Breaking the Silence
Taking away battered women's kids
When award-winning documentary filmmakers Catherine Tatge and Dominique Lasseur set out to chronicle the effect of domestic violence on children, the husband and wife team imagined theyíd be spending most of their time researching approaches to therapeutic healing. What they found instead was a system that routinely penalizes women who are victims of domestic violence by favoring their abusers in battles over child custody.
While there are a growing number of courts responsive to the specific needs of domestic violence victims (see Order in the Court), most family violence cases bounce women from court to court in a judicial system that takes no account of their unique circumstance. The scenario Tatge and Lasseur encountered time and again goes like this: A woman separates from her abuser and files for divorce. The father, who has shown little prior interest in the children, decides he wants joint or sole custody. The judge, seeing no link between spousal battering and child abuse, grants the request. "The abuser files motion after motion to slowly gain more custody of the kids," says Lasseur, who first became aware of the issue while working on a documentary about victims of domestic violence five years ago. "In some cases he gains full legal and physical custody of the kids."
The problem, Lasseur says, is that studies have shown that in cases where the father chooses to seek some form of custody over the motherís objections, there is a high probability that he has either battered the mother, abused the children or both. However, if the mother accuses the father of child abuse in court, the judge could suspect she is motivated by revenge and to reject the accusation as false.
Lasseur attributes this pervasive misperception to what he calls "an anti-woman bias in court" and to a theory called parental alienation. First introduced by Connecticut psychologist Richard Gardner in the mid-1980's, the theory states that women will concoct stories of physical and sexual child abuse out of vindictiveness toward their former partners. Though the theory has been denounced as junk science, it has caught on among batterer's defense attorneys and father's rights groups, as well as in the courts. "When they get to court, what does the judge see? The abuser usually has the better job, owns the house, has more money, and like all abusers, has a great talent to be together and likeable," Lasseur says. "The woman is upset, emotional, she comes undone. Itís like, wow, a crazy woman."
The anti-battered-woman phenomenon in child custody battles was first explored in Small Justice, a 2002 documentary by Garland Waller. Since then it has become a major battleground for the battered women's movement. "What's happening is threatening to undo the past 20 years of progress," Lasseur says. "Now you have police officers who explicitly tell women, if you are in a custody battle and you donít want to lose your kids, donít mention sexual abuse or domestic violence."
Lasseur and Tatgeís hour-long documentary, Breaking The Silence: Childrenís Stories, is scheduled to air nationally on PBS in October.
For more information visit tatgelassuer.com.
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This article is nonsense. My ex-wife beats my 10 year old son and although she has drawn blood twice and left burises two other times, his cries fall of def ears becasue she is a women and no one believes a women could do such thing. If she where the man and I was the women, the children would have already been removed from her custody.
I am sorry to hear about
I am sorry to hear about your wife beating your son...not right! I am against any sort of violence, whether inflicted by a man or woman, on ANYONE! Nobody deserves it, especially our innocent children. In my personal experience though, my husband is the one who is abusive and tries to make up lies that I was abusive or unsupportive of him in our 9 year relationship (6 of which we were married, now we're separated for the last 18 months). He has even tried twice and had his girlfried try once to call CPS on my saying I was hurting my kids. The first time he did it was retaliation last year when I first left him, pressed charges (it was the 3rd time pressing charges ) for choking me while I was pregnant, holding a loaded pistol to my skull threatening to kill me and our unborn daughter while our oldest daughter was asleep in the bed next to me, pushing me, shoving me out of a moving vehicle, abandoning me on the street while I was pregnant, slamming my arm in a car door to keep me from getting the keys so he wouldn't kidnap our kids inside the car, slapping me, and then choked me again in front of all 3 of our daughters til I was unconscious). Then after he got out of jail this summer, he tried to call CPS on me again saying my boyfriend who lives 80 miles away and I hardly ever see is hurting my kids. CPS keeps finding nothing to prove these accusations and said that if he keeps trying to make unfounded reports against me they'll prosecute him! But he keeps lying, violating court orders, including the restraining order and because he has a fancy attorney and has his girlfriend, her parents, and his parents believing his lies and giving him money, I am loosing more and more time with my kids! It's a sad system that rewards the wrong parent and I will pray for you and your son that the truth prevails! Trust in the Lord! He can and will work miracles...for all of us! God Bless!
It's not only nonsense - but the ombudsman for BOTH PBS and CPB came out in criticizm of this supposed documentary.
