Bill’s sagging baseline


When the prez recently sent a note to MoJo columnist Paula Poundstone, we really needed to know the mettle of the man. So we asked the Graphological Society of San Francisco to examine his script–along with Hillary’s, who had written to us some time before. The experts’ report:

Bill’s writing shows that he’s a team player who listens to others. However, his baseline has a slight tendency to rise in midline and fall at the end, suggesting that he can lose steam in the course of a project.

These two can fight–his blunt endings and angles disclose anger that can manifest itself in petulance and pugnacity, while her occasional hooked T-bars and similarly blunt endings show that she too can let fly, often sarcastically.

Their lack of conventional lead-in strokes and embellishment, along with their relatively straight baselines, show their quick grasp of issues and no-nonsense, stable personalities.

Their well-proportioned personal pronouns (“I”) share slants consistent with the rest of their writings–a change from the overinflated, egotistical “I”‘s of most politicians.

The Society’s Karla Huebner summarized: “Both Clintons show vigorous intellects and critical thinking with their rapid, simplified writing. Bill’s doggedly connected, left-slanted script emphasizes the middle zone (letters such as ‘a’ and ‘m’) and lower zone (letters extending below the baseline). This indicates that while he is a steady, determined worker–even a bit of a slave driver–he’s also rooted in today and the physical world, concentrating on tasks at hand rather than on long-term planning. Hillary’s right-slanted writing is somewhat disconnected, with better zonal balance and the more common strong-weak pressure pattern. Her fluid, flexible cursive shows that she looks to the future. Her interests are more mental than physical; she’s a quicker thinker and more intuitive. With their high intelligence and common goals, they should work well together and accomplish a great deal.”

We also showed a graphology student the notes without names. He found a few more personality quirks: “[Bill] can be overwhelming . . . can get confused or into a confusing situation by trying to fit in too many items . . . has a good sex life, but maybe isn’t always satisfied. [Hillary] is not fond of crowds or boring people . . . not necessarily a solitary person, but certainly self-sufficient.” So . . . we’ll be typing all our correspondence from now on.