The Top Top-100 Lists of the Millennium

In which our man Durst provides the only top-100 lists of the millennium you’ll ever need, so you can stop reading all that high-brow, pseudo-intellectual junk elsewhere.


Recently, there’s been not just a spate, but a veritable plethora of top-100 lists, where big time professionals rank the top books, sit com episodes, and recipes of the past millennium. I think they’re mostly written by guys getting paid by the word, because you can see them get bored as the lists kind of peter out near the end.

Admittedly, it takes a lot of time to compile and involves a whole mess of research to find these things, so I thought I’d save both you readers and you fancy historians a little time by offering up a few top-100 lists according to Will Durst as an example of my unswerving commitment to public service and because I, too, am getting paid by the word. No thanks necessary. I’m here to help.

Top 100 years | Top 100 toys | Top 100 foods | Top 100 colors


Top 100 years

  1. 1776
  2. 1492
  3. 1945
  4. 1781
  5. 1789
  6. 1968
  7. 1918
  8. 1865
  9. 1939
  10. 1952
  11. 1933
  12. 1783
  13. 1803
  14. 1790
  15. 1963
  16. 1981
  17. 1900
  18. 1820
  19. 1796
  20. 1941
  21. 1946
  22. 1964
  23. 1913
  24. 1812
  25. 1927
  26. 1787
  27. 1857
  28. 1863
  29. 1919
  30. 1846
  31. 1777
  32. 1886
  33. 1974
  34. 1969
  35. 1936
  36. 1921
  37. 1971
  38. 1892
  39. 1922
  40. 1923
  41. 1924
  42. 1925
  43. 1926
  44. 1821
  45. 1822
  46. 1823
  47. 1824
  48. 1825
  49. 1826
  50. 1868
  51. 1901
  52. 1903
  53. 1972
  54. 1973
  55. 1985
  56. 1986
  57. 1987
  58. 1988
  59. 1989
  60. 1872
  61. 1990
  62. 1999
  63. 1893
  64. 1894
  65. 1795
  66. 1796
  67. 1897.
  68. 1997
  69. 1898
  70. 1799
  71. 1800
  72. 1493
  73. 1494
  74. 1612
  75. 1613
  76. 1614
  77. 1491
  78. 1830
  79. 1930
  80. 1840
  81. 1940
  82. 1750
  83. 1850
  84. 1950
  85. 1951
  86. 1851
  87. 1751
  88. 1651
  89. 1551
  90. 1451
  91. 1351
  92. 1251
  93. 1151
  94. 1152
  95. 1154
  96. 1164
  97. 1998
  98. 1860
  99. 1960
  100. 1060

Will Durst still likes 1999.


Top 100 toys

  1. Dolls
  2. Sticks
  3. Balls
  4. Mud
  5. Rocks
  6. Straw
  7. Water
  8. Boogers
  9. String
  10. Matches
  11. Logs
  12. Hair
  13. Knives
  14. Jacks
  15. Buttons
  16. Hoops
  17. Forks
  18. Glass
  19. Tops
  20. Spools
  21. Thimbles
  22. Ribbons
  23. Blocks
  24. Cardboard boxes
  25. Wooden boxes
  26. Wooden crates
  27. Steel crates
  28. Plastic milk cartons
  29. Upside down buckets
  30. Jack-in-the-boxes
  31. Feces
  32. Magnifying glasses
  33. Marbles
  34. Dead animals
  35. Sock puppets
  36. Mousetraps
  37. Tinfoil
  38. Hammers
  39. Blasting caps
  40. Balloons
  41. Scissors
  42. Chutes and ladders. No, real chutes and real ladders.
  43. Rattles
  44. Tiddlywinks
  45. Slinkys
  46. Cans
  47. Abandoned refrigerators
  48. Loose teeth
  49. Spoons
  50. Horseshoes
  51. Mars Polar Landers
  52. Straws
  53. Squirt guns
  54. Genuine Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-Shot Lightning Loader Range Model Air Rifles
  55. Cork guns
  56. Laser pointers
  57. Zip guns
  58. Tec-9s
  59. AK-47s
  60. Stinger surface-to-air missiles
  61. Darts
  62. Game Boys
  63. Suction cups
  64. Trains
  65. Trucks
  66. Big Wheels
  67. Sheep
  68. Beer kegs
  69. Checkers
  70. Pokémon
  71. Eleanor Roosevelt
  72. Pentagrams
  73. Dental floss
  74. Library paste
  75. Airplane glue
  76. Speedballs
  77. Wheelos
  78. Legos
  79. Tinker toys
  80. Spoons
  81. Rotting fruit
  82. Fishing lures
  83. Close and Plays
  84. Cellophane
  85. Condoms
  86. Dad’s lighter fluid
  87. Shellfish
  88. Other people’s mail
  89. Paddle balls
  90. Colorforms
  91. Etch-a-Sketch
  92. Rubber bands
  93. Sno globes
  94. Skin
  95. Shaving cream.
  96. Cows
  97. Bird nests
  98. Lug nuts
  99. Speculums
  100. Weebos

    Will Durst can personally recommend most of these.


