If You Are Buying Pumpkin Spice Protein Powder, You Should Just Give Up

Here are the year’s worst autumnal products.

Kichigin Aleksandr/123RF

In case you haven’t noticed, pumpkin spice flavoring is no longer relegated to your Starbuck’s latte: You can now find pumpkin spiced peanut butter, dog biscuits, and even deodorant. If the trend is starting to make you feel nauseous, Washington Post reporter Maura Judkis, a recent guest on our podcast Bite, has some good news for you. “This year could be the beginning of the end of the pumpkin spice party,” Judkis wrote in her essay “I used every pumpkin spice product I could find for a week. Now my armpits smell like nutmeg.”

According to data analysts at Nielsen, Judkis reports, while pumpkin spice products grew by 20 percent in 2013 over the previous year, this year saw only 6 percent in annual growth.

On Bite, Judkis schools us on the best and the worst pumpkin spice products, speculates on the up-and-coming autumnal flavor, and explains why the pumpkin spice latte became the symbol of the “basic bitch.”  

And because we couldn’t help ourselves, here’s our list of the year’s most ridiculous pumpkin spice products. 

Native Pumpkin Spice Latte deodorant

AI Sports Pumpkin Pie Whey Protein powder

Jif Whips: Whipped Peanut Butter and Pumpkin Pie Spice

Greenies Pumpkin Spice Flavor dog teething biscuits

Kahlúa Pumpkin Spice

Burnett’s Pumpkin Spice Vodka 

Farmers’ Market Natural Pumpkin Spice bar soap

Showseason Pumpkin Spice Pet Shampoo

Rossi Pasta’s Pumpkin Spice Fettuccini Pasta

Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds

Bonus: Read Mother Jones editor Ben Dreyfuss’s piece on whether pumpkin is actually an ingredient in any of these products. 

MORE HARD-HITTING JOURNALISM

In 2014, before Donald Trump announced his run for president, we knew we had to do something different to address the fundamental challenge facing journalism: how hard-hitting reporting that can hold the powerful accountable can survive as the bottom falls out of the news business.

Being a nonprofit, we started planning The Moment for Mother Jones, a special campaign to raise $25 million for key investments to make Mother Jones the strongest watchdog it can be. Five years later, readers have stepped up and contributed an astonishing $23 million in gifts and future pledges. This is an incredible statement from the Mother Jones community in the face of huge threats—both economic and political—against the free press.

Read more about The Moment and see what we've been able to accomplish thanks to readers' incredible generosity so far, and please join them today. Your gift will be matched dollar for dollar, up to $500,000 total, during this critical moment for journalism.

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our newsletters

Subscribe and we'll send Mother Jones straight to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate

We have a new comment system! We are now using Coral, from Vox Media, for comments on all new articles. We'd love your feedback.