The fact that one of the main female charachters complaining she was discriminated against had been convicted of assault and child abuse point to what an absurd story this really is.
Bias agaist WOMEN is family court? Nonsense.
this article states the truth...this happened to my daughter...her attorney robbed her of $18,000, for his part in this abuse...he too, probably is abusive to someone in his life...men seemed to be believed over women...they lie better or something...shame shame on those who choose to be abusive to the one(s) they should protect...we girls dont look at you as a hero, nor much of a man.
My ex paid The Father Resource Center and was able to get a restraining order on me through the Chula Vista courts as a Victim of Domestic Violence. Police report dd not indicate any abuse. My ex never showed any interest in our two daughters until he filed for a divorce. My ex diagnosed with depression using Prozac and drinking, slowly gain sole and physical custody of our two daughters We need more people to tell the truth and to stop this injustices corrupted money making system who use children for their benefit. What kind of American system do we have?
Its tr[deleted]e, I was [deleted]onvi[deleted]ted o[deleted] domesti[deleted] violen[deleted]e. No poli[deleted]e report, no prior. Eje[deleted]ted [deleted]rom my home and home based b[deleted]siness. A [deleted]ampaign o[deleted] terror thr[deleted] the [deleted]o[deleted]rts over a 15 month period thr[deleted] poli[deleted]e reports alleging violations o[deleted] the restraining order ens[deleted]ed. [deleted]inally the home wrea[deleted]er joins the [deleted]ampaign with an allegation. A[deleted]ter 4 days in Los [deleted]olinas and [deleted]sing my rent money [deleted]or bail I [deleted]ind mysel[deleted] homeless (than[deleted] God [deleted]or [deleted]riends) and j[deleted]st today I will [deleted]inally get to see my [deleted]hildren [deleted]nder the new s[deleted]pervised visitation order. It's my [deleted]nderstanding that my 5 year old da[deleted]ghter who hasn't wet the bed sin[deleted]e 18 months old is now wetting on a reg[deleted]lar basis. How will they s[deleted]rvive? Where is the reso[deleted]r[deleted]es to review these [deleted]ases? Good Lord pray [deleted]or my [deleted]hildren.
There is a growing epidemic of fathers taking kids, because they have the money, mom does not,taking advantage of system and brainwashing kids, many men from General Motors
Lets pray for our kids and ex-spouses to stop the alienation from our kids,brainwashing as well. I understand kids need to be safe. I lost my kids, unjustly 4 years ago still fighting for them,dont gove up on your kids moms you can get them back!!!!
My ex works at GM along with his wife who does not have her own son,they had me arrested after I lost my job in a hospital of 10 years, wrote nasty letters to the judge asking for maxiumum jail time so he could have 140 dollars a week from me. He also posted my pic in sons classroom, asking to call police if anyone saw me. I used to work in er, nicu and nbn, and am a very good mom,I was set up by school teacer, police and ex and still fighting for my babies.
My ex kicked me in stomach during a struggle in 1999 after I told him I was pregnant, he had is girlfriend lie (we were married at the time ,lie and say I attacked him).He took me to court 9 months pregnant trying to have me prosecuted, he lost after he slipped and admitted to grabbong and pushing me,case was thrown out. My ex did not want me ok or happy and did not want to pay me child support. He tried to take my kids before and did in 2004.