    Top 100 foods

    1. Gruel
    2. Potatoes
    3. Mud
    4. Soup
    5. Stew
    6. Goulash
    7. Paella
    8. Gravy
    9. Chowder
    10. Mush
    11. Gumbo
    12. Cioppino
    13. Consomme
    14. Bouillon
    15. Yosenabe
    16. Gazpacho
    17. Bouillabaisse
    18. Poi
    19. Borscht
    20. Shoes
    21. Grubs
    22. Algae
    23. Baba ganoush
    24. Grass
    25. Berries
    26. Seeds
    27. Nuts
    28. Roots
    29. Mushrooms (good)
    30. Scum
    31. Eggs Benedict
    32. Turnips
    33. Bacon Double Cheeseburgers
    34. Rocks
    35. Boogers
    36. Squirrel
    37. Rocky Mountain Oysters
    38. Carrots.
    39. Jerky
    40. Apples
    41. Bourbon balls
    42. Mushrooms (bad)
    43. Bananas
    44. Corn
    45. Rice
    46. Oats
    47. Wheat
    48. Cous cous
    49. Polenta
    50. Crab bisque
    51. Chicken
    52. Cow
    53. Sheep
    54. Pig
    55. Frog
    56. Carp
    57. Clam dip
    58. Microwave butter-flavored popcorn
    59. Ice cream
    60. Haggis
    61. Rumaki
    62. Kim chee
    63. Balut
    64. Fudge brownies
    65. Coq au vin
    66. Nutria
    67. Beets
    68. Chow chows
    69. Meat-lovers stuffed-crust pizza
    70. Cheese danish
    71. Kreplach
    72. Dumplings
    73. Matzoh
    74. Gyoza
    75. Garlic parmesan croutons
    76. Fritters
    77. Jujy fruits
    78. Sesame noodles
    79. Pigs in a blanket
    80. Chiccarones
    81. Fresh Cook’d Potato Chips
    82. Memphis barbecue
    83. Cousin’s Special
    84. Almond windmill cookies
    85. Thasos olives with red pepper flakes
    86. Mashed potatoes with wasabi, caramelized onions and roasted garlic
    87. Fettucine carbonera
    88. Thanksgiving dinner
    89. Broiled oysters
    90. Diana’s Meat Pie at Hunan on Sansome in San Francisco
    91. Mr. Beef’s Italian Beef
    92. Crawfish Etouffe.
    93. Stilton cheese
    94. Usinger’s Bratwurst
    95. Lobster Thermidor
    96. PB&J
    97. Philly cheese steaks
    98. Horse
    99. Tinfoil
    100. Prunes

    (Will Durst admits this list may get a little personal near the end.)


    Top 100 colors

    1. Blue
    2. Red
    3. Yellow
    4. Green
    5. Black
    6. White
    7. Brown
    8. Grey
    9. Purple
    10. Pink
    11. Orange
    12. Violet
    13. Maroon
    14. Olive
    15. Tan
    16. Silver
    17. Gold
    18. Bronze
    19. Crimson
    20. Pine
    21. Royal blue
    22. Sky blue
    23. Midnight blue
    24. Navy blue
    25. Indigo
    26. Scarlet
    27. Lime
    28. Grape
    29. Pumpkin
    30. Eggplant
    31. Forest
    32. Blonde
    33. Peach.
    34. Plum
    35. Day-glo
    36. Gray
    37. Dark brown
    38. Khaki
    39. Light brown
    40. Baby-poop brown
    41. Chocolate
    42. Beige
    43. Mustard
    44. Burnt Sienna
    45. Cream
    46. Sepia
    47. Butter
    48. Off white
    49. Near white
    50. White, only less than
    51. Ivory
    52. Bone
    53. Eggshell
    54. Sand
    55. Champagne
    56. Pearl
    57. Parchment
    58. Vanilla
    59. Taupe
    60. Stone
    61. Buff
    62. Mauve
    63. Ice
    64. Watermelon
    65. Hemp
    66. Turquoise
    67. Cinnamon
    68. Periwinkle
    69. Tortoise shell
    70. Charcoal
    71. Vermilion
    72. Rust
    73. Cayenne
    74. Cilantro
    75. Raspberry
    76. Lavender
    77. Persimmon
    78. Espresso
    79. Merlot
    80. Burgundy
    81. Rose
    82. Beaujolais
    83. Sage
    84. Blush
    85. Hyacinth
    86. Yellow green
    87. Green yellow
    88. Moss
    89. Brick
    90. Coral
    91. Teal
    92. Chrome
    93. Jade
    94. Ruby
    95. Emerald
    96. Mahogany
    97. Licorice
    98. Puce
    99. Fuchsia
    100. Cerise

    The Durst Case Scenario appears every week on the MoJo Wire, except when it doesn’t.