Fifteen Pages of Fame

Digging our claws into the soft flesh of celebrity journalism

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So what’s Brad Pitt really like? He’s a lot like Hugh Grant, who’s a lot like Claire Danes, who’s a lot like every other surprisingly complex, assuredly heterosexual, disturbingly foulmouthed celebrity. Except for Gloria the Iberian lynx, that is. Gloria is slightly different, because she doesn’t have a thuggish publicist enforcing the golden rule of celebrity journalism: Every juicy dollop of celebrity candor must be repaid with a like amount of squishy journalist obsequiousness.

Celebrity Estimated exposure to celebrity Main objective Gratuitous down-to-
earthness
The star is not gay Does the celebrity have Tourette’s syndrome? Reader’s appropriate penance
Vanity Fair Brad Pitt Three hours Plugging Meet Joe Black “[Pitt is] fun-loving, to be sure, ‘the king of flatulence,’ said Aidan Quinn.” “I hesitate to use the word ‘feminine,’ because people will get the wrong idea, but something in the way Pitt padded around the house in his slip-ons…made me think he’s exactly the kind of guy a girl could…discuss fabric swatches with.” “Pitt and I were talking about various literary styles when Cormac McCarthy’s name came up. ‘Whoof, he’s one of the all-stars,’ Pitt said admiringly.” Must actually read book by Cormac McCarthy
GQ Hugh Grant At least two separate visits Plugging Mickey Blue Eyes and Notting Hill “‘I was never able to blow my nose without a hankie before,’ [Grant] notes. ‘[James Caan] can shoot it for miles. Great cables of snot shooting from his nose that would…hit some minor actor in the face.'” “His face fairly quivers with rascally delight; I suspect he likes being here [in a gay bar] because of, not in spite of recurring (and baseless) rumors that he’s gay.” “I have a kind of Tourette’s thing now, where every time I put down the phone I have to say, ‘wanker, cunt.'” Must actually watch Nine Months
Premiere Clare Danes However long it takes an overly introspective novice bowler to bowl three games Plugging Brokedown Palace and The Mod Squad “‘We both became really fond of these sleeping pills. We were like two little crackheads in the back…. It got pretty violent at times.'” No overt mentions of Danes’ not-gayness After criticizing Manila in this interview — it “fucking smelled of cockroaches” — Danes told reporters: “I would never intentionally insult the Philippines.” Must skip next MTV repeat of “My So-Called Life,” even if it’s the one where Angela finally kisses Jordan Catalano
Details Pamela Anderson A little too much: “Pamela…sprawls out on her freshly steam-cleaned carpet.” Plugging new TV show and official, patented Pamela Anderson G-string “‘You know,’ she says thoughtfully, ‘I think I’m gonna change the name to Pamela’s Rectal Floss. That’ll go flying off the shelves.'” “‘Everybody’s done that at least once in their life,’ Pamela says about her XXX VHS…. ‘Thank God I don’t have 60 billion tapes out there or anything with women.'” “I have Tourette’s syndrome: I just say whatever’s on my mind. I just keep spitting it out.” Must model the patented Pamela Anderson G-string
Natural History Gloria the lberian lynx “Just over a week” Staving off extinction “By examining more than 1,000 feces samples, Palomares found that most lynx consume an average of two rabbits a day.” “A female will mate with whichever male has won the adjacent territory, and a male will mate with as many females as he can.” Tendency toward Pitt-like vocalizations, so maybe: “Gloria utters a throaty and menacing growl.” Kick back and pop in the Pam and Tommy tape: You did a good deed.

WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

payment methods

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