Campaign Memories and Alka-Seltzer Dreams
In which our man Will Durst lays Presidential Campaign 2000 to rest with a compendium of his favorite moments of the past 12 months.
"Will," you say, "there can't possibly be any good memories among the thousands of laughable, absurd, ludicrous moments our two lovable major political parties have provided us over the past 12 months."
Well no, dear friends, there are not. Nonetheless, I like making lists. So, I have exhaustively sifted through the gaffes, scams, and blunders of the past campaign, and here are the ones I can remember.
- Iowa Republican debate: John McCain is asked if he would keep Alan Greenspan on as chair of the Federal Reserve. McCain says that not only would he retain Greenspan, but if Big Alan were to die, McCain would prop him up and put sunglasses on him like in "Weekend at Bernie's." What he doesn't mention is the precedent for this in Republican politics: That's what they did with Reagan during his entire second term.