My exhusband found me as a teenage girl from a bad home when he was in his twenties. What started with lobster dinners and lavish compliments led to shoving, swearing, emotional abuse, intimidation, and eventually physical assault including being choked, molested in a bed with my young daughter in the same bed. Finally, after a wrist injury when he forced the children out of my hands while he was angry and out of control and then blamed me for the injury I called the police asking that they tell him it was not my fault if he assaulted me. They decided they had to arrest him. I was so glad to have him out of the house and be safe I didn't risk pursuing it and pled marital and it was dropped. I had to raise two children and thought they needed their father. He continued to be emotionally abusive including harassment and intimidation in 1998 while I was recovering from a car accident that left me with head, spinal and other injuries as well as PTSD from seeing my father die next to me. He kept using the children to hurt me until I could barely function--abusing me and teaching my children not to respect me because I was a loser with no job. I succeeded in attending college while the children were in school graduating Magna Cum Laude but he was still constantly breaking down my self esteem. I became more disabled. When the children were old enough to stay home alone after school he sued for custody and won legal and joint physical. They were 12 and 10 and he had never cared for them longer than a week when his friend offered them all a week of vacation. He lied and had a great resume and looked like a wonderful guy. He was even a Girl Scout leader. I had no money to afford an attorney, naturally he had been careful to avoid proof, had become completely withdrawn and emotional. I testified to all of it but broke down several times under the stress and couldn't stay organized with him present. The judge decided I was lying. Two years later, he managed to bribe the older child with an XBox 360 into accusing me of abuse (there was no DSS involvement and the one time police were involved it was because my son disobeyed me including wrestling me for his cell phone taken for misbehavior and assaulting me). He won full custody with no visitation the volunteer lawyer defied my request to pursue or even postpone pending a DSS investigation based on allegations my daughter made. Again, his lawyer friend helped get the investigation dropped as "unsubstantiated" even though he refused to allow DSS in his home, refused to allow me to be present and only allowed my daughter to meet with the DSS investigator with his lawyer friend present--the same friend who mocked me saying "oh, you've been raped" and laughed when I asked for help. Right at this moment, I'm waiting on the outcome after my son physically prevented my daughter from boarding a bus to come here because she wouldn't go to her father's because according to her, he hits her "too hard", he yells all the time, he expresses inappropriate interest in her breasts, he refuses to remove his dresser from her bedroom requiring him to come into her room while she's asleep to get his clothing (ex, daughter and son live alone in a 3 BR appt--the third bedroom goes empty because he insists on sleeping in the livingroom so they cannot use the tv or computer in the morning). He refuses to allow her to come here when she asked. He doesn't allow her to make phone calls before 7 PM because he has no land line and it would cost money--she is shy and only has one real friend. He got an agreement to claim both kids on his taxes (40k+ salary) in exchange for covering all their uninsured medical and dental then turned around and looted the children's trust funds to pay for their braces and kept the extra money (all their medical expenses are covered through Masshealth due to my disability). He pays nothing. He coaches all extracurriculars. Acts as a "Tax Unit Manager" for a financial company. Serves on the library board of directors and the Girl Scout Council and the board of a nonprofit that made the news several times recently when the executive director (his best friend)was praising an employee arrested for the rape of his 12 year old sister in law and assaulting the girl's character. I have no money and no where to go and the stress and fear of leaving home has left me disabled and taken as terrible toll on my health. My state--MA--doesn't allow restraining orders for emotional abuse even with a history of physical abuse, ringing my doorbell repeatedly late at night, swearing at me and both kids, hanging up on us. Everyone thinks he's a saint. I spend most of my time desperately hoping to do the best to support my daughter until she's safely on her own. Most days I'm sorry I was ever born. I can't leave because she's in danger but I had to hospitalize myself during the divorce because I was ready to die and I've developped medical problems from the stress. I'm 35 and my life has been destroyed for a mistake I made at 16 that the court won't help me escape and has helped my abuser more and more. My life has been destroyed. My potential career. My son, who has threatened to kill me and himself and broken doors. My daughter, who is afraid to even ask for help and is now in danger. But no one believes me. I have no where to go and no support. When I tested negative for fatal diseases I was upset, I felt a loss because at least it would have been a way out. I'll never be free. Why doesn't anyone understand that these men target women with no resources to escape and act like saints to cover their true behavior? It's impossible to escape with children involved.
This type of activity is why I founded, www.FamilyLawCourts.com.
Of course I never dreamed it would result in Court facilitated child abuse; but that's exactly what happened.
And then there's the matter of fake attorneys, Google "Ron Lais" and fake therapists.
And judges who know but don't really care. After all, the business of government is business; and so Family Court judges generate a lot of business.
As the wife of a police officer, I can tell you that they arrest PLENTY of women for domestic violence and abuse. Everytime I hear someone try to play up how victimized they are by the system because they are men, I have to doubt their veracity. I'm sure there are variations in enforcement in different areas, but I doubt it's to the extent that some claim. If you compare the level of violent crimes committed by women to men, it's not hard to conclude that while women are becoming more violent, overall, the tendency to resort to violece as a first response to stress is much less than in men. I don't think it means women are better, but perhaps they've been socialized a bit differently. If you check into the numbers, you might be surprised to find that the police will arrest anyone they think is guilty of abuse. Often BOTH go into custody and the kids go into foster care. It's hard enough to get claims of abuse to be heard without going the route of being a victim. If you're a man or a woman and a victim of abuse, speak up. If your just trying to use the system as a scapegoat for your problems, you are part of the problem. There has been enough abuse of the system by both genders to go around.
