Failed Koran Burners Execute Santa Instead
Some of you may remember Repent Amarillo as the far-right group whose planned Koran burning last September was foiled by the shirtless "Dude, you have no Koran!" dude. As its name suggests, the group's mission is quite simple: pressure the Texas city's 67,000 godless residents to repent for their sins and find Christ. To that end, organizers have created their own nifty "prayer map," which carefully charts various local hotspots for spirtual warfare (the group has already claimed victory for shutting down a Masonic lodge, a swingers bar, and a strip club.)
Now, Repent Amarillo has set its sights on an institution more powerful, even, than the Crystal Pistol: Santa. Here's a video the group just released, in which they execute the big man via firing squad, as part of an effort to teach kids the true meaning of Christmas. Guys, Fred Clause wasn't that bad!