I’m Pretty Sure This Is the Grossest Moment of a Coronavirus Briefing Yet

Patrick Semansky/AP

The coronavirus is a rapidly developing news story, so some of the content in this article might be out of date. Check out our most recent coverage of the coronavirus crisis, and subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily newsletter.

Today is my mom’s birthday, but because I’m on weekend duty and because my parents’ phone has been seemingly busy all day—yes, that’s a thing that can still happen in 2020—I haven’t yet had a chance to talk to her and wish her well. You should be frowning at your screen, furrowing your brows. She’s great and deserves better. 

But! At least I have President Donald Trump’s latest coronavirus briefing to keep me informed and engaged while I wait for Mom to finally get off the phone. Let’s see what the prez has to say about COVID-19 today!

Wait…whatttttt the hell is this?!

To review: Trump read the assembled press a flattering Wall Street Journal piece that included the (really poorly crafted) sentence, “By shouting out many of them by name and documenting their deeds on a daily basis, he has vivified the American way in action (once reluctantly aroused).” Then, completely unable to not turn the briefing room into a middle-school boys’ bathroom, Trump seized on the word “aroused” like only he can:

“It was hard to get it aroused.”

“And it is hard to get it aroused.”

“But we got it aroused.”

Sorry, Ma. I’ll be sure to wash my mouth out with soap before I call.

We've never been very good at being conservative.

And usually, that serves us well in doing the ambitious, hard-hitting journalism that you turn to Mother Jones for. But it also means we can't afford to come up short when it comes to scratching together the funds it takes to keep our team firing on all cylinders, and the truth is, we finished our budgeting cycle on June 30 about $100,000 short of our online goal.

This is no time to come up short. It's time to fight like hell, as our namesake would tell us to do, for a democracy where minority rule cannot impose an extreme agenda, where facts matter, and where accountability has a chance at the polls and in the press. If you value our reporting and you can right now, please help us dig out of the $100,000 hole we're starting our new budgeting cycle in with an always-needed and always-appreciated donation today.

payment methods

We've never been very good at being conservative.

And usually, that serves us well in doing the ambitious, hard-hitting journalism that you turn to Mother Jones for. But it also means we can't afford to come up short when it comes to scratching together the funds it takes to keep our team firing on all cylinders, and the truth is, we finished our budgeting cycle on June 30 about $100,000 short of our online goal.

This is no time to come up short. It's time to fight like hell, as our namesake would tell us to do, for a democracy where minority rule cannot impose an extreme agenda, where facts matter, and where accountability has a chance at the polls and in the press. If you value our reporting and you can right now, please help us dig out of the $100,000 hole we're starting our new budgeting cycle in with an always-needed and always-appreciated donation today.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate