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Red States Love Porn
They're red from all the chafing! In the latest installment of Irony and Hypocrisy Weekly, a study has shown that traditionally conservative states consume the most online pornography. Okay, the study (pdf link) was actually in the Journal of Economic Perspectives, and it looked at zip codes of credit cards used for "online adult entertainment" between 2006 and 2008. Researchers found that Utah led the way in sexy interweb fun times, with 5.47 subscribers per 1000 broadband users, followed by Alaska and Mississippi. Out of the top ten porn-using states, only Hawaii and Florida voted for Obama in the 2008 elections, and I think Hawaii is excused because they're so far away from, you know, actual sex with people they don't live next door to. Of course, one could also ascribe the higher online porn usage rates in red states to the simple fact that these states have often made in-person porn buying more difficult, but I prefer to think of it as another example of Larry Craig Syndrome: those who doeth protest too much are at home having a wanketh.
Researchers also found "marginally" higher porn subscription rates in the 27 states that had (at that time) passed anti-gay marriage laws, and in states where surveys show conservative positions on sexuality and gender roles. But in a boon to church-goers, there was also a slight dip in porn subscriptions on Sunday, although the oh-so-cynical researchers noted that this meant only that these people "shift their consumption of adult entertainment to other days of the week." Note to self: promote online porn company more aggressively on Saturdays and Mondays.
Poor study design
With the ubiquity of free porn available on the internet, I would imagine that people who use subscription based sites are in the minority of internet porn consumers. Since the study does not take into account how many people visit free internet porn sites, it really does not reflect actual porn consumption distribution. However it does show that people who aren't bright enough to figure out how to access free porn tend to vote Republican =)
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That was totally my next though too! This may just be a graph of, shall we say, generously, "internet fluency"?
Ha ha ha ha.......
Actually the study makes perfect sense. Conservatives were hammered that anti-sex agenda into their heads when they were young. You know, no sex before marriage, sex comes from the devil etc. These people can't and will never be able to have "normal" sex in their life. Some of them search for solutions and decide going to hookers where they have diaper sex and all kind of abnormal sex because they are not able anymore to have the "normal" way. Actually the life of conservatives is really miserable which explains their frustration and hate towards anyone who doesn't share their views. Just poor pitiable people.
I think the study was first published by the New Scientist.
Coincidentally...
Coincidentally, there have been similar studies showing that conservatives are more likely to have extra-marital affairs, and be swingers. There's some irony for ya!