Rules of the Game
1. Whenever George W uses the phrases: national
security, tax relief, activist judges or affordable
health care, drink two shots of beer.
2. Whenever George W mentions the tragic events of
911, last person to grab a toothpick, stand and salute
must drink three shots of beer. If you stab yourself
in forehead with the toothpick, drink two more shots.
3. If George W actually says, If Al Qaeda is calling
you, we want to know why. first person to finish a
whole beer gets to toss Lil Smokies at any of the
others until they finish their beer. Use the
4. If George W makes up a word like strategerie or
deteriorize drink four shots of beer.
5. If George W speaks of Hamas and repeats his earlier
statement that its good to see people are demanding
honest leadership, the first person to stop laughing
gets to drink one shot of beer then pummel Suit with
empty shot glass. No head shots.
6. Whenever George W talks about bi- partisanship, the
last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has
to eat 4 Lil Smokies.
7. If either the Vice President Dick Cheney or First
Lady Laura Bush are caught napping, last person to
sing Wake Up Little Susie, Wake Up, has to drink
three shots of beer.
8. Predict the number of applause breaks. Person
closest to correct number may then force the other
three to drink that number of shots of beer in
whatever ratio they wish.
9. Three shots of beer if he mentions New Orleans.
Five shots of beer if he mentions Brownie. Two full
beers if he mentions Abramoff.
10. Every time Tom DeLay is shown in the audience,
take turns throwing Lil Smokies at the tv. Suit sits
out. First face hit doesnt have to drink two shots of
beer. Every time Hillary Clinton is shown in the
audience, Suit throws Lil Smokies at the tv. If he
hits her face, everyone else drinks two shots of beer.
Use the toothpicks.
11. Whenever George W quotes the Bible, last person to
fall to their knees and cry Hallelujah! drinks two
shots of beer.
12. Whenever George W smirks during a standing
ovation, take turns drinking shots of beer until the
audience sits down. Do it double time if his shoulders
shake with silent laughter.
- Whoever can correctly identify in advance the person
giving the Democratic Response doesnt have to watch
- Suit gets to kick Rags hard, once if George W uses a
heartfelt story of a pulling yourself up by your
bootstraps to illustrate a point. Twice if the
regulation of large cardboard boxes is mentioned as a
security precaution. Rags gets 15 seconds to kick the
Suit if Bush reveals the subject of the anecdote is in
the audience. 30 seconds if he or she is sitting next
to Harriet Miers. 1 full minute if shes sitting next
to an astronaut.
- Suit takes home $20.
- Leftover beer, Lil Smokies and fondue pot go home