I Am Spartacus — Brett Kavanaugh Edition

Universal Studios

Last week, conservative stalwart Ed Whelan took to Twitter to suggest that Christine Blasey Ford was mistaken about her encounter with a drunken and violent Brett Kavanaugh at a house party when they were teenagers. It’s not that the attempted rape never happened, Whelan said, it’s that it was someone else who tried to rape her. He even named his suspect, a completely innocent man who has nothing to do with any of this.

Whelan apologized and took down his Twitter account the next day. Ever since, conservatives have been trying desperately to pretend he doesn’t exist and that they never knew him. But not everyone has forgotten. Earlier today the Senate Judiciary Committee published a timeline of its investigation so far, and it turns out that Whelan’s mystery suspect has come forward:

But wait! There’s another one:

There sure do seem to be a surprising number of people willing to incriminate themselves of felonies for the sake of helping Kavanaugh make it to the Supreme Court. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

And while we’re on the subject, Kavanaugh has claimed that although he wasn’t perfect as a teenager, he was pretty damn good. Sure, a beer now and then, but that’s pretty much it. For a light drinker, however, various documents from the period in question sure do seem to refer a lot to sex and heavy drinking. Here’s a definitely NSFW sample:

  • Keg City Club (Treasurer) — 100 Kegs Or Bust: this one is pretty self-explanatory.
  • Beach Week Ralph Club – Biggest Contributor: ralphing is a slang term for vomiting. The implication here is that during Beach Week Kavanaugh was the heaviest drinker and most prodigious vomiter.
  • FFFFFFFourth of July: this is apparently a variation of “Find them, finger them, fuck them, forget them.”
  • Boofed: not entirely clear, but apparently a variation of bufu, slang for buttfucker.

It is, of course, entirely possible that Kavanaugh, like lots of teenage boys, tossed off this kind of slang solely as a way of looking tough in front of his friends. Who knows? But this, along with other evidence, sure seems to indicate, at the very least, that Kavanaugh was a hard partier and a heavy drinker during his high school and college years. Was he also an FFFF man? I suppose it’s possible we’ll get a better idea about that at Thursday’s hearing.