January 19, 2018

Stephen Colbert Is Horrified Over Trump’s Forbes Magazine Spanking

“He got spanked, but I feel like I’m being punished.”

Stephen Colbert would rather do anything else than imagine President Donald Trump having sex, but new details published in Mother Jones on Thursday, revealing adult film star Stormy Daniels once claimed she spanked Trump with a copy of Forbes magazine, appear to be forcing the issue.

“Wow, he got spanked, but I feel like I’m being punished,” Colbert said while addressing the report.

Colbert’s horror only grew with the additional revelation that the Forbes magazine Daniels used for their spanking activities featured Trump on the cover. Mother Jones reported that a cover in 2006, when the alleged sexual encounters between Daniels and Trump occurred, does feature Trump and his two children—a visual Colbert acknowledged would “haunt” his audience members’ nightmares.

“I think I speak for Dr. Freud when I say we owe Oedipus an apology.”

You can read more on Trump’s Forbes magazine spanking here.

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We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

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