I’m Pretty Sure This Is the Grossest Moment of a Coronavirus Briefing Yet

Patrick Semansky/AP

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Today is my mom’s birthday, but because I’m on weekend duty and because my parents’ phone has been seemingly busy all day—yes, that’s a thing that can still happen in 2020—I haven’t yet had a chance to talk to her and wish her well. You should be frowning at your screen, furrowing your brows. She’s great and deserves better. 

But! At least I have President Donald Trump’s latest coronavirus briefing to keep me informed and engaged while I wait for Mom to finally get off the phone. Let’s see what the prez has to say about COVID-19 today!

Wait…whatttttt the hell is this?!

To review: Trump read the assembled press a flattering Wall Street Journal piece that included the (really poorly crafted) sentence, “By shouting out many of them by name and documenting their deeds on a daily basis, he has vivified the American way in action (once reluctantly aroused).” Then, completely unable to not turn the briefing room into a middle-school boys’ bathroom, Trump seized on the word “aroused” like only he can:

“It was hard to get it aroused.”

“And it is hard to get it aroused.”

“But we got it aroused.”

Sorry, Ma. I’ll be sure to wash my mouth out with soap before I call.

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FACT:

Mother Jones was founded as a nonprofit in 1976 because we knew corporations and the wealthy wouldn't fund the type of hard-hitting journalism we set out to do.

Today, reader support makes up about two-thirds of our budget, allows us to dig deep on stories that matter, and lets us keep our reporting free for everyone. If you value what you get from Mother Jones, please join us with a tax-deductible donation today so we can keep on doing the type of journalism 2021 demands.

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