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Road Trip For America's Future with Tim Murphy

2010 - %3, August

Culinary Interlude: The Case For Pork-Barrel Spending

| Tue Aug. 31, 2010 5:15 PM PDT

Why They Hate Us: Pork ribs from Arthur Bryant's in Kansas City, Missouri (Photo: Tim Murphy).Gratuitous: Ribs from Arthur Bryant's in Kansas City, Missouri (Photo: Tim Murphy).

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Is Mt. Rushmore Too Close to Hallowed Ground?

| Tue Aug. 31, 2010 3:00 AM PDT

Omaha, Nebraska—By now, I've had a little bit of time to chew over the Wounded Knee massacre monument, and it's still kind of gnawing at me. So I'll just give you a short sketch, to give you a better sense of what the place is like:

Try to imagine a national cemetery, immaculate and regimented, and then visualize the exact opposite of it, and you'll maybe get a decent mental image. When you approach the monument, grasshoppers the color of honey dijon scatter at your feet as if tossed from a see-saw, and the wind cuts through the prairie from the south like entrance music. Cook Islanders had 32 words for wind; I can't speak for the Oglala, but here on the northern plains, in the poorest patch of the richest nation on the face of the Earth, amid acres of wavy wheatgrass and milkwort and sunflowers, and badlands like so many miles of drip-castles in a desert, the wind is the life that rushes through the land when all else has gone to rest.

The cemetery—which includes the monument to the victims of the Wounded Knee massacred by US troops in 1890, along with the graves of Oglala spanning a century—sits on an elevated plot of ground with views of the valley below, provided you're standing outside the chain-link fence that surrounds the central area.

The physical monument itself, which is only a small part of the Wounded Knee cemetery, is more like a collection basket. Well-wishers have left pennies, nickels, dimes, bundles of dried prairie grasses, small rocks, suggested reading materials, feathers, incense, bottles of Dasani, a Bhutan prayer flag, and one very lonely butterscotch sucker. To complete this scene, add a few brigades of ants, because people keep on leaving food, and nothing must go to waste.

How To Make 4.6 Million Cans of Beer Disappear (Updated)

| Sat Aug. 28, 2010 3:00 AM PDT

Sacred Heart Catholic Church, Wounded Knee, South Dakota (Photo: Tim Murphy)Sacred Heart Catholic Church, Wounded Knee, South Dakota (Photo: Tim Murphy)Whiteclay, Nebraska—We'd barely gotten to the Oglala Sioux Pine Ridge reservation before we were told we should probably leave. The main road through was under construction, and we stopped to ask a woman holding a stop sign how to get to Wounded Knee. She set us straight, but then, as we were ready to go, offered some helpful advice: "Don't get out of the car."

Excuse me?

"Don't stop anywhere. Don't get out of the car."

Of course, I don't think she meant we should stop in Whiteclay either. For the uninitiated, Whiteclay is the very first outpost* you hit driving south out of the reservation, folded just under the Nebraska state line. On this trip, I've seen cities that have died and cities that have been left for dead, but I've never passed through a place quite like Whiteclay, so one-dimensional in its horror it feels undead. Maybe the best way to fully understand the town's purpose in life is to just run the numbers, Harpers Index-style:

6–14: Estimated number of full-time residents of Whiteclay.

8: Number of people I saw drinking or passed out on the sidewalk at noon on a weekday.

4: Number of full-time liquor stores.

0: Number of city adminstrative buildings, churches or civic centers.

4,600,000: Number of cans of beer sold in 2009.

90: Percentage of those beer cans that were purchased by American Indians.

You get the picture. Alcohol sales are illegal on the Pine Ridge reservation, so Whiteclay emerged, like so many fireworks shacks and casino parlors across the continent, to give its neighbors across the border a quick fix. Nice, right? It's what capitalism must have looked like to Leon Czolgosz.

The View From My Windshield: Hallowed Ground

| Fri Aug. 27, 2010 1:35 PM PDT

Wounded Knee, South Dakota (Photo: Tim Murphy)Wounded Knee, South Dakota (Photo: Tim Murphy)

A Sense of Where We Are: Texas On Our Minds

Thu Aug. 26, 2010 9:31 PM PDT


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Where the West Begins (or Doesn't)

| Wed Aug. 25, 2010 12:04 PM PDT

Interior, South Dakota—Ask any 10 sources where the West begins and you'll get 10 different answers: St. Louis tells us it begins at the Arch; Rapid City tells us it's the Black Hills; the writer William Least Heat-Moon says it's the tall-grass prairie of Chase County, Kansas. Someone in the UP once told me that the West begins at the Cumberland Gap. It's like unobtanium.

