UFO enthusiasts are hoping that a Hillary Clinton presidency would blow the lid off the government’s alien conspiracies. But the shocking truth about Hillary’s affinity for aliens is already out there—in the pages of the Weekly World News, the spoof tabloid best known for its tireless coverage of Bat Boy. Throughout the ’90s and early ’00s, the WWN documented—alright, fabricated—the Clintons’ political alliances and personal dalliances with extraterrestrials, including Hillary’s on-again, off-again boyfriend P’Lod.
Some highlights of the WWN‘s Clinton-alien exclusives:
Take me to your leader: In 1992, an unnamed alien passed over President George Bush and Ross Perot to endorse presidential candidate Bill Clinton, kicking off the Clintons’ tumultuous relationship with interplanetary visitors.
Quid pro UFO: Following Clinton’s election, the alien gave the president-elect a joy ride in his spacecraft, sparking speculation that he might be up for a position in the earthling’s administration.
Brother from another planet: In June 1993, the Clintons adopted the infant survivor of a UFO crash, whom they named John Stanley Clinton. An observer told the WWN, “He will almost certainly be educated and groomed for a life in public service.”
Contact with America: The extraterrestrial power broker soured on Clinton and met with Newt Gingrich in 1995, offering his endorsement if the then-House Speaker ran for president.
Alien versus predator: In 1999, Bill Clinton caused an intergalactic diplomatic incident when he groped a “shapely female alien.”
Lust in space: For Valentine’s Day in 2002, Hillary’s alien boyfriend P’Lod gave her a pair of “extraterrestrial undies.”
50 shades of gray: In 2003, the recently jilted P’Lod penned a tell-all book in which he recounted “alien-style lovemaking” with his ex.
Earth girls are easy: Reunited with Hillary, P’Lod shared his tips for romancing terrestrials, like licking your partner: “Gene Simmons aside, very few humans are blessed with a 16-inch tongue like mine.”
Neither the anonymous alien nor P’Lod appear to have endorsed any 2016 candidates yet.