I Can’t Stop Laughing About Rudy Giuliani’s Dripping Hair Dye

Seriously. My diaphragm hurts.

Fox News/Zuma

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The only thing that has given me joy today is the brown hair dye that trickled down the sides of Rudy Giuliani’s face at the press conference in which he doubled down on his attempts to fabricate a voting-fraud scandal to secure Trump’s reelection.

If Giuliani had just butt-dialed a reporter and not spilled deets about his business interests in Bahrain, dayenu.

If he had accidentally uploaded to YouTube a video of himself speaking in an exaggerated Chinese accent and not pantomimed a bow, dayenu.

If he had just been duped by the actor playing Borat’s daughter and not laid down on a bed, seemingly convinced that she wanted to have sex with him, dayenu.

If he had just mistakenly hosted a post-election press conference at a landscaping center, and had not picked a landscaping center bordering a sex shop and a crematorium, dayenu.

If he had just sweated his temporary hair dye down the sides of his face and not peppered his speech with absurd references to My Cousin Vinny and anti-Semitic conspiracy theories—well, you get the point.

Thanks for the laughs, Mr. Mayor.

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In "It's Not a Crisis. This Is the New Normal," we explain, as matter-of-factly as we can, what exactly our finances look like, how brutal it is to sustain quality journalism right now, what makes Mother Jones different than most of the news out there, and why support from readers is the only thing that keeps us going. Despite the challenges, we're optimistic we can increase the share of online readers who decide to donate—starting with hitting an ambitious $300,000 goal in just three weeks to make sure we can finish our fiscal year break-even in the coming months.

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