Adventures in Sexist Pork Industry Pamphlets

Ladies, rejoice: Thanks to the Pork Information Bureau, women can finally use a BBQ—just like men!

TDMuldoon/Shutterstock

With July 4th approaching, perhaps you’re planning for the cornerstone of patriotic party-making: the barbeque. An Americana standard, this is the sacred time when friends and family gather round the grill. Dad flips burgers, and Mom, well, she sets out the lemonade or fusses over the napkins or something.

Well ladies, behold the post-feminist era’s gift to you: Now you can turn the tables on your unsuspecting spouse/lover/friend/dad with “Girl Grill Power!” a guide to help ladies navigate the open pit, presented by “The Other White Meat” campaign.

Pork Information BureauPork Information Bureau

According to the Pork Information Bureau, here’s what you need to know to become a lady-grillmaster:

1) Confused? Just pretend your grill is a man you’re trying to romance.

PIB

This pamphlet is your staple “little black dress” to ensure you look good on your “first date with the grate.” Just “work it,” and your first hangout with Mr. Char-Broil will be a smashing success!

2) Grilling meat will make you “one hot mamma.”

PIBAnd another thing that will make you the most fetching of grill-ladies? Absolutely no risk-taking at all when it comes to your homecooking. Heaven forbid you should gamble on your family’s taste buds! Just make “certain they’re satisfied,” and you’ll “light up the night.”

3) You’ll probably better understand how to prepare meat for the grill if the directions are couched in a sexual metaphor.

PIB

The Pork Information Bureau recommends that, when prepping your grub, you “rub it right” with the “Spicy Girl’s Dry Rub,” which you can use a little or a lot of, “depending on your mood.” Really?

4) But don’t forget about gender equity!

PIBWouldn’t want to make your man feel like you’re treading his territory, i.e. “the grilling throne”. And of course your partner is a man, because meat grilling is something only heterosexual couples do.

5) Everything should be perfect. Always and forever.

PIBIf your table is absolutely flawless, all your female friends will be double-floored by your gender-bending grill antics.

6) Grilling is empowerment!

PIB

Yeah, enough with the booze already. Think of the calories! And speaking of: You might not know what “loin” means—tough word, I know—but just be sure it’s on your meat label. That means it’s healthy! And another vocab tip: “Loin” is two words. No, really:

DOES IT FEEL LIKE POLITICS IS AT A BREAKING POINT?

Headshot of Editor in Chief of Mother Jones, Clara Jeffery

It sure feels that way to me, and here at Mother Jones, we’ve been thinking a lot about what journalism needs to do differently, and how we can have the biggest impact.

We kept coming back to one word: corruption. Democracy and the rule of law being undermined by those with wealth and power for their own gain. So we're launching an ambitious Mother Jones Corruption Project to do deep, time-intensive reporting on systemic corruption, and asking the MoJo community to help crowdfund it.

We aim to hire, build a team, and give them the time and space needed to understand how we got here and how we might get out. We want to dig into the forces and decisions that have allowed massive conflicts of interest, influence peddling, and win-at-all-costs politics to flourish.

It's unlike anything we've done, and we have seed funding to get started, but we're looking to raise $500,000 from readers by July when we'll be making key budgeting decisions—and the more resources we have by then, the deeper we can dig. If our plan sounds good to you, please help kickstart it with a tax-deductible donation today.

Thanks for reading—whether or not you can pitch in today, or ever, I'm glad you're with us.

Signed by Clara Jeffery

Clara Jeffery, Editor-in-Chief

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our newsletters

Subscribe and we'll send Mother Jones straight to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate

Share your feedback: We’re planning to launch a new version of the comments section. Help us test it.