Nancy Grace Makes Her Own Gravy

Though my girl Amy Poehler did her justice, there's really no need to parody Nancy Grace; nothing's worse than the reality. Except Grace's cluelessness as to her own need for a severe beating. Just watch her here, ripping David Smith's heart out.

He is, of course, the ex-husband of that Susan Smith (she drowned their kids and blamed, of course, a black man). I couldn't make myself watch it twice, but she's determined to know exactly how it felt thinking about his kids strapped into their seat belts so they could drown as lengthily as possible.

What a...witch. And a narcissistic one at that; if she wants to talk about it, then the topic couldn't possibly be a tad inappropriate.

Too bad I have a scruple or two. Otherwise, I'd be helming "Debra Dickerson: Beast From Hell" (whose own crew knows it).