Exhibit: Forever Young

Adventures in aging gracelessly, from the world’s oldest porn star to bikini waxes for tweens

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11% of the world’s population is over 60. By 2050, 22% will be.

Nearly 2/3 of all the human beings who have ever lived past the age of 65 are alive today.

63% of senior-center directors want to take “senior” out of their programs’ names.

In 1999, the American Association of Retired Persons removed “retired” from its name. It’s now known simply as aarp.

In the next 10 years, the number of workers over 55 is expected to grow 5 times faster than the workforce at large.

In 1985, 18% of Americans in their late 60s still had jobs. In 2006, 29% did.

Half of working Americans have saved $50,000 or less for their retirement. 25% have saved nothing.

Single elderly women—who have a median income of less than $12,000—are most likely to require nursing-home care.

A 20-year study found that attitudes about aging have more impact on life expectancy than cholesterol, smoking, or exercise.

People who had a positive attitude about getting older lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those who didn’t.

1/3 of retirees say that people should “do everything possible” to prevent the effects of aging.

Retin-A, the blockbuster anti-wrinkle agent, was tested on prisoners in Pennsylvania during development.

In April, GlaxoSmithKline paid $720 million for a firm developing a “fountain of youth” pill.

In 2007, Americans bought nearly $30 billion worth of anti-aging products.

The American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine tells “anti-aging practitioners” that each patient can “bring $4,000 to $20,000 in annual gross revenue.”

Between 1997 and 2007, the number of Botox treatments in the US rose by 4,159%.

4,500 women had “vaginal rejuvenation” surgery in 2007.

1/5 of retirees believe plastic surgery could enhance their sex appeal and powers of seduction.

15% of new hiv/aids cases in 2005 were among people over 50.

68-year-old Dave Cummings, the “world’s oldest porn star,” says he only uses Viagra “when I’m working for a producer who’s very demanding.”

Sylvester Stallone took human growth hormone to buff up for the latest Rambo. He told Time that he recommends hgh for “everyone over 40.”

Last year, 61-year-old Suzanne Somers gave the keynote address at an anti-aging conference. “I’ve been hgh-ed and progesteroned and testosteroned and estrogened,” she said. “I feel so great.”

Asked when old age begins, Americans aged 25 to 34 say 67; those over 45 say 77.

When 42-year-old John McCain met his 25-year-old future wife, Cindy, in 1979, he told her he was 4 years younger. She told him she was 4 years older.

Larry King, 74, says he hopes to host his show until at least 2017.

18- to 49-year-olds are 35% more likely to watch the Cartoon Network than CNN.

In 1990, the typical video game player was 18. Today, he is 33.

Kickstart Spark, an energy drink that contains caffeine to promote “better energy and focus,” is designed for 4- to 11-year-olds.

At Los Angeles’ Spa Di Da salon for kids, a “cupcake pedicure” costs $40. Leg waxing starts at $25. A baby manicure is $10.

A beauty salon aesthetician told Philadelphia magazine that she’d performed microdermabrasion on preteens and given an 8-year-old a bikini wax.

A bed-and-breakfast for diaper fetishists in Phoenix, Arizona, features extra-large cribs and a “babysitting service.”

The Rockabye Baby! Rolling Stones lullaby tribute album includes “Time Is on My Side” played on the glockenspiel.

When the Rolling Stones played at the 2006 Super Bowl, the nfl suggested that only fans under 45 had the stamina to watch the performance from the field.

At the time, the youngest Stone was 58.

“Deep purple” Oticon hearing aids sell for as much as $2,750.

Someone who was 20 during the 1967 Summer of Love turned 55 in 2002.

Drug use among fiftysomethings nearly doubled between 2002 and 2005.

Holland has 4 retirement homes for drug addicts.

Members of the Calorie Restriction Society believe that a near-starvation diet will increase their life spans.

Life expectancy in Darfur, where people typically get only 60% of their recommended calories, is 58.

40% of MySpace users are between 35 and 54. Site cofounder Tom Anderson made himself 4 years younger on his page.

When Anderson was outed, Newsweek quipped, “History might’ve unfolded differently if those first few users had known that the site’s hipster co-architect was already well into his 30s.”

In 2006, PayPal cofounder Peter A. Thiel pledged $3.5 million to the Methuselah Foundation, which seeks to “repair and reverse the damage of aging.”

The Alcor Life Extension Foundation charges $150,000 for full-body cryopreservation, or $80,000 for head only. So far, it has frozen 79 people.

Alcor clients get a 1-cubic-foot box for “anything they might treasure in the future,” kept in a salt mine 1,000 miles from their remains.

About 35 Notre Dame alums have been entombed on campus since their alma mater began selling crypts for $10,000 last year.

A Hello Kitty tombstone costs about $1,350.

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