"Chick Cars" Don't, in Fact, Castrate Men
But dude bro, if you're really worried, here's a list of the chick-iest "chick cars," courtesy of some apparently dudely dudes.
Today, in press-releases-that-make-me-feel-stabby, LeaseTrader.com (whatever the hell that is) sent me this new “research” on the top 10 “chick cars” that shrink men’s testicles or something. On top of that, they also included the seven worst places to get caught driving said “chick cars,” which include sacred dude activities like hitting the gym, drinking at a sports bar, and participating in their weekly circle jerk.
From the release:
“Every guy should know there are just some cars he should never, under any circumstances, sit behind and drive. This goes for most cars made by Toyota or Volkswagen (cars that give off estrogen vibes) and driven by a guy, should get ready to be horribly ridiculed by his buddies.”
Dude bro! I thought we talked about the whole my-car-is-not-my-penis thing. Maybe you were too distracted by my estrogen vibe to pay attention.
I suppose it’s not that surprising that the idea of a gendered car exists or that certain members of the doucheoisie wouldn’t be caught dead in a Mini Cooper. After all, driving is fraught with gender stereotypes and assumptions, which, judging by this Freakonomics series, hasn’t really changed much despite other social and cultural victories women have won in the last hundred years. We can vote! And wear pants! We’re earning more degrees and have lower insurance rates. But God forbid we try to parallel park.
If you care, here’s LeaseTrader’s list of cars that will castrate you: