:32 PM Respond

I'm thinking I could use a massage to get my paralyzed brain stimulated again; I can't understand how Obama's (and Clinton's and McCain's) Cap and Trade system might work...

...A businessman finds the capitol to reduce his enterprises' carbon footprint--to an extent that's more than "required."

Then this "surplus" ("savings" above and beyond the emission cap) can be purchased by someone (let's say a power company).

What I don't get is why would anyone "waste" money, year after year, buying pollution credits..., rather than putting this money toward one's own pollution caps...

What happens if you fail to buy your pollution credits--will the penalty be more than what you would have been spent buying your credits...?

Or is this like the illegal alien story, where, in reality, there is no penalty for breaking the law...

Posted by: Michael L. Wagner on 05/18/08 at 2:19 PM Respond

Chew on this:

In order to reach the Kyoto goal of "an 80-percent reduction in greenhouse gas emissions by 2050--the United States would have to revert to a per-capita emission rate last seen in 1910. Considering the nation's population will increase to 420 million by 2050, the per-capita rate would have to roll back even more, to a level 'not seen in the nation since 1875.' For perspective, 'unless there is a genuine breakthrough in carbon-free electricity,' PRI concludes, 'households will not be able to use enough electricity to run a hot-water heater without exceeding' the per-capita emission limit," McCain's "climate change" tour bypasses cooler heads, Michelle Malkin, 05/12/08.

Ah, quit your gutless sniping--so what if Those Hot Heads want to KILL the permanent magnet MagLev, Super-Duper, Wind Turbines in favor of Nuclear Reactors...

It's like so what..., that, now with the Electric Car dead, Congress caved to Bush and X-ed all solar power inititives from the New Energy Bill--IN FAVOR OF TAX BREAKS FOR BIG OIL.

Stick that in your stupid gas tank...!!!

RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????

Posted by: Michael L. Wagner on 05/18/08 at 6:56 PM Respond

To Franklin Grimes: Ralph Nader got Bell's Palsy a few decades back (look it up on google or wikipedia), it's the paralysis of a facial nerve.
People need to stop focusing on stupid little things like that and judging people on the content of their character.

Posted by: betterthannader on 05/19/08 at 10:35 AM Respond

Posted by: betterthannader on 05/19/08 at 10:36 AM Respond

"The Great Spoiler"

*pffffffft*

more fool you: Nader presents some of the BEST SOLUTIONS you'll never be allowed to have.

Pathetic. simply pathetic.

You'd be better served if you put your fingers in your ears & chanted "lalalalalalala I can't hear you".

Oh, but then, your MainStream Media does that for you.
...if you wanna read that in your *liberal* media... more fools you.

BlueBerry Pick'n
can be found @
ThisCanadian com
~~~
"We, two, form a Multitude~ Ovid.
~~~
"Silent Freedom is Freedom Silenced"
"Atque ubi solitudinum faciunt pacem appellant"

Posted by: BlueBerry Pick'n on 05/19/08 at 11:03 AM Respond

I wish everyone would stop bashing Nader, as he is the ONLY one that actually has a solution to get out of this mess we're in. ALL the others have their hands in the devil's (corporate America) pocket and the so-called solutions they have leave them as is. Nader is the ONLY one with the COURAGE to speak the truth. WAKE UP America!!!!
Our government is a corporate fascist one!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Cathy Consoli-Ramzy on 05/19/08 at 11:10 AM Respond

["I wish everyone would stop bashing Nader..."]

Not going to happen.
The Democrats, and Democratic Party Officials in particular, need someone to blame for the fact that they can't choose a candidate for president who inspires voters enough to get elected.
It's got to be SOMEONE's fault that they lose to a turd like G.W.Bulsh..., and it can't be THEIRS, so it MUST be Nader's!

Any other explanation for their losses would require The Party to re-examine itself, it's past performance and it's current state of affairs, and that's just too painful to contemplate, so let's just blame Nader.
OK?

Posted by: Cold Hard Truth on 05/19/08 at 11:20 AM Respond

What's scary is the fact that you would call the next President of the free world a "boy." Maybe we should put more positve effort into "dialoguing" rather than slandering, then we could really talk about light bulbs.

Posted by: Gail on 05/19/08 at 11:22 AM Respond

Personally, I agree with the bouncer... doing twins was better.

Seriously, if Nader was really serious, he would be pro-active and would have begun fund raising and getting on the ballot in all 50 states before now. This is ego driven BS.

Posted by: JD on 05/19/08 at 11:36 AM Respond

Gail:

Was abashed to realize myself...

This is common usage... (not racial...)

