Things I Hope Will Die in 2020

Ooh, a long list of things we hope will die in 2020. Amazingly enough, I’m on board with almost all of them. I’ll even add a few of my own:

“Correlation is not causation.” Yeah, we know. This doesn’t make you sound nearly as smart as you think.

Kanye. And Kim too. And all the Kardashians. –My sister

Charts that don’t adjust for inflation. Just stop it unless you have a really good reason.

Cats who are too damn picky to drink from the water bowl unless you fill it up while they’re watching. But of course they’ll happily drink out of any disgusting puddle of goop if you let them outside.

Using your smartphone while driving. And not just on the freeway. Everywhere. –My sister

Entering a doorway and then stopping to figure out which way to go. Take a few steps in and then figure it out. ffs.

Driving 15 mph in a school zone. Speed up a little, people.

Driving 35 mph in parking lots. Slow down, people. –My wife

“Thank you for your service.” I’m not the only one who thinks this always sounds fake, am I?

The wall.

Elon Musk and Peter Thiel.

The Bernie finger wag. We aren’t a bunch of naughty children, dude. –My wife.

Star Wars. I’m pretty sad that I have to say this.

New sports in the Olympics. We need to get rid of some sports in the Olympics. Do we really have to endure “sport climbing” and 3×3 basketball next year?

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