Everyone Thinks A Straight Pride Parade in Boston Is a Hilariously Dumb Idea

Alena Kuzub/Zuma

Three guys are trying to plan a Straight Pride Parade in Boston. Just about everyone thinks it’s a terrible idea.

It all started with a Facebook post last week by Mark Sahady, a member of a far-right group who claimed that he was working with the city of Boston to plan a Straight Pride Parade in late August. 

Boston Mayor Marty Walsh has not confirmed that the parade is actually happening. And “mascot” Brad Pitt has not confirmed his participation yet. 

Massachusetts was the first state to legalize gay marriage, and Boston, whose annual Pride parade draws hundreds of thousands of people, has long been a haven for the LGBTQ community. So it’s no surprise that the concept of a “Super Happy Fun America Straight Pride Parade“—a celebration of “the diverse history, culture, and contributions of the straight community”—has been met with ridicule.

Wow! Cool initiative, fellas!! Just a thought, instead of ‘Straight Pride’ parade, how about this: The ‘desperately trying to bury our own gay thoughts by being homophobic because no one taught us how to access our emotions as children’ parade? Whatta ya think? Too on the nose?? https://t.co/gaBWtq2PaL

— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) June 5, 2019

On Boston's "Straight Pride Parade." pic.twitter.com/VBndnrpYlo

— James Fell (@BodyForWife) June 4, 2019

Will “Straight Pride” be a Freaky Friday type situation where all of our history books, movies, stories, media, news, etc feature mostly LGBTQ+ people & perspectives?

Will people have to come out as straight?

What would folks march in? Socks w/ sandals on? Dad jeans? https://t.co/7SUiWHWRMd

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) June 5, 2019

If the Straight Pride Parade organizers’ plan doesn’t work out, the streets of their city will be safe again for heterosexuals the next time a Boston team wins a championship.