Isn't this like the asbestos deal... (the light bulbs...), where we're left to wonder: Is the Govt. planning on putting a cap on light bulb maker lawsuits...???

Positive Dialog...

Well..., at least you've got me laughing...!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Michael L. Wagner on 05/19/08 at 11:46 AM Respond

Nader has been diagnosed with a condition called Bell's Palsy. The causes can be various and difficult to pin down. A popular theory holds that viral inflammation of the facial nerve leads to compression of the nerve and nerve damage or death.

Chronic acid use has not been investigated as a possible cause. Maybe somebody with a financial stake in people doing other kinds of recreational drugs can do a study...

Posted by: Rebecca Ayre on 05/19/08 at 1:16 PM Respond

Gail, we don't use that phrase anymore, that 'leader-of-the- free-world' thing. We haven't used it for, well, about 8 years now.

Posted by: Gary E. Andrews on 05/19/08 at 1:16 PM Respond

I agree that the Dems lost the election through their stupidity. If you look, even Socialist David McReynolds got more votes in Florida than the 534 separating Bush and Gore. In fact, ALL the third party candidates got more than 534 votes. Nadar didn't cost Gore the election; he has to take some of the responsibility as he couldn't even carry his home state of Tennessee. The real factor in Florida was Katherine Harris and Jeb Bush and the manipulation of the voting rolls, but Gore could have won in the other states so Florida wouldn't count.

The Dems need to quit being such wimps. I will keep voting for them as we really don't have any other choice, but they do piss me off!

Posted by: Ben Larson on 05/19/08 at 1:17 PM Respond

Gail, we don't use that phrase anymore, that 'leader of the free world' thing. Why, I don't think we've used it for, for, about 8 years now.

Posted by: GaryEAndrews on 05/19/08 at 1:23 PM Respond

to Michael Wagner:

"What I don't get is why would anyone "waste" money, year after year, buying pollution credits"

The carbon credit is a way to bring carbon reduction to the free market. Each company would decide if it would be cheaper to buy credits or make improvements. The investment/reduction ratio is different for different industries.

For example: For Company #1, located in Tucson with an 50 year old central air conditioner, a little money goes a long way for reduction (replace the AC). For Company #2, fully modernized but in an energy-intensive industry, billions of dollars of investment would bring little reduction.

It's more efficient for Co. 2 to buy credits from all the Co. 1's out there (rather than Co. 2 using the money on it's own eco-improvements): you get the most carbon reduction for your dollar.

You do hit on a good point, though: Any cap and trade system must have strong enforcement mechanisms. (and corporations will be lobbying for the opposite... so keep your eye on that!)

Posted by: Mike Welch on 05/19/08 at 3:13 PM Respond

Mr. Nader has Bell's Palsey.

Posted by: Dee Miller on 05/19/08 at 3:29 PM Respond

Ho--Mike, you've got your work cut out for you trying to convince me about the benefits of cap and trade...

First off, the entire idea doesn't make sense...

You're emitting green house gases like mad...--you've got to put a stop to it!

Your neighbor has saved a lot of money by investing in solar panels...--so now you give him money (because he's done so well...), but that doesn't mean you're "polluting" any less.... You're not getting any carbon reduction, not really...

Nader says we should tax King Coal, ect., ect., ect. because that way Sweet Solar, ect., ect. ect. can be price competitive...

I think the Govt. should offer interest free loans, that "industry" can use to go green...

I'm just spewing here, still, the cost of the bureaucracy involved in the cap and trade system (just for the enforcement arm alone...)could probably pay for much of the improvements...

It's all BS..., because the Maglev permanent magnet wind generator properly should have been invented years and years ago...

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the PRICE OF OIL, ect., ect., ect. drives our Political Process...

Posted by: Michael L. Wagner on 05/19/08 at 3:49 PM Respond

I didn't read all the way through the blog entries to find that Mr. Grimes' question had been answered quite well - a couple of times. Regarding getting Ralph on the ballot in 50 states, he has quite a history of being abused by election committees, which has cost us the ability to fully hear about a man with real solutions. He has spent the last 4 years paying for all the costs from kangaroo court shenanigans pulled on him all over this nation. What they did to him would surely sour and defeat a lesser soul. Mr. Nader's main agenda is justice - justice for all. He has worked to bring us that all his life - he knows how and he means it -he has proven himself time and time again. Just because the corporate owned media makes fun of him or is afraid even to speak his name doesn't mean he isn't the right one - it means he can't be bought.

Posted by: Dee Miller on 05/19/08 at 3:52 PM Respond

Solar, ect., ect., ect. could be used to make Hydrogen, which can be stored for a "rainy day."

