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A non-exhaustive list:
- Make tomatoes great again.
- Rename Denali to Mt. Trump.
- Forbid stupid homeowner association rules.
- Fix Windows once and for all.
- Eliminate ex-president Obama’s Secret Service detail.
- Annex Cuba.
- Build a permanent moon base as favor to Newt Gingrich. Also: lots of new zoos.
- Send Atrios to a reeducation camp until his attitude improves.
- Build a beautiful new Strategic Petroleum Reserve to handle all the oil he’s going to take from ISIS.
- Nationalize Twitter.
- Present Sarah Palin with a Kennedy Center Honor for the Performing Arts.
- Invent really good artificial sugar and fat substitutes.
- Declare war on Denmark, just to piss off Bernie Sanders.