Stop complaining if you can't get an adequate response to protect your children, and keep trying until someone listens. If nothing else, try to present yourself in a credible manner when you state your case.
After experiencing the ache of losing children, along with reading some of the replies here.. there are some I agree with with both pro and con... but I am too in a situation where a mother is taken advantage of at their weakest, most vulnerable state. Last year, I had lost my money, my house and my son practically overnight. My ex-husband was a control freak, a very self centered man. He once told me that he couldn't stand my guts because I was "too nice". Every argument was a case for a divorce in his eyes... The first time he demanded he wanted one was on our honeymoon night because he wanted to "party" some more, when I wanted to be alone with him. During the years we were married he went out drinking every night. When my son was born that didn't deter him in a bit to stay home. Instead, it gave him more of a reason to escape any responsibility. He was someone who wanted his cake and eat it too. He was too, also great at putting on a "false" front. When I did any "manly" type chores around the house, such as painting rooms, etc., he demanded that I remain silent about it, not tell anyone. He didn't want anyone to know that I was doing it and not him. He also felt very strongly that working and providing for a family is enough... anything more is asking too much. His idea was, that he made the money, therefore he can do with it whatever he wishes, spend his own time in doing what he wanted alone or with his friends, and in turn, leaving us with the leftovers. Then one night he came home drunk, packed his bags and left. No reason, just told me that he didn't want to be married anymore, and left. I was a stay at home mom, out of work for 10 years. I was totally alone. No real family of my own to turn to but an alcoholic father who was also abusive in his own right, no support system. I started spiraling downwards into depression on which on top of, my self esteem was a 0. At the time he left, I truly believed that I was nothing but a worthless animal taking up space. A lot of people don't realize how bad a situation can get. To the point where a woman can really lose her whole sense of being.. to the point where she can't function doing the simplest things anymore, because it has been drummed into her head time and time again that she is too completely worthless. And the sad part is, that most of these women start out as being the most kindest, the most committed partner in the marriage relationship. They don't realize their naivety until it is too late. I know I sound bitter. It took me a long time to recognize this behavior without blaming myself.
Well, After my ex husband left, it was just me and my son. He was 8 at the time and dealing with that along with the situation was not easy. I tried to make life for him as normal as possible, but between playtime and mealtimes were hidden tears in the bathroom and disguised faces. Once a week evenings to a support group and daily lawyer visits. Piling bills and mortgage increases. My divorce lawyer cost me thousands. I had borrowed money from my father's estate. My father suddenly came down with a form of dementia caused by many years of drinking alcohol. I had to pay my father back all of my settlement from my divorce so he could be placed in a suitable nursing home.
I vaguely remember that day. My son was in school. My father's lawyer coming to the door, informing me I had to pay back everything in one lump sum. I remember running out onto my lawn screaming and crying. My neighbor running out terrified. She didn't know what to do, she called the police. I didn't know what I was screaming at the time, but the police informed me that I was screaming that "I wanted to die". I told them my son was in school, for his father to pick him up, I remember that. Afterwards, they took me to the hospital. They concluded that I was suicidal, and placed me in a psychiatric ward for a week and a half.
By the time I got out, I was worse instead of better, not only was I in a worse financial situation as I was in before (the hospital bill was $50.000.00) but I was also served papers by my ex-husbands' lawyer for temporary custody of my son. I later found out that he had a girlfriend with a son that was also close to my son's age.
So... what does a person like me do in my situation? It is not likely that someone can pick themselves up "by their bootstraps", charge out and re-manage their life... I had no job, no place of security, no family and most of all, very little self worth. What did I do? Well of course I had to sell my house... which I did at less than market value, actually owing instead of gaining... I had to then turn to the state's "emergency assistance". Which I have to say, that these "strangers", that work for the State government has been kinder to me than any other person has been, not a doctor, or "friends", etc has been throughout this whole ordeal. I was placed once in a motel and twice into state assisted "hub" housing, which I am still "existing" in today.
That horrible day which this all started was October 25th, 2006, and I AM STILL trying to overcome. I am still in a continual state of unbelievable stress and now having to prepare myself for a "battle" with a man that has absolute no care, no concern whatsoever but to entertain his new girlfriend, so i can see my son on a normal basis, and get some type of custody back.
Now, I am not condoning those that are not in the the same situation or those that are "pretending" they are. Those trying to use the "abuse excuse" to justify their own wrongs is abominable.
