the DIDDLY award
<b>THE “I’M NOT A DOCTOR BUT I PLAY ONE ON CAPITOL HILL” AWARD,</b> bestowed for advances in congressional oversight of science. And the nominees are …
Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.), who convened a hearing on Internet smut and remained straight-faced while being advised that pornography is a leading cause of breast implants. Later, the abstemious congressman heard how porn causes the direct release of the most perfect addictive substance. Say what? That is, said one witness, it causes masturbation, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin cant do, in effect.
Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa), who told Roll Call that he opposes Medicare funding for Viagra and Levitra. Is it the governments business to provide those funds and resources so that old men can have sex when they want? the congressman asked, addingwithout ironythat this kind of growth in government was never envisioned by our Founding Fathers.