Music: Million DJ March to Unite Annoying, Headphone-Wearing Dorks

| Wed May 7, 2008 8:47 PM EDT

mojo-photo-milliondj.gifThis can't be serious. Eminem associate DJ Green Lantern and mixtape empresario A. Shaw have just announced The Million DJ March, a series of activities and rallies in support of the good old disk jockey, to be held August 28-30 in Washington D.C. Wait a minute, I'm a DJ. Why do I need to rally? Well, in a press release, Shaw alleges that "DJs do not get fully recognized for the work they do… Label and major businesses who reap the rewards of default publicity need to pay attention and give more recognition and financial compensation to DJs for the promotion they provide, without which music sales would surely suffer." Well, okay, yes, we play music, people should be happy we do that. Hooray us. But why all this marching? The press release continues:

DJs… are often harassed and legally penalized for their promotional efforts even when those efforts have been solicited directly by the labels and artists themselves: an arrangement that is known about throughout the industry but kept "on the low."

Hmm, harassment and legal penalties. Are you talking about what happens when you sell thousands and thousands of unauthorized mixtape CDs out of the back of your car?

After the jump: hey, I pressed "play," that'll be $25,000.

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Either way, speaking as a DJ, I can say with great confidence that DJs are 99% douchebag losers, with our dippy hairdos and "Get Low" remixes and MySpace profiles and shouting out for the crowd to make some noise just because we pressed "play." Ugh. Moreover, like a lot of the showbiz professions, DJs either make almost no money because they're playing for 15 friends at the local beer hall, or way, way too much money because they dated Nicole Richie . (Actually he's a talented DJ and a nice guy, but still, $10,000-$25,000 per set?)

Okay, sure, Grandmaster Flash, astounding genius, and yes, I've enjoyed amazing sets by everybody from Q-Bert to Erol Alkan. There's as much art to a good DJ set as there is to any musical performance, or a photo collage, or whatever. But if cover bands marched on Washington to demand appreciation for helping promote their near-namesakes, people might find it a little ridiculous. Or, come to think of it, completely awesome. Can we get Superdiamond and No Way Sis to headline?

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