But for those women unfortunate enough to find themselves in abusive situations and then deserted, then taken advantage of because of their present mental condition after abuse from their former spouses... that's different. Please try to understand, no body, no woman, no mother expects something like this to happen to them, or to her children.
If someone wants to keep in touch, for companionship or for support, etc... or if someone wants to offer further help, please respond...
I think the problem is that women are wrongly suspected of making up charges against their spouses/partners because a few women may have at some point. A lot of people, men and women, think that everyone of the opposite sex is just like the rest. Just as many women think all men are thick-skulled, brutish pigs (which is emphatically not true,) many men think all women are vengeful, acid-tempered (fill in canine-related epithet here) who will make up outrageous lies to get what they want (also emphatically not true.) Because some women are vindictive, some men (and probably some women) think we all are. The injustice towards women in this case is inexcusable, but the courts of America will never be 100% fair to women, to men, to black, white, Hispanic, Asian, young, old, whatever, because the courts are run by human beings, and no human being can be fair to everyone at all times. That's why we need people like those filmmakers mentioned in the article, to tell people where the injustice is so we can figure out how to fix it. We can't create a perfect world, but I think we're at least able to make a world where children feel safe with their own parents. (PS: In commenting on this comment, which somebody probably will, don't tear it apart: I'm a sixteen-year-old doing a report on domestic violence for school and I don't know everything about the issue, so any instances of naivete or ignorance are excusable.)
This article is EXACT to my experience in trying to get away from an abuser/batterer for over a quarter of a century. Lawyers and "therapists" just take your money and no justice or real change is provided. STOP GIVING THEM MONEY! The systems are broken. The only relief I've found is in having God guide my life--miracles have happened, so that I know that since no one will provide true justice in this life, it will be provided in the next. "The best revenge is living well." Fight how you can, but giving anyone your money will not create any real justice for the victim, I promise. We live in a time when those who have power and money will win--integrity is lost--but there is hope. Life is short. Love your little ones in the small moments you get and how you can, even in your prayers. And know that God will make everything right in the end. Don't let your abuser or the corrupt system turn you into something lower than your true self. Keep fighting how your conscience dictates, but it is not wise to buy into the idea that anyone you pay is genuinely interested in what is in the best interest of your children or you. The best things in life are free. God is free. He can overcome ALL THINGS. Trust Him. Trust yourself. And do what genuinely needs to be done.
You are so right...this
You are so right...this article is exactly what is happening to me also...but God is bigger and better than all of this. He knows all and sees through my exes lies and manipulations. I spend thousands on an attorney who claimed to defend victims of domestic violence rights but did nothing for my case when he had the chance (when my ex finally was sentenced to jail for 6 months for what he did to me and the children). All my attorney wanted for payments, knowing that I was without support from my ex, my family didn't have anything to give me, I already owed people money from my initial retainer, and I was on welfare to support me and my 3 daughters! My ex doesn't even have a job, refuses to get one telling the courts he has more time to watch them, won't pay the court ordered support to me and keeps getting more visitation with my kids who are scared of him because of his foul temper and intimidation (not to mention all the physical, emotional, mental, and financial abuse they witnessed him do to me). It's a horrible system that indeed does punish the victim and reward the abuser. I have never lied about the things he did to me but he lied and tried to say I abused him! I tried to give him many chances to rehabilitate because I am Christian and I didn't want to get divorced, but he is a "fake" Christian and used it all against me saying I was just giving up on the relationship, never taking any responsibility for 8 years of abuse, 4 police reports, 3 arrests, and 2 restraining orders I've gotten to protect myself and my kids. My only refuge at this point is God! I have no money, no lawyer, and a judge who only cares about trying to force me to go to mediation and "settle" with a man that consistently abuses me and is now using the system to abuse my. My kids are the ones who suffer for it but I pray for them constantly, that they be protected, and that God grants them discernment to know the truth. If Christ is for us, who can be against us? That's the truth...that's the only truth!
I spent over 100K proving that paying lawyers and "therapists" does not do anything to bring about justice. You have better things to do with your money--like improving yourself or helping your kids how you can.
He was an emotional abuser. He still is. Though he never sued for custody, he tried to bribe for it. And he has spent the last three and a half years using the court system to hijack my life and impoverish me and my child. His manipulations seem to be rewarded while my honesty punished. No one understands. They tell me to end it. How? I thought I was when I got brave enough to walk away. My lawyer tells me that he feels sorry for me, but that this is the way this system works, be patient. It's hard to be patient when you are working full time, at a decent job, and are still living in poverty.
