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Jesus: Twitter Is a Waste of Time
Annoyed by non-believers micro-blogging their hourly moods, eating, and exercise habits?
Thank God, Gospelr just solved that messy societal problem for you. And what do you know, Christians are just as boring as everyone else.
A quick scan of Tweets on Gospelr, the Christian Twitter knockoff, reveals such minutiae as:
Adrian:
"I had an awesome night at the KPC men's group here in Rogers."
and
Jesustxtswithu:
"Checking out Gospelr, I must say glad to finally be able to "follow" people who Follow Him. Greetings <3."
Jesustxtswithu's sentiment is, of course, the ostensible reason for the site to exist. But the thing about following people who follow Jesus is that, much like people who don't, they mostly post things like:
"I have a newly opened bag of coffee on my bookshelf at work. The aroma of the ground coffee is tempting me to brew another pot."
Christians have always promoted sites dedicated to Christians and the "Christian lifestyle." Faith-based Internet users can search and edit Christian Wikipedia, the Christian version of Wikipedia. There's even Xianz, "the Faith Based MySpace."
There's an obvious reason for this. It actually makes a good deal of sense for Christian singles, for instance, wary of the pre-marital, homosexual, or just casual sex endorsed by many secular dating sites, to attempt to guide their dating life using Christian alternatives like ChristianCafe or ChristianMingle.
But does Twitter really need a Christian alternative? YouTube (hence ChristianTube)—makes more sense. But until BangR really does exist or boring Tweets become a sin, Christians are safe with secular Twitter.
—Daniel Luzer





























Finally it comes clear, why I can't rise above my unfortunate fixation on logic and clear thinking, to embrace the muddled and circular logic of "belief." It's because I've been giving in to TEMPTATION all this time!
Why, every morning, I brew up a fresh cup of temptation (and the smell is heavenly!)!
Join me in my cups, dear brothers and sisters, and together we'll put a new spin on "fellowship." As we each in unison sip the steaming brew, we can commune in blissful elegy for the beans-that-were, the beans-that-are, and the beans-that-ever-shall-be.
Gad bless the beans.
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