Except, I think I've actually found it.

Drive west through South Dakota, head south at Wall, and cut through the Badlands, and sooner or later find yourself in Interior, population 77, perched off to the side of the highway like a just-ripened piece of fruit.

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Caption Contest Challenge: Evil Nixon

| Wed Aug. 25, 2010 7:28 AM PDT

Rapid City, South Dakota—See that there? That's our 37th president, Richard Milhous Nixon. And while you can't see it in this photo, he's actually sitting right across from a 24-hour Hardee's just off Main Street in southwest South Dakota's largest metropolitan area. 

Since Rapid City fancies itself as the gateway to the Black Hills, its street corners are decorated with statues of all the presidents who didn't make it up onto the side of the big mountain. Calvin Coolidge is there, holding a saddle for some reason. So are Herbert Hoover and John Quincy Adams. It's Mount Rushmore's Island of Misfit Toys.

So what's even going on in this photo? Why is Nixon smiling like that? Why are his hands clasped? What's up with the menacing lizards just below the arm rests? Why is he flashing so much ankle? Did he just put a hit out on McGovern or something? What is the deal?

I have no idea, but maybe you do. Send us your best caption ideas in the comments, or ping me @timothypmurphy, and I'll post the winner later today.

The winner gets...his/her entry posted. Sorry, guys; we're on a budget here.

Profile shot below the jump, in case this one didn't do it for you.

Update: We have winner: "Release the hounds, Smithers," from commenter Eric Dana. I would also have accepted "Bring me the muggle, Nagini."

The View From My Windshield: Heavens to Bessy

| Mon Aug. 23, 2010 10:26 PM PDT

She's Really Friendly: Just don't provoke her (Photo: Tim Murphy).She's Really Friendly: Just don't provoke her (Photo: Tim Murphy).New Salem, North Dakota—North Dakota never gets no respect. Even the friends we stayed with in Fargo came up empty when we asked for suggestions on what to do on our drive through the state. South Dakota at least has Rushmore and the Badlands; North Dakota has two cities(ish) on the Minnesota border, and some nuclear silos, if you're into that kind of thing. Even our road map from the state tourism board was running out of suggestions by the time we got to Bismarck.

But if you want to blame someone for the state's emptiness, don't blame North Dakotablame the United States Senate, which brilliantly decided to split the relatively empty Dakota territory into two relatively empty states for political reasons.

Anyways, to compensate for its lack of destinations, North Dakotans have, I think, informally embarked on an elaborate mission to construct the largest sculpture of every animal found on the northern plains. Before we found "New Salem Sue," the world's largest Holstein cow at 38x50 feet, we passed signs for, among others, the world's largest sandhill crane, and the world's largest turtle. It's like Noah's Ark on HGH. And while I'm not suggesting any sort of cause-and-effect, I should also note that North Dakota's the last great place in America to find a job. So it's got that going for it.

A Sense of Where We Are: Westward Expansion

| Mon Aug. 23, 2010 2:45 AM PDT


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This Post Is Banned In Bemidji

| Sat Aug. 21, 2010 4:57 PM PDT

Not this one: Some cities do cows. Some cities do bears. Bemidji did beavers. Cue controversy (Photo: Tim Murphy).Not this one: Some cities do cows. Some cities do bears. Bemidji did beavers. Cue controversy (Photo: Tim Murphy).Bemidji, Minnesota—The most controversial piece of public art in the state of Minnesota sits on the corner of 4th Street and Beltrami Ave., in downtown Bemidji. For now. When I asked for directions at the Blockbuster outside town, I was told it had been moved. When I asked again at the supermarket, I was told it was no longer there. "But it's exactly what they say it is," said the teenaged boy at the deli counter, stifling a laugh.

"To be honest, I don't really understand why it's so controversial," say Christine Lundquist, sitting on a bench with her back to the controversy. "I guess they decided freedom of expression was no longer in the Constitution. That's how Deb wanted to paint it, and that's how it should be."

"I sit out here and read a lot. I eavesdrop—and I've only heard one negative comment. They said, 'That's disgusting!'" She rolls her eyes. "I mean, obviously it's a vagina…"