I know this is an old article.However I'm on a mission to expose media bias(or incompetance as some would call it)where ever it exist..My situation started in 1999 my wife had been unhappy for years.She was psssed at me again.And left with our 5yr. old daughter.She packed bags while i was sleeping that morning.I have NEVER struck her or given her any reason to fear me. As a matter of fact that was the frustrating part for her she did'nt have anything she could use against me.On the phone I told her i did not care if she came back but you'd better bring my daughter back home where she belonged.I found a lawer and tried to file an ex-parte order but did not get to the court house before it closed.I was told to be at the court house to file as soon as they opened the door. I got home that night at 8pm there was a knock at the door.It was local police saying I had ten minutes to pack my personal belongings and be out of the house.To leave all keys and all personal ways of access into the house.I was not allowed to within 150 yards of my house, my wife,my daughter,or any place that we frequented together.My wife had a friend at domestic resources that helped her get a restraing order, no questions asked that I was a threat to her.After dealing with a prejudice court system I made no progress until I fired my lawyer and represented my self and had all accusations thrown out.the Judge actually told me I could move back into the house.But after seeing how predudice the courts were.And the fact women could get a restraining order no questions asked. I WAS SCARED TO DEATH at how much power the courts have given to pissed off women.The last hearing of the restraining order was to take my daughter away for 18 months. Thank God I fired my lawyer.One of the main things I found out about the court system: A woman has to have literally tried to kill the kids before they will take them away from a mother.Because even abuse doesn't matter as far as woman are concerned.. So if you woman have lost custody of your kids you are lying about your situation...
Oh, no gentlemen. Not nonsense. My neighbor's children were taken from her in just such a manner. And I personally saw the consequences of her even RETURNING a phone call to one of them. I had to go bail her out, traveling from South to North Jersey to do so. That abuser is now on my @#$! list.
After 7 years of costudy with my son and fogeting all the lies my X-wife told to get me out of the house the jugde died. The Judge stated, " I will be the Judge on this case forever and stop messing with this man, " He also stated that I have two years to go after her for alimony because I became Disabled. My back looks like a robot with 10 surgeries and going. I never filed to keep peace. I have bought her new kids gifts, her new husband a job with my brother, never said no to anything.... I have spent everything I have and more to see my brainwashed son, going on 10 and on Prozac. I go to court because of lies. I am around kids all the time and have to pay to see my son. She has made my son beleive there is no God. The Group Mana (my Family) is not alowed to see him, my parents after 50 years of marrage. I could go on and say so many terrible things. Instead, if you see this. Please say a pray for my son, that he sleeps in peace
and some day we have the laughter and fun we use to share. I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. Thank you,
Jimmy
I am a victim of parental alienation. I have been working with pregnant and parent teens for 12 years. Even with my background working with teens. My ex & his Attorney were in conspiracy with my Attorney, Therapist, daughter's Attorney and Judge. The method this professionals use to damage psychologically and torcher innocent children is unconstitutional. This professional have been referring court ordered clients to each other, only to make money and get a higher statues in their position using manipulating techniques to gather information for their convenience is of a organized criminal minds.
Please help this children have a better future.
Im going through this exact issue right now. but in response to a comment made by Doug a year ago: He can not call this artice junk when every case differs from couple to couple. Please try to be less ignorant. Men and wemon lie.
The best thing to do is file a police report every time he batters or abuse you and go to the hospital. I only filed a report once, but when he later tried to take custody of the kids in our divorce, the evidence was their against him. If they are abusive physically they are also emotionally abusive.
I just came back to my husband because of this. I want to be with my kids but somehow hes got them.It sure isn't me thats the problem. I am researching this paper because I am going to college and have no job or money. I can't believe I am living in America it sure doesn't feel like it, remind me what year is this.
somewhat similar experience to Dakotas. One year and two restraining orders later - most recent dismissed at her behest, when I offered enough money - I now have to pay what amounts to ransom to see my daughters. The system is corrupt, the 'restraining order' is a tool to allow women (mostly women) to gain power and control. Period, end of discussion. I've lived it and learned things I never knew and wish weren't true.
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I was diagnosed with breast
I was diagnosed with breast cancer 13 years ago. I lived across from a
cotton field that was heavily crop dusted with pesticides. Several
nieghbors were also diagnosed with cancer, from skin, to lung cancers.
All the doctors involved felt it was enviromentally caused cancer from
the crop dusting sprays.
RO
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