I’m Pretty Sure This Is the Grossest Moment of a Coronavirus Briefing Yet

Patrick Semansky/AP

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Today is my mom’s birthday, but because I’m on weekend duty and because my parents’ phone has been seemingly busy all day—yes, that’s a thing that can still happen in 2020—I haven’t yet had a chance to talk to her and wish her well. You should be frowning at your screen, furrowing your brows. She’s great and deserves better. 

But! At least I have President Donald Trump’s latest coronavirus briefing to keep me informed and engaged while I wait for Mom to finally get off the phone. Let’s see what the prez has to say about COVID-19 today!

Wait…whatttttt the hell is this?!

To review: Trump read the assembled press a flattering Wall Street Journal piece that included the (really poorly crafted) sentence, “By shouting out many of them by name and documenting their deeds on a daily basis, he has vivified the American way in action (once reluctantly aroused).” Then, completely unable to not turn the briefing room into a middle-school boys’ bathroom, Trump seized on the word “aroused” like only he can:

“It was hard to get it aroused.”

“And it is hard to get it aroused.”

“But we got it aroused.”

Sorry, Ma. I’ll be sure to wash my mouth out with soap before I call.

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WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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