MoJo Outs Cartoon Land

Merrie Melodies or just gay ‘toons?

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Thank God the Rev. Jerry Falwell has stepped in to clean up children’s television. Last week he outed Tinky Winky, from that perverted show the “Teletubbies,” because, Falwell pronounced, the character is clearly a fount of gayness: He’s purple, the gay color; he has an antenna shaped like a triangle, the gay symbol; and he carries a purse, something all gay people do.

But Falwell’s work is far from over. You see, kiddy TV is downright rife with gayety. Heck, Toon Town is like one big circuit party and has been for years.

Fred Flintstone
Evidence: His nickname on the Bedrock bowling team: “Twinkle-toes Flintstone.” The show’s theme song ends “…we’ll have a gay old time!” Wears an orange dress with little triangles on it. Hangs out with Barney far more than Wilma.
Bugs Bunny
Evidence: Often stands with hand on hip. Plays a hairdresser in one episode. Frequently dresses in drag. Loves to throw on a top hat and tails and belt out Broadway show-tunes with his buddy Daffy — who, it’s worth noting, has a lisp.

Velma (of Scooby Doo)
Evidence: Always tries to sit next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. Sports that butch haircut. Has broad shoulders and wears thick turtleneck-sweaters and knee socks. Never once shagged Shaggy.

Popeye
Evidence: Eats lots of salad. Wears a sailor suit, even though he hasn’t been on a ship in years. Does little sailor-dances. Dates a flat-chested transvestite named Olive Oyl. Best friend named Wimpy.

Batman and Robin
Evidence: Robin’s nickname: Boy Wonder. Batman’s real name: Bruce. Both wear tights. They’re in great shape. They like to show each other their “grappling hooks.

Peppermint Patty
Evidence: Has a deep, gravelly voice. Wears pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals. Plays a mean game of football. Likes to taunt Charlie Brown. Always hanging out with that androgynous Marcie. Wears comfortable shoes. Nickname: Sir.

The Pink Panther
‘Nuff said

Thanks to “Fun Stuff” on Geocities for, um, providing us with these images.

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Thank you!

We didn't know what to expect when we told you we needed to raise $400,000 before our fiscal year closed on June 30, and we're thrilled to report that our incredible community of readers contributed some $415,000 to help us keep charging as hard as we can during this crazy year.

You just sent an incredible message: that quality journalism doesn't have to answer to advertisers, billionaires, or hedge funds; that newsrooms can eke out an existence thanks primarily to the generosity of its readers. That's so powerful. Especially during what's been called a "media extinction event" when those looking to make a profit from the news pull back, the Mother Jones community steps in.

The months and years ahead won't be easy. Far from it. But there's no one we'd rather face the big challenges with than you, our committed and passionate readers, and our team of fearless reporters who show up every day.

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