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Dancing the Dole

"They should do away with music at the convention to cut down on the odds of the Republican leadership dancing in public."

by Paula Poundstone

From: paula@motherjones.com
To: mojowire@motherjones.com

August 16, 1996

In his speech on the final night of the Republican convention Bob Dole announced that he had just called Ronald Reagan on the phone and told him that he was gonna "Win one for the Gipper."

I'll bet Reagan was thrilled.

"Thank you, Bob. That is clever. Nancy, Bob's on the phone...Bob Dole. He called to say he was gonna 'Win one for the Gipper.' Isn't that clever? We haven't heard that line since breakfast."

It's been a long week. The re-introduction of Bob Dole has taken its toll on me. It's a good thing they went to the trouble, though. I had the whole wrong idea about the guy. I thought he was in Congress for the last thirty years. It turns out he has been in Russell, Kansas recovering from a war wound until quite recently. Even Phil Gramm benefited from the re-introduction. Bob Dole had called him a bug that should be stepped on and squashed during the primary, but I saw Phil Gramm standing right beside Dole during the balloon drop without any apparent fear of being squashed. Maybe he didn't even recognize the re-introduced nominee.

The balloon drop, as Senator Dole had predicted, was weak. I think people will forgive and forget that pretty easily though. However, history will not be kind to Travis Tritt. His concluding "Sign of the Times" song was painful. The Republicans should consider excluding music from the next convention. It's not just that the music was bad, it's that excluding music will cut down on the odds of the Republican leadership dancing in public.

Watching this event has certainly made me question my sense of reality. It all looked so phony and stupid to me. But they appeared to have no regrets. At the end the stage was filled with people laughing, smiling and cheering. One of the Kemps gave birth up there and no one even seemed to notice.

Haynes Johnson said, on the PBS coverage last night, that this was the beginning of the campaign season. Sheesh. I hope we don't have to get to know Bob Dole again. I couldn't take it.

MoJo's GOP Convention Central
 
Convention Dispatches:

The Third Night
Hygiene, roller coasters, and fiddle-faddle.

- - -

Watching the watchers
Will ABC's convention coverage include a scoop about their own behind-the-scenes lobbying?

- - -

This is the cheesiest
Paula tangles with "Cheesasaurus Rex" and his Kraft Corp. buddies at their party.

- - -

The Second Night
August 14th:
Volleyball, catapults, and high-haired Republicans.

- - -

Talking Television
August 13th:
PP and The Simpsons' Harry Shearer talk about the goofiness of the convention.

- - -

The First Night
August 12th:
Colin, "convictions," and crocodile tears.
















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