Robert Mueller Was ‘The Bachelor’ In SNL’s Hilarious Cold Open Last Night

“I don’t think I can give you everything that you want right now, and I think you sense that.”

Saturday Night Live mashed up two of America’s favorite reality shows for its cold open this week: We get a taste of special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation of the Trump’s White House reenvisioned as if it were the finale of The Bachelor

The sketch mimics The Bachelor‘s season finale. For those of you who don’t keep up with the show, the star couldn’t make up his mind between the two contestants, and went on to break up with his declared winner in a painfully awkward scene. SNL has just a slight change in casting: Kate McKinnon plays Robert Mueller opposite Becca, the dumped Bachelor contestant played by Cecil Strong.

McKinnon’s Mueller can’t promise Becca that he will charge Trump with collusion in his investigation into Russia’s alleged interference in the US election, because he can’t get obstruction of justice off his mind.

“I don’t think I can give you everything that you want right now, and I think you sense that,” McKinnon’s Mueller says. 

Distraught, Becca replies, “So what? You don’t have Trump on collusion?”

McKinnon’s Mueller offers a number of canned reasons for why he won’t commit. “I think I need to explore the possibility that I might have a stronger case with some other stuff.” 

Trump hasn’t yet reacted publicly to the sketch, but it’s probably not going to help the fact that he’s been furious at SNL over Alec Baldwin’s impressions of him.

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  • Rebecca Leber is a reporter in Mother Jones' DC bureau, where she covers environmental politics and policy. She's covered climate and energy for The New Republic, Grist, and ThinkProgress, and her writing has been published by more than a dozen outlets. Reach her at rleber@motherjones.com.