Amazon Will Open HQ 2.0 in Your City If You Bribe Them Enough

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A couple of days ago Amazon announced that it would be opening a “second headquarters” somewhere in the United States. Since then, there’s been a cottage industry in pieces about why some particular city would be great for Amazon.

Knock it off, please. Amazon can google this stuff as well as the rest of us, and they already know which cities are serious contenders. Among those cities, the winner will be whichever one showers them with the biggest bribes.

Alternatively, they literally know the winner already, and the competion is just a ruse to raise the bribe amount from gargantuan to record-shattering.

One way or another, though, it’s all about the bribes. And if you have to ask the price of entry, you can’t afford it.

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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