Posted by: Michael L.Wagner on 05/19/08 at 3:52 PM Respond

AMEN!!

Posted by: Cathy Consoli-Ramzy on 05/30/08 at 3:05 PM Respond

I've got nothing but admiration for Ralph Nader.When it comes to courage,consumer advocacy, and restoring democracy and the rule of law, Nader is many legions above McCain/Obama.

Why is it that both Democratic and Republican voters condone, or ignore, or are even rooting for their respective candidates in Obama and McCain when both these candidates have voting records that confute their current rhetoric? Should open contradiction and hypocracy be acceptable from our Presidential nominees?

Examples:
Obama:
1: Against Iraq war rhetorically, yet voted for every single funding appropriation to e x t e n d the Iraq holocaust war and occupation.
2:Against Bush's failed foreign military policy of invading countries, yet said that he would bomb inside Pakistan w/o government permission if he felt he needed to. This is essentially a de facto Bush preemptive war policy and preempts Congressional approval constitutionally required to precede any armed military engagement.
3:Want's to talk with our "enemies" but knuckled under to AIPAC to not talk or recognize Hamas. For those of you who are unaware, Hamas was both created by both US and Israeli cooperation to represent the Palestinians and counter the PLO AND was legally democratically elected by the people of Palestine, AND 64% of peace loving Israelis want to recognize it as the legitimate representative of Palestine. Only 28% of militant right wing pro violence Israeli's do not want to give it voice or credence according to the leading Israeli newspaper.

McCain:
The "Maverick" who talks different from Bush, but right in line with his policies.
1:Used to be against torture because it was "UnAmerican" does not produce actionable intelligence, sacrifices the moral advantage of our people, puts our soldiers at reprisal risk, and breaks the Geneva convention. Then he was strong armed into supporting Bush to grant the CIA full torture statues without restriction or accountability.
2:Was against the Bush tax cuts in a time of war to reward the rich and punish the poor. Now he thinks they should be made permanent.
3:Thinks we will be in Iraq for 100 years but sees a timetable to get out in less than 5 years.
4: Is a "Conservative in the spirit of Ronald Reagan but doesn't want to talk to our adversaries-despite the fact that Reagan welcomed and engaged in multiple talks with the "Evil Empire" of the Soviet Union.
5:Promised to break up the monoply of MLB but still allows this to continue.

My standard for ALL politicians is that their rhetoric must match and corroborate their voting record and policy stances. At the very least their rhetoric must not be open demonstrable contradiction and hypocracy.

Should'nt you also have high standards for our elected officials in this nation? If we don't can we rightfully expect smart policy, good management and stewardship of our nation and hope for the future? It makes no sense. Would you send a tenderfoot boyscout to manage a full scale military campaign?

Barack and McCain have disqualified themselves as coherent and consistent candidates.

Ralph Nader has stayed true to his word and deeds through the years and has proven his courage and mettle for years.

Anyone who doubts this should visit his Nader.org site or look at his record of achievement that matches his word or go to one of his events and launch your toughest questions you can muster. He will answer you with thoroughness, clarity, fine detail, and a strategy for making our government more accountable, more transparent, more democratic,
and more answerable to American progressive values.

Posted by: PublicAdvocate on 06/09/08 at 11:02 AM Respond

Well said Ben!

However, remember that rewarding incompetence and hypocracy with reelection only continues the same policies.

We must not be lulled by Pied Pipers whose rhetorical song confutes their congressional voting record unless we want to be burned.

If actions speak louder than words, than we must give much more weight and examination to voting records and hold rhetoric out not as a prepayment for the future, but as a measure of truth for the past.

Democrats have capitulated on everything from failing to impeach Bush to ending the Iraq war, to repealing corporate welfare for the ultrawealthy to rewarding Bear/Stearns with a bailout to condoning torture and the anti-Constitutional Patriot Act.

We must choose other candidates and parties if we want meaningful change and improvement in our government and the nation.

Otherwise we have no one else to blame for bad policies and a wrecked future than ourselves for failing to live up to our own democratic responsibility.

If our government is of, by and for the people of the United States, then, we as citizens must monitor, correct, repeal and challenge politicians and parties who have ignored and/or abused the public trust and injured our Constitution.
All public officials we elect are Constitutionally bound by oath to our Constitution and professionally hired to promote public health, wealth and happiness.

Those who act only as seat warmers or give preferential treatment to corporations at public expense and frustrate and ignore the public good must be recalled from office or voted out of their seats in the earliest possible election.

Posted by: PublicAdvocate on 06/09/08 at 11:20 AM Respond